Frumpzilla

Jogger Killed by Plane, #16 Seeds Receive Hope

Robert Gary Jones of Woodstock, Ga. was listening to his iPod and jogging in Hilton Head, SC when a small plane, attempting an emergency landing, landed on top of him killing him instantly.  We at Frumpzilla feel like there may be a case against Apple or heck even Sony regarding this situation.  If Sony and their blasted Walkman hadn’t revolutionized the way we run to music, Robert Gary Jones may still be with us.

My favorite part(read: saddest favorite part) about this story is that the pilot was asked for a comment, which he declined but instead said, “I’ve got a lot of issues going on right now. I’ve got a plane that’s all torn up. And I’ve got a young man that I killed”.  This jerk just landed on top of some poor guy and he’s initially worried about replacing his rudder.(there are rudders on planes right?)

What does this have to do with 16 seeds in the NCAA tournament you may ask?  Well, you can’t tell me there are better odds of a plane landing on you while jogging on the beach than there are of a #16 seed knocking off a #1.  True, no #16 has ever beaten a #1 but (more…)

Frump Day Links: 03-17-10

Larry David: “Pretty Good Chance” There’s 8th Season Of ‘Curb’. (Sharapova’s Thigh)

Looks like there’s another hottie in the Greenberg family…heartbreakers all around!(SportsByBrooks)

Luke Cothron decommits from NC State – Hopefully that means CJ Leslie is coming back home.(StateFansNation)

“Batman vs. Shark w/ Lightsaber” Need we say more? (Tasty Booze)

You don’t have to be a lesbian to like lesbian stuff(warning: no nudity) (Prose and Cons)

So seriously, is the chatroulette piano guy Ben Folds? or Jemaine Clement? or neither? or both….?(yes, I know I linked a dump in our dump)(Holy Taco)

It’s official, Michael Jordan owns the Bobcats. Probably paid a 20 grand at least! (No Guts, No Glory)

Jeremiah Masoli is bad at stealing. (Rumors and Rants)

Dennis Horner just wants to keep playing bball apparently…wills NC State past USF in the NIT (yet another…N.C. State Sports Blog)

I always kinda liked that bitch Kristin Cavallari, don’t know why (Sharapova’s Thigh)

HAPPY ST PATTY’S DAY – SAY YEAH!!

James Brown’s body may have harbored even more soul than previously thought

LaRhonda Pettit, the Godfather of Soul’s illegitimate daughter, presumably broke out in a cold sweat over the news that her father’s body has apparently gotten up off that crypt that was housing his body in South Carolina and is now, thusly, out of sight.  It’s true, James Brown’s body is missing, and, given the controversy regarding the circumstances surrounding his death, I’ve got the feeling  that this could turn out to be a super bad situation.

Upon Brown’s passing back in 2006, initial reports suggested it was the drugs, alcohol and painkillers the hardest working man in show business was doing to death that brought about his demise at the tender age of 73.  Ms. Pettit, however, believed there was foul play, but her requests for an autopsy have been repeatedly denied.  In light of this, LaRhonda now thinks her father’s body is being hidden to ensure a full post-mortem examination is never performed, sparing any alleged perpetrators the big payback that would surely await them once discovered.

Of course, strange things happen, and there’s certainly a chance, however slim, that Brown may be back up on the good foot, living in America and making it funky in ways never thought possible.  In that case, who knows, perhaps Brown will be delivering the payback himself.  Either way, this bizarre story is sure to leave many feeling bewildered.

Source: The Daily Mail (The Admiral with the link and shoop)

Safe for work porn ironically still NSFW

The staff at Frumpzilla is constantly striving to bring you the funny….along the way, we occasionally run into things that we deem too (seriously, the following link is very vulgar)  vulgar, crass or just overall inappropriate for our feel-good website.  Those things are usually cast aside to the depths of Frumpville, never to return.  However, after making that initial decision, sometimes we are re-inspired (thank you Claw) and we re-visit the idea, say screw it, and post the content anyway.

We present, SFW porn.  Frump it for the youtube – safe video and some marginally safe pictures…

Happy Friday

those space invaders have no chance!

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What else is The Potty Dance teaching our kids?

Hey, if you haven’t heard of The Potty Dance yet, wake up and join modern society, okay? This thing may or may not be sweeping the nation as you read (at least amongst those with kids that have yet to master the complex intricacies associated with socially acceptable urination and bowel movements), and we certainly don’t want you experiencing that awkward exchange in line at Starbucks when one of your friends from yoga class randomly brings up how “Lil Matt” was doing the “Poo-Poo Dance” the other night (reputations get hurt that way).

The problem is, despite how fantastic this thing is (and it really is fantastic, isn’t it?), there’s still a subtle, yet quite troubling undercurrent present in it all (which we highlight after the jump (and it actually has nothing to do with those creepy firemen))

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Frump Day Links: 3-10-2010

Just what we need, more “U” fans… (No Guts, No Glory)

A comprehensive look at U.S. Soccer’s injury woes leading up to the World Cup (Rumors and Rants)

Is Tiger really any worse than Ali? (Sports by Brooks)

ADP and LT2 in the same backfield?  It’s a possibility (NFL News & Rumors)

Shay “Ave” Maria has something(s) to show you (Holy Taco)

Michael Jordan is soliciting landscaping advice? (Busted Coverage)

Is Robert DeNiro taking on the role of Vince Lombardi a good thing (Tirico Suave)

An interesting look at the “myth” of the regular season conference championship (Yet Another N.C. State Sports Blog)

A grouchy Oscars recap (Prose & Cons)

Leighton Meester shows off her thighs (Sharapova’s Thigh)

“Milk-a-what?!?!?!”

“Actress”, “Model”, and all-around “classy” gal Lindsay Lohan is back in the news today.  My guess is, reality finally struck Ms. Lohan and she realized no one was willing to pay her anymore for doing absolutely nothing.  So naturally, she’s moved on to the next easiest way to never work a day in her life, a lawsuit.  Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million claiming they modeled a character in their latest commercial after her.

The New York Post says: (more…)

Things God may or may not have written on his or her hand…

Hey, as a disclaimer, we here at Frumpzilla don’t claim to know a whole buttload of crap about the Gospels, or God, or whatever, and if we do have an area of expertise (debatable), it’s certainly not theology.  That said, when faced with frumping about topics we happen to be particularly ignorant about, we feel it’s wiser to turn to an authority; someone intimately associated with the subject. In this case, Sarah Palin.

As I’m sure most of you know by now, Sarah Palin likes to write little reminders on her hand(s). She even references them during speeches and stuff. Sarah’s tried to make light of this, of course, and, to be fair, I’ve really never felt it was that big of a deal…until now.

A few days ago, Palin, apparently still a little self conscious about her hand notes, attempted to further rationalize the practice by citing the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 49, verse 16 which reads (in pertinent part):

Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands

Long story short, the Bible says God wrote on “his”  hand to help “him” remember things, which Sarah Palin has confirmed for us, and therefore Palin and her manual reminders are in good company.

Needless to say, I’m satisfied.  But what else might God, in his or her* infinite wisdom, have needed a handy little note to remind him or her to do?  Just about the entire Frumpzilla staff offers some suggestions for you (in no particular order) after the jump.  We’d love to hear some from you as well…

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How to get knocked the F out

nighty night!

This is how you lose a kickboxing match.  I love the pause when his arms go completely limp by his side so his face is the only thing able to break his fall.

(found on TWW)

Spencer Pratt Bobblehead Night for Hurricanes

Actually…it’s Eric Staal bobblehead night at the RBC Center in Raleigh, NC tonight as the Carolina Hurricanes take on the Ottawa Senators. To me however, this looks a bit more like Spencer “King of all things Douche” Pratt(although I’m told looks more like Staal in person).  Staal is of course deserving of a bobblehead in his honor as he is the Canes’ captain, led them to a Stanley Cup championship, and just won a gold medal playing for his home country of Canada.  Pratt, not so much.

There are other reasons to head out to the RBC tonight if you’re in Raleigh and looking for something to do.  For one, you can check these out.  The Hurricanes just happen to have players who played for Finland(bronze), USA(silver), and Canada(gold) in the quite popular Olympic hockey tournament.  Those medals will be on display and you can even have your picture taken with them.

Secondly, the Hurricanes team taking the ice tonight will be just a bit different than the one from a couple days ago.  The Canes were quite busy before yesterday’s NHL trade deadline and in the process positioned itself for a strong future push.  Below, is breakdown of the action.

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It’s lewd, vesivius, salacious, outrageous!

niiiiice

 New Jersey soccer Mom (probably) is offended by nude snowman, calls the police, forces creator to “dress it”

 You can just picture some easily offended PC-minded bed-wetter driving by this house, with her 2 1/2 snot-nosed rug rats packed in their ‘04 Dodge Caravan, who had just enough of a hissy to actually call the police about a snowman.   

This person is the same person who complains after seeing a bare ass on network TV at 10:30 at night…or a tit pop during the Super Bowl…the person who generally believes the world should conform to the fact that she has kids.  She has no time, nor the instincts of personal responsibility, to explain to her ankle-biters the things in the world.  Rather, she chooses to shield them from anything remotely provactive and deprive the rest of us of spontaneous comedy.

Very annoying.  Its just snow T & A.

Man survives three-week erection, may regret living to tell about it…

It’s true. A 55 year-old man saved himself, and his penis (to a degree), finally seeking emergency medical treatment after managing to go three straight weeks on the up and up.   In light of the many practical inconveniences posed by Priapism, how he was able to pull off this stiff task remains unclear.

Adding insult to injury, this was an unavoidable, all-natural arousal, too. Our hapless victim hadn’t even taken any “enhancement” drugs. Rather, his condition was triggered by some rare “nervous disorder.” Seriously.

To make matters worse, and in a stroke of truly bitter sweet irony, despite emergency surgery saving him and his member, this little episode has rendered the poor bastard impotent. So now, though apparently having the mojo to keep it up for a fortnight or more, he’ll have to pop a little blue pill or two if he wants some action. What a world, what a world…

Source: Metro.  Dbj with the link

Frump Day Links: F**k You, March, Edition

Ah, yes.  Frump day.  A time to give a little something back.  Spread the love, Frumpsters.  Spread it think and thin…

F*ck you, March! (Prose & Cons)

Lane Kiffin just knows the Vols were heading for glory. (No Guts, No Glory)

Kiffin also likes to keep it in the family. (Buster Sports)

Hasheem Thabeet.  He’s…he’s not very good. (Bootlegger Sports)

A nice Bucket List for fans of N.C. State football. (Dave from Carter-Finley)

Elmo teaches you how to sneeze (Sharapova’s Thigh)

It’s Bubble Batty time leading up to March Madness (The Big Lead)

Frumpzilla’s answer to the Israel-Palestine conflict: Let Sivan Krispin handle the negotiations (Holy Taco)

Statefansnation’s exclusive interview with the one and only Lee_Folwer (Statefansnation)

Oh, and again…f*ck you, March! (Prose & Cons)

5 Curious Questions About the Winter Olympics

The 2010 Winter Olympics may finally be over, but confusion remains rampant. Well, I’m still a bit confused, at least, but then I’ve never paid as close attention to the Winter Games as I did this year. Still, if you make the jump with us, we’re confident you’ll agree that there’s at least a handful of head scratching worthy, unanswered questions…

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