Frumpzilla

The Bay City Rollers Invade a Nursing Home, Provide Perhaps Final Spark to the Twilight of Life

You know, I’ve always been a little weirded out by nursing homes. There’s just something gut wrenching about the concept of a repository for old people; typically sad and/or confused old people just waiting to die. Tragic, really.

Now, of course, I understand that care requirements often necessitate residency in one of these repositories where sad, confused old people go to die, and that’s all good and fine. I guess I just wish it didn’t have to be that way.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I mean, I’ll definitely be shipping my folks off to one the first chance I get; whenever I can get them declared incompetent, or something (despite their claims to the contrary, I fully suspect my parents never check/read Frumpzilla, so I guess consider that “joke” a test).

I just hope by that time the entertainment packages have evolved beyond that of bingo and knitting classes. Something a bit more upbeat and fun loving, you know? Like, say, The Bay City Rollers performing their #1 hit single from 1975, “Saturday Night.” Oh, the humanity!

Thanks to T-Rex for the video…

Jam of the Wednesday: David Lee Roth’s isolated vocal track from “Runnin’ With the Devil”

Little known fact: Assuming the volume is loud enough in my car, I may or may not be the greatest amateur vocalist on the planet. It’s true. I mean, it must be, because — as far as I can tell — I’m always in key, and rarely, if ever, miss a note.

Now, I probably won’t ever take these pipes on the road, but then I’m more of a studio artist, I think. Studios and cars (with the volume on 11). Besides, putting together a group of top notch musicians is so hard these days, and, based on my mobile/automotive performances, I’m pretty sure a songbird such as myself needs a worthy complement of musical accompaniment. As you’ll soon see below, I’m obviously not the only one.

This is an oldie — in more ways than one — but a goodie nonetheless, and really serves as a shining example of just how important that aforementioned musical accompaniment can be. And to be clear, I’m not necessarily singling out David Lee Roth for ridicule here; he just happens to be readily accessible. In fact, I’m sure an overwhelming majority of the “great” voices in popular music would fare similarly if put to such a test. If nothing else, I think this phenomenon offers quite a bit of insight into why a cappella isn’t a more popular musical form….

Rick K’s drummer pounds skin better than a Thai masseuse…

And he apparently is an “Allnighter,” too. Okay, okay…so I know this isn’t necessarily fresh, but I’ve been without consistent internetz access for over a week now (due to moving), and I just need to get that frumping feeling back.

You know, I had pretty much resigned myself to the belief that this was easily the most epic display of skins dominance in recent memory. Needless to say, I now stand corrected.

This guy just demands respect, Frumpsters. Or perhaps ridicule. Possibly both. Either way, he’s pretty dang awesome. How Rick K managed to secure his services as one of the “Allnighters” is beyond me (check out another performance after the jump).

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The Dating Site “Establishedmen.com” Rules the World in Subtlety

Stay classy Miami Living magazine.

How cool is that new Nike World Cup ad?

Wowzers…just friggin fantastic. Nike is definitely good at soccer commercials.

Freaky Sexy World Records

Jonah Falcon, proud record holder

Another gem found on the WolfWeb is this blog “the frisky” listing the 13 Freakishly Sexy World Records

Records include “worlds strongest vagina”, “worlds biggest orgy” and most orgasms in one sitting

Frump it for some tasty tidbits to amaze your friends and try to beat yourself!

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DJ Felli Fel’s “I Wanna Get Drunk” gives ICP’s “Miracles” a serious run for its money

For worst song of the year, I mean. It doesn’t get much more ridiculous than this, Frumpsters. Sampling is the norm these days, of course — sad as that is — but taking Van Halen’s “Jump” and turning it into “I Wanna Get Drunk” has Kissed with Apocalypse written all over it.

How much in the red is Mr. Felli Fel gonna be after paying the licensing costs for this? My money’s still on “Miracles” as far as hilarity is concerned, but this is close. There’s some explicit, NSFW lyrics in here, so if you’re at work, make sure you’ve got your cans ready…

Thanks to The Admiral for the tip. Also, these seem to keep getting nuked by Warner Brothers, so I’ll try to find new ones as often as I can

Wedding DJ adds innovative touch to Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight”

Not everyone is a huge fan of “The Phil”, but it’s rare that you’ll find someone who doesn’t appreciate the fill that brings in the drums, full force, in Collins’ 1981 classic, “In The Air Tonight.” Thanks to Mike Tyson’s most memorable scene in The Hangover, even the Generation Y-ers have been exposed, so you can expect this Face Value cut to be filling the airwaves from time to time for many years to come.

What one might not expect, however, is to hear it played at a wedding. See, “The Phil” apparently wrote this one about the frustrations stemming from his 1979 divorce from his first wife, but that bittersweet irony didn’t stop this wedding DJ from spinning it. Oh, and then doing this…

Yes, we know this video has been edited, but lighten up. Fiction can be fun, no? Thanks to The Admiral for the tip…

Lord Jesus Christ is hit by a car while leading the NFL in jersey sales

MIRACULOUS.

A man, Lord Jesus Christ, aka Lord Jesus Christ, suffered minor injuries while walking down a Northampton street on Tuesday….cheating death as 200o pounds of of hurtling steel and flammable liquids hurtled towards Christ as he crossed on a crosswalk.

At the same time, Lord Jesus Christ, aka Timothy Tebow, leads the NFL in jersey sales only a few short weeks into his NFL career.  Tebow’s brand bested such tried All-Pro, NFL warriors like Donovan McNabb, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning and Brett Farve as a third-string situational, developmental QB.

In we trust.  Hallelujah!!

The Miracle of Evolution?

According to The Sun, British boobs are growing at a rapid pace.  You know it is getting bad when the former “big dog”, a bra called “The Windsock” (a K cup size), is no longer big enough for the largest Brit busts.  To counter the problem, the Bravissimo Chain and Debenhams (a department store I guess) has introduced the KK Cup for the suffering, squashed and stuffed ladies of the UK.

For a little perspective on how big the KK bra is, EACH cup is 10 inches wide…the diameter of most dinner plates.

Experts evidently blame pollution and hormones (The Chese blames McDonalds, but that is perhaps for another post) and believe that it wont be long until a LL will be necessary.

Cheerio!

Old man dancing to Too Short proves even old dogs can learn new tricks…

And, I mean, there’s a lot of new tricks in here. Can’t quite make out what kiosk this gentleman wondered over from, or how he escaped his handlers, but one thing is abundantly clear: He obviously felt life was simply too short to not just shut up and dance (to Too $hort). Truly wise within his years…

Thanks to Dbj for the link

Jenna Jameson is Looking Goooooood

Fresh off her baby-daddy drama, Tito Ortiz a.k.a. “Captain Obvious”  is now claiming Jenna has a drug problem.

I have never understood the phrase, “rode hard and put up wet” until now.  Yikes.  Little girls everywhere take note…a life of porn, drugs and plastic surgery is no way to coast into menopause.

(thanks to the superficial for the pic)

Jam of the Wednesday: Max Indian

Some local flavor for this Jam of the Wednesday. Though I’ve only recently come across it, Max Indian, hailing from the quaint, Marxist community of Carrboro, North Carolina, has pressed one of the better “Indie/Power-Pop” albums I’ve heard in quite some time…and I have no intention of limiting that statement to just local bands.

We’re talking super indie here, too, as, amazingly, Max Indian is apparently without a label at the moment. Yes, unfortunately, since its release back in 2008, I think the band has been tasked with pushing their official debut, You Can Go Anywhere, Do Anything, themselves. Sad as that is, I can promise you they’ve made at least one sale over at CD-Baby.

But yeah, I’ll be honest. I don’t possess the time or vocabulary to write the type of glowing, Pitchforkesque review these guys deserve. I will say this, however: If one were to put, say, The Beatles; Badfinger; The Zombies; Big Star; Thin Lizzy; and I guess a dash of The Flaming Lips in a blender — like, a really old, low-fi blender — you’d probably be left with a lovely Max Indian concoction.

Does that concoction taste groundbreaking, necessarily? No. No, it doesn’t. Does it taste really, really lush and flavorful despite the graininess that, deep down, you know you long for from a new millennium band? You’re Frump damn right it does.  Seriously, there’s not a bad cut on the entire album. Best part is, the hooks and harmonies are more than pungent enough to leave quite a pleasant aftertaste for at least days, if not months to come.

Here’s the only studio cut of from the alum that I could find on YouTube. Make the jump for a few more, and, assuming you enjoy (you will), make sure you go back to CD Baby and pick this one up for your collection. You may just get a lifetime of mileage out of it…

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Frump Day Links: 4/21/2010

Spreading the Frump Day love, one link at a time…

Former England great Gary Linekar’s wife is hot, and might have a hand in/on this/the players in World Cup 2010 (Busted Coverage)

Let’s welcome Chancellor Woodson to N.C. State (Dave from Carter-Finley)

Our friend over at Prose & Cons talks about how she defeated March; her pointy nose, and how JDate should really get a tad more serious about its screening process. (Prose & Cons)

7-11 is apparently selling its own beer now, but only in 17 States.  Possible Smokey and the Bandit sequel brewing? (Sharapova’s Thigh)

Tim Tebow isn’t attending the NFL Draft.  Here’s 5 possible reasons as to why. (Sparty and Friends)

Julius Mays might be  leaving the Pack.  But why? (Statefansnation)

25 Examples of Unintentional Porn (Holy Taco)

Profound statement from one of baseball’s earliest victims of racism on how today’s cries of racism in baseball should be muted. (With Leather)

New from Buster: The Buster Sports Show! (Buster Sports)

Michael Jackson: In the Year 2000

This is probably nothing new, and we don’t do much of this as it is, but from time to time you just have to throw something up and share it with the world. I’m sure most readers are tired of my verbosity by now anyway, so this time I’ll let the pictures do the talking.

Here’s an artist’s take on The King of Pop, as commissioned for a 1985 Ebony magazine feature projecting how Jackson would likely look in the year 2000. Swing and a miss!

Found over at Monorail.  Thanks to Dbj for the link.