Frumpzilla

Michael Jackson: In the Year 2000

This is probably nothing new, and we don’t do much of this as it is, but from time to time you just have to throw something up and share it with the world. I’m sure most readers are tired of my verbosity by now anyway, so this time I’ll let the pictures do the talking.

Here’s an artist’s take on The King of Pop, as commissioned for a 1985 Ebony magazine feature projecting how Jackson would likely look in the year 2000. Swing and a miss!

Found over at Monorail.  Thanks to Dbj for the link.

SNL’s parody of Insane Clown Posse’s “Miracles” video

There’s a handful of good jokes in there, I suppose, but it’s quite telling when a Saturday Night Live spoof isn’t as funny as the source.

Kim Kardashian and Cristiano Ronaldo are a couple…

And it’s a official, according to Perez Hilton. While it’s certainly disheartening that my chances with Kim have now apparently been shot down, at least, as Perez says, this is still quite an upgrade from Reggie. Why? Money, obviously.

Absent endorsements, Real Madrid’s, Madeira born Winger rakes in close to $18 million annually. The sum of Bush’s salary in three of his four years with the Saints doesn’t eclipse that amount, so I’m confident Kim should feel well taken care of.  Good timing, too, given that Ronaldo is about to star on the sports world’s biggest stage: This summer’s 2010 World Cup.

Let’s just hope Ronaldo’s newly acquired assets aren’t such a distraction that they contribute to a paltry pitch performance…

Scott Stapp Still a Musical Genius.

File this next one under “Way too good to be real, yet it is in fact, real”.  The Florida Marlins have forged a partnership with the former(or are they still together?) lead singer of the almighty “rock” group Creed, Scott Stapp.  This partnership includes work for charity, however we’ll ignore that for the purposes of this article as it focuses mainly on hating this guy because he’s awful.

What we WILL focus on is the new intro song Stapp recorded for the Marlins.  This is the best Stapp related happening since his 2005 visit to a Gainesville, FL Denny’s. How could you not be propelled to a World Series victory after being inspired by this song?

Below the Frump, the Dylan-esque lyrics(as I hear them) as well as last years Marlin’s intro offering from Pitbull, which reaffirms South Florida’s love for all things awful.
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Conan O’Brien Lands on TBS in November

20 minutes ago, Conan O’Brien announced on Twitter that he will be doing his show on TBS at 11p.m. starting this November.  The announcement has since been picked up by nearly every media outlet, such as this.

The program will air Mondays through Thursdays at 11 p.m. Eastern, shifting TBS’ “Lopez Tonight,” starring George Lopez, to midnight.

It had been long rumored and thought O’Brien would end up on Fox and yet he finds himself on basic cable.  I do watch TBS quite a bit for their reruns of Seinfeld, The Office, and Family Guy, so I’ll gladly keep the channel there for another hour now.

I do like the fact Lopez is being pushed back.  My initial feeling when I heard the news was if you could pick one lead-in that would be worse than Jay Leno, it’d be George Lopez.  That guy sucks(you’re Mexican, we get it).  But with Lopez being pushed back, I still won’t have to watch it and Conan will keep all the Family Guy/Office viewers.

If you can’t wait til November to get your fill of Coco, feel free to try and catch him on tour or read his twitter updates on billboards across America!(pictures after the frump)

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Hopscotch Music Festival Lineup Revealed

Folks have been trying to find out for months exactly who would be playing at Raleigh’s Hopscotch Festival.

Now, some things are coming to light with an expected official announcement coming tomorrow.

Headliners will be: Panda Bear (of Animal Collective), Broken Social Scene, The Rosebuds, No Age, Public Enemy and The Love Language.

Other bands rumored to be performing are Megafaun, , Future Islands, Gray Young, Caitlin Cary’s Small Ponds with Tres Chicas, Ben Frost, Ryan Gustafson, Max Indian, I Was Totally Destroying It, EAR PWR, Old Bricks and many, many others.

The festival will run from September 9th through 11th at nine venues around downtown Raleigh. Tickets are rumored to range from $30 for the individual larger shows, with incremental prices of $45 (all local venue shows), $85 (larger City Plaza and local venue shows) and $120 VIP passes that allow concert goers to avoid long lines and enjoy a pre-party with all your other indie rock loving scenesters.

Megafaun, Max Indian, American Aquarium, Caitlin Cary with Tres Chicas, Future Islands and Ryan Gustafson are some, among many, of the local acts that should not be missed.

Raleigh’s been ready for a festival of this magnitude and with bands of this quality for quite some time. Fantastic news to hear that it is finally coming to fruition. We can’t wait to hear the official announcement and full listing of all bands by the Hopscotch Festival folks this week. Best of luck getting those tickets, Hopscotchers.

Mindy McCready’s sex tape to ensure the hits just keep on coming for Roger Clemens

Hey, remember Mindy McCready? Former country star, former, potentially underage, mistress of one Roger “The Rocket” Clemens? If not, perhaps this will refresh your memory. Either way, thanks to Vivid Entertainment, the wonderful folks that brought you both the Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton sex tapes, you’ll now have a chance to get to know her better than you probably ever wanted to…

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Who the hell cheats on Kim Kardashian? Reggie Bush. That’s who.

Thanks to some sites called Perez Hilton and Radar (that’s right, I’m not above them), I just learned Reggie Bush may or may not have been running around on my beloved Kim Kardashian with some chick named “January.” Believe it or not,  and all apologies in advance to anyone associated with the name “January,” she apparently is not a stripper.  She is, however, a waitress.  So…

Anyways, this is all quite disheartening considering the time and effort we put into our Kim and Reggie heavy Super Bowl prop betting piece awhile back.  That and, of course, how sad it is to see a woman like Kim be mistreated so.  Shame on you, Reggie.

Taking a step back, though, I have no desire to serve as judge, jury and executioner…so I figured I’d let you decide:  Everything else held equal (huge assumption, I know), who do you go with here?

Ben Folds’ Ode to Merton(aka Chatroulette Piano Improv Dude)

I’m assuming everyone’s heard about Chatroulette by now.  If not, imagine using your own webcam to talk to 14 yr old girls and penises from all over the world!  Tempting no?  Some people have also used it to achieve Youtube fame, which is probably on par with reality show fame and slightly above streaker at sporting event fame these days.  I saw this video of Merton(not Ben Folds) a couple weeks ago and I admit I was slightly amused(but over 4 million views?! Really?!).

Saturday night in Charlotte, NC Ben Folds made his own Merton Chatroulette video and I have to say he out Mertoned Merton.  I’m going to the show in Raleigh on Thursday w/ the NC symphony and I’m expecting to be entertained thoroughly…chatroulette or no chatroulette! (original Merton vid after the frump if you haven’t seen it)

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Always Sunny back April 19th?!?!? **Sad Update**

According to this tweet from Danny Devito, “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” could be coming back as soon as April 19th!  Of course, Devito may have had too much Limoncello or he could be talking about another live stage show.  In any case, this is potential exciting news.  In honor of St. Patty’s day, I may just squeeze into my green man suit and run around for a little while.

**Not so awesome update** According to his latest tweet….Devito meant they start shooting April 19th, edit in the summer, and new Sunny will be delivered in the fall as per usual.  That little guy should be more specific! (pic below)

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Between Two Ferns: Ben Stiller

Zach Galifianakis at it again with a new Between Two Ferns interview. This time he takes on Ben Stiller, and kindly exchanges contact information with him…

“Milk-a-what?!?!?!”

“Actress”, “Model”, and all-around “classy” gal Lindsay Lohan is back in the news today.  My guess is, reality finally struck Ms. Lohan and she realized no one was willing to pay her anymore for doing absolutely nothing.  So naturally, she’s moved on to the next easiest way to never work a day in her life, a lawsuit.  Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million claiming they modeled a character in their latest commercial after her.

The New York Post says: (more…)

Zach Galifianakis to Host SNL, Bring the Funny

Set your DVR’s.  Stay at home just one saturday night.  Do whatever you need to do to see Saturday Night Live tomorrow.  As long he’s not handcuffed, Zach Galifianakis should deliver one of the funnier performances the show has seen in quite awhile.  The promos below are funnier than anything I’ve seen the past few seasons which should tell you something.  So remember, 11:30pm EST on NBC.  Yes, I’ve talked a lot of ish about NBC recently, however this is surely one reason to condone watching.  Also, after the frump, you’ll find a collection of Zach G. hilarity to get you through the rest of this friday.

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Jay Leno Sucks, No One Likes Him

You should've called it quits Jay.

The old saying goes, “lead with your best foot forward”.  This is equally true when you’re starting out a “new” late night show.  Conan O’Brien did this in June of 2009 when he started ‘The Tonight Show’ on NBC.  A sample of the guests Conan booked for his first 2 weeks looks like this(in order of appearance):

Will Ferrell, Pearl Jam, Tom Hanks, Green Day, Gwyneth Paltrow, John Mayer, Patton Oswalt, Eddie Murphy, Bonnie Raitt & Taj Mahal, Rancid, Norm MacDonald, Jim Gaffigan, Neko Case, Jamie Foxx, and Kevin Nealon

That’s 15 fairly large names and a considerable group of talent, hard to argue otherwise.  Now, let’s take a look at a sample of Leno’s scheduled first two weeks(in order of appearance):

Jamie Foxx, Lindsey Vonn, Brad Paisley, Sarah Palin, Shaun White, Cast of Jersey Shore, Apolo Ohno, Avril Lavigne, Matthew McConaughey, Morgan Freeman, Simon Cowell, Animal Expert Dave Salmoni, Joan Jett, Guy Fieri, and Dana Carvey

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5 Reasons You Should be Watching the Winter Olympics

I’ve heard a lot of talk and I’ve seen a lot of chatter(ahem, twitter) about the winter Olympics being too boring.  I’ve heard they’re not as fun as the summer, so therefore not worthy of being watched.  I have actually found the opposite to be true.  I’ve found myself watching these winter Olympics just as much, if not more than the summer games.  True, the summer Olympics being in China and that crazy time zone really hurt my viewership(I really hate watching tape delayed sports).  Also true, with the winter games being in Vancouver and the western time zone I can watch more with events being spread out over NBC, USA, and CNBC.  But that’s not all of it.

I find these games to be quite fun to watch.  Every time I turn it on, I find an appealing story to go along with the athletes competing.  I feel the athletes more or less represent the amateur spirit of what an olympic competitor should be.  Sure hockey has it’s fair share of NHL athletes just as basketball had in the NBA, difference is the NBA sucks and the NHL does not, so there.  I wasn’t looking forward to these games, but now that they’re here, I’m hooked.

However, if you’re not hooked, keep reading as I give you 5 reasons you should be.

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