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Video: Cannonball into frozen pool not quite the ice breaker this “Ice Dude” was looking for…

October 17, 2012

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Frump has featured a lot of Russian kids doing weird and wild stuff over the years. With that in mind, I guess it’s only fair that we show some German adults pulling sufficiently similar stunts.

I think that’s German anyway. Does anyone know what “Oooh, ahhhh. Ooooh, ein ass!” means in English? All I caught was a couple of F-Bombs and something about David Hasselhoff. Then again, I guess we don’t really need a translator to understand what’s going on here, do we? Lolsome.

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Meteorologist Mishap #127: “John” is Expanding

October 15, 2012

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Don’t let the “127″ up there fool you — Frump hasn’t done a series on these classics or anything, though there might be one or two out there. 127 is just a rough estimate of how much sufficiently similar, legitimately lol-worthy stuff is likely out there on the interwebs. Indeed, a testament to the many pitfalls of being a weatherman.

You just have to be on a heightened state of alert in that profession, but most meteorologists know this. Most have seen enough dong-shaped animated graphics flying around behind them to know you don’t pull out the emphatic pelvic thrust maneuver all willy-nilly — not least when discussing the expansion of a tropical storm named “John.” Most know that.

Others, like our friend Dan up there, occasionally get caught with their pants down, exposed on YouTube and the like, but it’s all part of the learning process, I suppose.

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G-Spirits: Liquor bottled and sold only after being poured over the breasts of a “special woman”

October 5, 2012

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Question of the day, Frumpsters: Would you buy liquor that’s been bottled only after it was poured, erotically, over the rigid, rubbery breasts of an allegedly beautiful woman? Branded and brought to you by those two guys up there?

We’ll let you answer that on your own, free of judgement. Don’t be shy, though. It’s not like you’re buying a vial of vaginal scent for your on the go smelling pleasure, right?  You’ve certainly spent your hard-earned cash on more ridiculous novelty items, haven’t you? If so, then G-Spirits might just become your liquor of choice… [WARNING: G-Spirits website, while entertaining, is not the slightest bit safe for work]

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Video: University of Tennessee “Butt Chugger” Denies Butt Chugging Incident, Threatens Legal Action

October 2, 2012

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On September 21st, 2012 a University of Tennessee student, and Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity member, was hospitalized in an alcohol-related incident. Not exactly headline news, despite the blood-alcohol content of well over 0.40 reported by the media. Well, not headline news if not for the captivating two-word term that, according to Mr. Alexander “Xander” Broughton’s legal counsel, is now sweeping the nation, and possibly the world.

I’m talking, of course, about “butt chugging” — fraternally defined as the act of sticking rubber tubing up one’s ass and letting the beer, wine, and/or liquor flow (into said ass).

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Your Pictorial Guide to Strange and Fascinating Facts About American Presidential History

September 26, 2012

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With the Presidential election just around the corner, we thought it might be a good time to review our great nation’s rich and fascinating Presidential history. Especially the bits our public school system so glaringly omits.

Now, we obviously couldn’t care less who you vote for when you hit the polls come November – that’s a private and personal decision that you’ll have to reach on your own. We’re not here to persuade you one way or the other,  but we do think you should at least be armed with the knowledge necessary to give the voting process for the United States’ highest public office the respect it deserves.

For instance, learning that President Obama’s “Change” platform was actually a direct reference to, and namesake of,  his trusty crossbow may very well swing some votes away from the Romney-Ryan ticket, but that’s not our goal. We only wish to bring such frivolities to the forefront; how you use it, whether at your next pub-trivia night or when asking a question at one of the Presidential Debates, is up to you.

That said, come with us after the jump to learn some trivial, yet fascinating, facts about some of this country’s greatest political leaders…

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Pic of the Day – 9/25/2012: Thank God this Son of a Bitch is off the streets…

September 25, 2012

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It may be a tad early to crown this as Frump’s Pic of the Day, but it’s never too early to let our loyal readers — all 17 of them — know that they can sleep a bit easier tonight.

Violent, Fluggy dog rapist found

 

H/T to DBJ. Frump’s resident Facebooking crime stopper

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Former Miami Hurricane football player Dan Sileo is slightly concerned about the state of Miami football

September 13, 2012

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In case you missed it, Miami took a pretty epic beating at the hands of Kansas State last weekend. What was supposed to be a fairly competitive game saw the Canes pummeled 52-13 in Manhattan, and — while I haven’t spoken to any personally — I’m sure such a result left many Miami fans wondering just how long it might be until their beloved program gets back to its rightful place amongst college football’s elite.

One such fan, and former Hurricane defensive tackle in fact, is Mr. Dan Sileo. Sileo actually began his playing days at Maryland in 1983, where he apparently broke the school’s bench press record previously held by NFL Hall of Famer Randy White. Not surprised.

Shortly thereafter, however, Sileo was kicked off the team after allegedly tossing a fellow student off the first-floor balcony of his dorm. I’m sure no one questioned Sileo’s passion, though.

Not willing to let his people tossing skills go to waste, Sileo soon made his way down to Coral Gables in 1984, but only after a summer tour with the Bridgeport, Connecticut chapter of the Hell’s Angels (seriously, all this is on his Wikipedia page, so you know it’s true).

Once with the Hurricanes, Sileo managed to keep his scholarship long enough to become part of what Sports Illustrated voted “The Most Hated Team of All Time”. After one year with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, however, Sileo left people tossing behind and eventually found his true calling as a radio host for 560 WQAM, a Miami-based sports radio outlet.

Needless to say, the passion is still there. The sanity, of course, remains in question. After all, it’s not everyday one hears kicks to the groin and/or eye gouging offered as motivational advice to college football players. But hey, it’s all just fun and games when confined to the epic meltdown of a man that still holds the title of strongest man in Miami Hurricanes football history, right?

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Because everyone loves a good (asshole) cat video…

August 24, 2012

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Well, it’s Friday, and it’s been a long time since we’ve posted anything. And, sometimes it’s just good to let ‘ol Googlebot know you’re still around.

This isn’t the first time we’ve featured cats being assholes here on Frumpzilla, but it’s certainly one of the best examples we’ve come across as of late. Sure, an apologist might describe domesticated felines as “independent,” “proud,” and “sly,” but the more level headed among us — i.e. “dog people” — understand that that’s simply a nice way of framing their true nature as smug, guile assholes that would scratch your heart out for just a whiff of Nepeta cataria.

If you still have doubts, watch the above video again. I mean, if they’ll do that to their own kind, what could they possibly be thinking as they’re curled up next to you, waiting for their “master” to fall asleep at night? Just sayin’, don’t say Frump didn’t warn you…

Thanks to DBJ for being an asshole…cat lover

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Bull Shark Causes Ape Sh*t Reaction in Myrtle Beach Inter-Coastal Waterway

July 11, 2012

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I stopped swimming in inter-coastal waterways a long time ago. Not because of bull sharks, mind you. They never really crossed my mind. More of a general fear of the unknown…and dirt. Maybe gar, or gators, or something else that probably poses no real threat to me, but not bull sharks. Until now.

The bull shark above, hooked off a residential dock in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina’s inter-coastal waterway, was supposedly a 6 to 7 footer. It was also eating a 5 pound red drum. Given the priceless reaction of the anglers, I think it’s safe to say that folks down in Myrtle Beach don’t typically encounter such beasts in those waters, and I imagine they’re somewhat grateful for that — though probably not as grateful as they apparently were to have caught it all on camera.

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Move Over ‘Velvet Fog’, There’s a New Golden Voice in Town

December 20, 2011

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Man, it’s been awhile since I’ve frumped. In fact, it was going to be my new year’s resolution to remember my login and get back into this. However, every once in awhile, something comes along that makes you want to be a better person. It makes you want to smash the goals you’ve laid out for yourself and set the bar even higher. My something came this morning, when the above video arrived in my inbox.

I’ve done the Google research, and Will Forte does not have a new a movie coming out where releasing a viral video would help boost attendance. So, this thing is legit. I’m not sure what show it is, but that doesn’t matter as I’ll never watch it. How could they top this? My favorite part are the looks on the impressionable youth in the audience. This kid in particular may be our new Twitter avatar for the foreseeable future.

Enjoy the video as well as the ‘Re-dub’ which is just as enjoyable after the Frump.
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(Classic) Pic of the Day: As if we needed another reminder that the U.S. is painfully lagging behind the Far East…

October 13, 2011

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The superiority of Asian technology is embodied in how they shrink their cunts

It started with widening the gap in education and scholastic aptitude in general. Then virtually insurmountable innovations in consumer electronics. Next came the complete and utter domination of the automobile industry, just prior to unveiling perhaps the most significant strides in genetic engineering to date.

Now, they’re shrinking vaginas and killing spermatozooms in one fell, over-the-counter swoop.  Do you even know know what spermatozooms are? I sure as hell don’t. But they do.

Time to awake up, America. Time to wake up, stop bitching about a 10% unemployment rate and ludicrously large national debt, and smell the lurbri cate the Far East is using to f*ck you in the ass. I mean, we’ve been trying to eradicate HIV/AIDS for what now, 30-plus years? They’re packaging the cure and placing it in a conspicuous box on the shelf at a Shanghai CVS.

Listen, we may never make the most reliable cars again, or the HDTV with the deepest blacks and best contrast ratio, but I’ll be damned if we’re gonna fall behind in the race to shrink c*nts.  Am I right?  Who’s with me?!? U-S-A! U-S-A!

Thanks to DBJ for the link to this oldie but goodie…

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Video: Tennessee’s Marching Band and Possibly the Worst Halftime Performance in College Football History

October 11, 2011

34 Comments

There wasn’t much to be particularly happy about on Rocky Top at the end the 1st half last Saturday evening. The Volunteers had played the Georgia Bulldogs to a somewhat pedestrian 6-6 stalemate heading into the locker room, but, nevertheless, there was still a lot of energy in the Knoxville night; still hope for the future and the second half of SEC football that lay ahead.

And then the band took the field.

Listen, we all know that halftime performances can be a bit drab, prompting the creative forces in charge to take risks; to think outside the box in an effort to keep butts in the bleachers and — if nothing else — help curb America’s growing obesity problem. Having said that, there is never a reasonable excuse for the liberties taken at Neyland Stadium over the weekend. Never a rational reason to subject 100,000+ rabid football fans to a Tennessee-themed reworking of Victor Fleming’s 1939 fantasy musical classic, The Wizard of Oz.

That’s right, Volunteer fans watched in captive horror as their “Pride of the Southland” marching band conducted a dialogue-rich reenactment of Dorothy and her dog “Smokey’s” trip down the “Checkerboard Road” in search of a way back to Rocky Top. Replete with embarrassingly lame jokes about Alabama, Kentucky, South Carolina, and even the evening’s guest in the form of the “Wicked Witch of Georgia,” I think they may have even thrown in a still incomprehensible jab at Texas A&M (around the 6:15 mark).

Out of bounds, Vols. Out. Of. Bounds.

Pat Summit

Pat Summit, cast as the Good Witch, has every right to be upset

But wait, there’s more. Obviously not content with embarrassing merely themselves, someone in Tennessee’s music department decided that legendary Lady Vols basketball coach Pat Summit should be cast as the Good Witch (and the basketball team as the munchkins, apparently). Indeed, Coach Summit was even tasked with asking Neyland’s capacity crowd to click their heels three times and say “There’s no place like Rocky Top” (I’m not making that up; see around 7:00).

By now, of course, the Tennessee crowd was becoming cannibalistic. The kindest of Georgia fans probably offered their condolences, but most knew the damage was irreparable (and delighted in that fact). The positive energy had been sucked out of Neyland as quickly and as violently as Dorothy had been sucked into Oz.

With the home crowd still reeling from the ten minutes of halftime hell they’d just sat through, any home field advantage was now lost. Tennessee would go on to lose 20-12, gaining just 33 yards in the 2nd half, and in game that saw Georgia’s defense hold the Volunteers to -20 rushing yards for the entire contest. It may very well be only the second time in college football history where a marching band has played a pivotal role in the outcome of a game.

Leave the novel reinterpretations of The Wizard of Oz to bored Pink Floyd fans, okay, Vols?

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Alabama Greeks may have just put the final nail in the coffin of sorority recruiting videos…

August 16, 2011

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And I suppose we owe them some level of gratitude.

Now, I’m not sure how or why, but Frump apparently let this phenomenon pass it by. Yes, it seems over the past few years the student bodies of several esteemed academic institutions, including — but not limited to — Baylor, (somewhat esteemed) Florida State, and even Columbia Business School, have made numerous examples of relatively professional, marginally successful, and mildly bewildering YouTube recruitment videos.

Of course, as you see, none of them quite capture that particular, peculiar essence of “WTF” the way our Crimson Tide girls do up there.

Indeed, apparently not content nor wise enough to sit idly by in the midst of such endeavors, this panhellenic coalition of Greek forces at the University of Alabama made its very own “Going Greek” video, so to speak. Sadly, I’m not sure even Nick Saban — despite the blatant, pandering reference — could make this pitch a convincing one. I mean, “Friday,” was, like, so last week, ladies.

Thanks to the Admiral for “Going Greek” on this one.

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