Frumpzilla

Glory Holes Rampant on LSU’s Campus

As if LSU officials, staff and faithful didn’t have enough on their hands with preparing for this weekend’s college football opener against the North Carolina Tar Heels, it now appears that combating the blight of “Glory Holes” has been added to the University’s agenda.

Glory Holes — as defined in an article in LSU’s Daily Reveille — are holes “carved in the partitions of bathroom stalls, [and] are typically used for anonymous oral sex between men who insert their genitals into the hole.” LSU custodial engineers have apparently battled this “recurring problem” by placing steel plates over the holes. Nevertheless, some students keeping plugging away, going as far as alerting certain internet based communities — such as “CrusingForSex.com” — when counter efforts have led to a hole becoming “active” again.

Now, while it may not be particularly surprising that a problem like this exists on a college campus in a town that literally translates as “Red Stick,” one has to think this serves as quite a distraction. Hard to imagine what it must be like to grace the community thrown in one’s dormitory, only to be greeted by one or more, 2 to 3 inch, holes staring back at them on either side of the stall. Having to wonder what ominous presence may be lurking on the other side only exacerbates things, of course. It’s frightful, to say the least.

Of course, given LSU’s affinity for corn dogs, perhaps these glory holes are simply some ritualistic vehicle for transfer; a means for like-minded fans to share another common interest and passion during one of life’s more intimate routine moments.

Either way, as the Tigers prepare for an entirely different type of problem “Hole” in Atlanta on Saturday, I suppose we can only hope that the Glory Hole issue doesn’t raise its ugly head in any of the Georgia Dome’s stalls.

She Got Knocked the F@#k Out!

What’s up Frumpsters? I know, I know. I’ve been out of the game for awhile, but I was trying to pass a tough exam that will hopefully land me a job that pays me more than the 32 cents/day I make from writing here occasionally. However, I am coming back at ya like a punch to the face! Literally.

As you can see to the left, this cop is landing a strong right hook on the face of what turns out to be a 17-year old girl. Just by looking at the picture, what would you imagine the circumstances to be that led to such a fierce blow to be reigned down upon her?

• A.) She was wielding a knife, threatened the lives of the innocent and obviously resisted arrest.
• B.) She was caught Jaywalking and resisted arrest.
• C.) She was on PCP, drunk, belligerent and resisted arrest.

For a thrilling video, we’d of course hope for the trifecta here, but you may be surprised to find out it was only choice B. To the cops defense, there were a couple girls fighting against him and his department seems to back his actions. I do agree that, no matter if you’re a man or a woman, if you resist arrest or try to fight any cop, you should expect an unfavorable outcome for yourself. That being said, seriously pal, you can’t handle this situation any better?

Video of the whole thing, reactions/aftermath and a link to the article after the frump.

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The Bay City Rollers Invade a Nursing Home, Provide Perhaps Final Spark to the Twilight of Life

You know, I’ve always been a little weirded out by nursing homes. There’s just something gut wrenching about the concept of a repository for old people; typically sad and/or confused old people just waiting to die. Tragic, really.

Now, of course, I understand that care requirements often necessitate residency in one of these repositories where sad, confused old people go to die, and that’s all good and fine. I guess I just wish it didn’t have to be that way.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I mean, I’ll definitely be shipping my folks off to one the first chance I get; whenever I can get them declared incompetent, or something (despite their claims to the contrary, I fully suspect my parents never check/read Frumpzilla, so I guess consider that “joke” a test).

I just hope by that time the entertainment packages have evolved beyond that of bingo and knitting classes. Something a bit more upbeat and fun loving, you know? Like, say, The Bay City Rollers performing their #1 hit single from 1975, “Saturday Night.” Oh, the humanity!

Thanks to T-Rex for the video…

Jam of the Wednesday: David Lee Roth’s isolated vocal track from “Runnin’ With the Devil”

Little known fact: Assuming the volume is loud enough in my car, I may or may not be the greatest amateur vocalist on the planet. It’s true. I mean, it must be, because — as far as I can tell — I’m always in key, and rarely, if ever, miss a note.

Now, I probably won’t ever take these pipes on the road, but then I’m more of a studio artist, I think. Studios and cars (with the volume on 11). Besides, putting together a group of top notch musicians is so hard these days, and, based on my mobile/automotive performances, I’m pretty sure a songbird such as myself needs a worthy complement of musical accompaniment. As you’ll soon see below, I’m obviously not the only one.

This is an oldie — in more ways than one — but a goodie nonetheless, and really serves as a shining example of just how important that aforementioned musical accompaniment can be. And to be clear, I’m not necessarily singling out David Lee Roth for ridicule here; he just happens to be readily accessible. In fact, I’m sure an overwhelming majority of the “great” voices in popular music would fare similarly if put to such a test. If nothing else, I think this phenomenon offers quite a bit of insight into why a cappella isn’t a more popular musical form….

Rick K’s drummer pounds skin better than a Thai masseuse…

And he apparently is an “Allnighter,” too. Okay, okay…so I know this isn’t necessarily fresh, but I’ve been without consistent internetz access for over a week now (due to moving), and I just need to get that frumping feeling back.

You know, I had pretty much resigned myself to the belief that this was easily the most epic display of skins dominance in recent memory. Needless to say, I now stand corrected.

This guy just demands respect, Frumpsters. Or perhaps ridicule. Possibly both. Either way, he’s pretty dang awesome. How Rick K managed to secure his services as one of the “Allnighters” is beyond me (check out another performance after the jump).

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The Dating Site “Establishedmen.com” Rules the World in Subtlety

Stay classy Miami Living magazine.

Teen Wolf minus the chest, possibly pubic hair

Teen angst: Possibly the most illogical force mankind has ever known. The fear. The loathing. The inability to compensate for it all by going on an epic Las Vegas binge without risking a significant spell in Juvie Hall. I thought I’d seen it all until this: kids attaching raccoon tails to their asses and calling themselves “The Wolfpack.”

It’s not, like, some kind of “cool” wolfpack either. Like, maybe one you’d see referenced in The Hangover, or something. It’s this, what you’ll soon see below.

There’s actually quite a lot going on here. Let’s see, there’s the newscasters’ presentation, which, of course, lends way too much credence to the ridiculousness of this story; the choice commentary (at 1:24) from possibly the most stereotypical guidance counselor in existence; the alleged murder of family pets…I mean, it’s just a really well put together piece.

My favorite part, though, has to be the interview with the supportive, yet grounded, mom; her cub standing not less than 7 feet away, in passive defiance (about 3:18). I so wanted “Lupus” to let out — via primal scream — what he surely must have been feeling inside: “F*CK YOU, MOM! YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND ME!”

Ahhhh. Kids these days…

Thanks to Dbj for the link and some inspiration…

Meet Wenlock and Mandeville: 2012 London Olympic mascots

London unveiled their Olympic mascots yesterday. That’s really all I should have to write and you could infer the rest by simply staring at the picture. However, that’s not the effort that earns me 20 dollars every 3 months from this site so I SHALL PUSH ON!!!

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Freaky Sexy World Records

Jonah Falcon, proud record holder

Another gem found on the WolfWeb is this blog “the frisky” listing the 13 Freakishly Sexy World Records

Records include “worlds strongest vagina”, “worlds biggest orgy” and most orgasms in one sitting

Frump it for some tasty tidbits to amaze your friends and try to beat yourself!

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Little Girls Dancing to Single Ladies = WTF?

Folks have sent us several different clips of people dancing to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”. I guess such things are trending right now, or something.

There’s been “fat girls,” “gay guy,” “college chicks.” You know, the usual suspects for this kind of stuff. Well, this most recent submission takes the cake, and by “takes the cake” I mean truly creeps me the hell out.

Seriously, I’m not some wholesome, up tight, moralistic prude or anything — far from it, actually — but just what the f*ck are people thinking these days? Isn’t this basically just a burlesque show of 10 and under girls? Dancing to a song about jaded, single women (For real, screw him liking it and putting a ring on it; if you were really over “it”, you wouldn’t need to champion a song like this)?

Were there lots of guys in dark sunglasses and trench coats in the back row? Perhaps someone in a bear costume? Jeeze…

Thanks to Dbj for the tip.

Redneck Ferris Wheel leaves us with so many unanswered questions…

In today’s Kissed with Apocalypse story, Frump brings you this video of a self proclaimed “Redneck Ferris Wheel.” The title alone hooks you, doesn’t it? We’re not really sure what prompted this, or why someone would be inspired to archive video footage of it — at least in this context — but we’re absolutely certain it deserves a big ole “WTF?”.

Let’s see: Pants off; sitting on the toilet; kid in a laundry basket; mom, presumably, on camera duty…I mean, there’s just so much going on here. I’m perhaps most perplexed by the fact that the Ferris wheel operator seems to be sitting on the toilet while the seat it up. Who the hell does that? Utterly fascinating…

Thanks to Dbj for the tip…

DJ Felli Fel’s “I Wanna Get Drunk” gives ICP’s “Miracles” a serious run for its money

For worst song of the year, I mean. It doesn’t get much more ridiculous than this, Frumpsters. Sampling is the norm these days, of course — sad as that is — but taking Van Halen’s “Jump” and turning it into “I Wanna Get Drunk” has Kissed with Apocalypse written all over it.

How much in the red is Mr. Felli Fel gonna be after paying the licensing costs for this? My money’s still on “Miracles” as far as hilarity is concerned, but this is close. There’s some explicit, NSFW lyrics in here, so if you’re at work, make sure you’ve got your cans ready…

Thanks to The Admiral for the tip. Also, these seem to keep getting nuked by Warner Brothers, so I’ll try to find new ones as often as I can

Lord Jesus Christ is hit by a car while leading the NFL in jersey sales

MIRACULOUS.

A man, Lord Jesus Christ, aka Lord Jesus Christ, suffered minor injuries while walking down a Northampton street on Tuesday….cheating death as 200o pounds of of hurtling steel and flammable liquids hurtled towards Christ as he crossed on a crosswalk.

At the same time, Lord Jesus Christ, aka Timothy Tebow, leads the NFL in jersey sales only a few short weeks into his NFL career.  Tebow’s brand bested such tried All-Pro, NFL warriors like Donovan McNabb, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning and Brett Farve as a third-string situational, developmental QB.

In we trust.  Hallelujah!!

Don’t Tase’ Me Bro!!!

Last night, a 17 year old fan was tasered by the police after running onto the field at a Philadelphia Phillies game. This is not a new thing. Not the running onto the field and unfortunately not the tasering. I personally feel this tasering technique is getting a bit out of control. I absolutely see it’s worth in certain situations where the police or other people are in danger. But, on a 17 year old in an open field being chased by at least 5 people?!? C’mon.

If those 5 grown people couldn’t catch this kid, he should’ve been allowed to run around on the field all game long. It would add an interesting aspect to the game of baseball. Amateur video of this tasering is below the frump along with some other quite famous(unnecessary) uses of the taser gun, one of which is very NSFW fyi.

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The Miracle of Evolution?

According to The Sun, British boobs are growing at a rapid pace.  You know it is getting bad when the former “big dog”, a bra called “The Windsock” (a K cup size), is no longer big enough for the largest Brit busts.  To counter the problem, the Bravissimo Chain and Debenhams (a department store I guess) has introduced the KK Cup for the suffering, squashed and stuffed ladies of the UK.

For a little perspective on how big the KK bra is, EACH cup is 10 inches wide…the diameter of most dinner plates.

Experts evidently blame pollution and hormones (The Chese blames McDonalds, but that is perhaps for another post) and believe that it wont be long until a LL will be necessary.

Cheerio!