Question of the day, Frumpsters: Would you buy liquor that’s been bottled only after it was poured, erotically, over the rigid, rubbery breasts of an allegedly beautiful woman? Branded and brought to you by those two guys up there?
First and foremost, let Frump make this clear: We don’t know if this picture is actually of Georgia’s Heisman Hopeful quarterback, and all around good guy, Aaron Murray. Moreover, we’re not claiming it is. We just know that a lot of folks are. And, of course, that just about anything is possible on Spring Break.
Assuming that is Murray with the epic “deer in headlights” look up there, the good news is that his most serious offense appears to be failing to use a coaster in such a classy establishment. That and maybe not locking the door.
Sure, one might question just what the hell that other dude is doing in the bed beside him, but Frump’s not here to pass judgement on anyone’s fetishes. Especially while on Spring Break.
I really didn’t want to post this video. By that, I mean, I really had to post this video. What you have here is something being awoken during the day that really should’ve stayed asleep. The mind really races when trying to figure out what events could possibly have led to this.
What if you were driving by in that (what looked like a)le baron?!? Why is this guy’s video only :42 seconds long?!? He owes it to humanity to stay on this longer. Man. NSFW vid after the frump. [...]
Here at Frumpzilla, we generally tend to shy away from “graphic” material. Even the relatively tame stuff, like scantily clad ladies, however beautiful they may be. It’s probably cost of 1,000′s of dollars in the past year alone.
Having said that, we do occasionally come across something that’s just so ridiculously bizarre (and graphic) that we feel we have no choice but to Frump it, whatever the consequences — especially considering it’s not necessarily your average, run-of-the-mill bikini pics you may find at 1,000′s of other sites throughout the blogosphere.
Take this video after the jump. Yeah, it’s probably NSFW (I guess). It’s also something that — despite my vast experience with subway systems — I’ve never seen, nor expected. And I’ve encountered a lot of WTF underground…
As if we didn’t already have enough to blame Germany for — David Hasselhoff, Rammstein, Hitler, etc. — now there’s Vulva: New, Irresistible Vaginal Scent.
That’s right, Vulva — with roll-on applicator. While I imagine this isn’t fresh news, I’m just now learning how easy it is to carry the vaginal scent of a beautiful woman along where ever life’s travels may take me.
Oh, and guys, it’s not a perfume. It’s not even cologne, or an eau de toilette. In fact:
It is the feminine, erotic, intimate scent for your own smelling pleasure. The NEW scent filled into an exclusive glass phial with a comfortable roll-on applicator with more content of that precious, organic substance.
Amazing. Capturing something like that in a bottle must have been a terribly taxing chore, no?:
Our greatest challenge was to preserve the intimate scent without altering the essences thereof. After many years of extensive testing and an especially developed preservation procedure, we have succeeded in capturing the sought-after organic vaginal scent with long lasting effect.
Breathtaking. So if it’s not a cologne, just what the hell am I supposed to do with it?
The phial is shaken gently, only a tiny amount of the slightly yellow, desirable substance is applied onto the back of the hand, and the irresistible smell that exudes from a sensuous vagina immediately intensifies your erotic fantasies and starts the film rolling in your head. Breath in and enjoy, anytime, anywhere, the intimate smell of an irresistible woman.
And what film might that be? A German one, I presume?
We don’t typically try to, I suppose, “question” musical ventures here at Frumpzilla. The art form is so subjective, you know — so deeply personal in nature for so many. Who is Frump, after all, to callously pass judgment on one’s passionate outpouring of acutely intimate creative expression?
That said, to be fair, I guess we may or may not have made some exceptions to this general rule in the past.
Anyway, notwithstanding the above confessions, it’s not necessarily our intent to disparage Benjamin Dukhan’s “Burger Girl” alter-ego here. Think of it more as a plea. A plea to, I guess, “understand” just what the hell he’s on about. Or even just on. Baby steps, you know…
Given his history, the world may never know for certain if Brett Favre will or will not retire, or change his mind about whatever decision he may or may not have made shortly thereafter.
But wouldn’t it be nice — wouldn’t it have been nice — if he asked the masses, sports fans, the people his actions affect the most for advice? You know, like our friend Lebron James did not so long ago?
I mean, things certainly couldn’t have gone much worse, right? Well, I’m not sure if Brett’s version would be this “penis-heavy,” but it probably should be.
All he had to do was ask, you know. Would of saved us all a lot of trouble.
Warning: If “penis” and “dick” are NSFW words where you earn your keep, then there’s some fairly NSFW language in the video
Frump’s talked a bit about generational warfare recently. There’s just a certain je nais sais quoi dividing today’s youth and the elders of generations past, you know? Something lost in translation, in values, or perhaps — in this case — Facebook wall messages.
Apparently this kid was “acting hard” on his Facebook, telling the world he was gonna “stomp [someone's] ass” for some unknown reason.
The shirtless uncle, now a hero of Frump’s, didn’t think too highly of this, and attributed such “gang banging” behavior to the pervasive, negative influence of that awful “Rap” music the kids seem to dig so much these days (video after the jump).
It is being reported that Brett Favre will be fined around $50,000 or possibly less for sending inappropriate pictures of himself(read: his penis) to Jenn Sterger while they both worked for the Jets. I’m not going to argue that Sterger has any journalistic integrity, you’ll see from the picture below she’s taken that away herself. I will, however, argue that it seemed she really wanted the NFL to take a stand on the issue of inappropriate behavior towards females in the workplace. She even refused to take a payoff from Favre and said she’d drop it as long as the league disciplined him.
Unfortunately, w/ Favre making at least $16 million this year, the reported $50k doesn’t really scream “discipline” to me. Let’s take a look at how this will really affect Favre in the ol’ pockets.
With a salary of $16 million, Favre got paid the following:
$73,732 a completion
$44,692 a pass attempt
$6,377 a yard passed
$1,454,545 a TD
$842,105 an interception
$727,272 each sack taken
$2,285,714 a fumble
$1,230,769 a game
$307,692 a quarter
and most importantly, $4,000,00 a win [...]
She’s pretty merciless about it, too. All that jiggling and bouncing up and down. Poor bull never stood a chance. Something to be proud of, really. Frump’s proud of her at least, but we digress.
Now, some might call this crass, maybe even perverted, but I choose to think of it as Frump’s first foray into bull riding. Nothing more, nothing less. Make the jump for the (mildly NSFW) video of this urban cowgirl…
There’s trying to expose yourself before a television audience, and then there’s trying to expose yourself before a television audience in Norway. Outdoors. In the middle of winter.
As you see, our little exhibitionist friend really wants Norwegian soccer fans to see his viking longship, and a clever cock block or two isn’t going to dampen his spirits. You know, I bet if he had to jump up and down just to get his tallywacker on the tele he’d do it (he does).
Perhaps most bizarre, however, is the reaction — or lack thereof — of the presenter, field reporter, and camera guy. Pretty sure if this had gone down in the U-S of A, we’d of been greeted with a test pattern rather quickly. They’re much more chill about things like this in Norway, apparently.
Now, in Sweden, we’d of probably gotten a full-on, Sergio Leone-esque close-up shot of the goods, but that’s neither here nor there…
Clint Steindl is one of only three returning starters for a St. Mary’s Gaels team that made a surprising Sweet Sixteen run last season.
Last night Clint scored a career high 22 points to lead the Gaels in a surprising victory over St. John’s — ruining Steve Lavin’s return to coaching in the process — and the West Coast Confernce champs will need more of the same from the 6’7″, sharpshooting Forward if they want to find similar success this year.
What Clint and St. Mary’s don’t need more of are near PR disasters similar to that pictured here. Seriously, if that hand is just a bit more to the her right, someone’s headed to Confession.
And, based on my days in Catholic school, that’s almost certainly going to result in a whole heap load of Hail Marys and Our Fathers; possibly even some corporal punishment…
Hey, Frump isn’t here to beat you over the head with just what is the good, the bad, and the very (very) ugly — that’s, for the most part, quite subjective, and left to you to decide. For yourself. No one else.
That’s America to Frump. That and the two videos that follow… (some NSFW language follows as well)