Frumpzilla

Everyone Loves the Crazy Ump: Here’s some tips on how to become one yourself!

So, The GingerHead Man contacted me today from Kuala Lumpur (he’s still on vacay).  Apparently, during his semi-daily perusal of Deadspin, he’d come across this fantastic video of “Norm the Umpire” breaking dozens of kids’ spirits — as any truly accomplished, melodramatic umpire should — on a weekly basis.

Well, this naturally gave rise to yet another discussion about my and The GingerHead Man’s lifelong ambition of one day becoming volunteer Little League umpires, and doing the exact same thing.  Only better.  That’s right, better.

Don’t get us wrong, Norm is pretty dang good, but he ain’t the best.  We open our case with what I like to call “The Macarena Master.”  Make the jump for several more…

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Mets’ Ike Davis has teammate’s full support.

I was watching sportscenter’s top 10 this morning and I did a slight double take. As you’ll notice above, The Mets’ Ike Davis made a catch while falling into his team’s dugout. You’ll also notice his teammate giving him caressing support on his way down. I guess the cup offers more than adequate grip for a catch of that magnitude, but I can’t help but think he held on a bit long(not to mention the slight squeeze or adjustment at the end).

Being as MLB is much like NBC with the Olympics, only all the time, you’ll find a crappy embedded video after the frump, as well as a link to the official HQ version.

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Apex High alum Landon Powell catches 19th perfect game in MLB history

Article on the game and Landon’s bond with pitcher Dallas Braden

Pitchers get too much credit for the no-hitters and perfect games…everyone knows that the REAL credit should go to the catcher.  Throwing a ball?  Please.  Anyone can do that.  Hell, they usually drag some celebrity stiff on the field before the game and let them do it a few times.  You notice they never have someone “catch” the first pitch that is not a professional.

Kidding aside, just a quick Frump shout out to my former Cougar teammate.  Pretty awesome.  Here is a quick link to Landon’s Wikipedia page and MLB stat page.

Don’t Tase’ Me Bro!!!

Last night, a 17 year old fan was tasered by the police after running onto the field at a Philadelphia Phillies game. This is not a new thing. Not the running onto the field and unfortunately not the tasering. I personally feel this tasering technique is getting a bit out of control. I absolutely see it’s worth in certain situations where the police or other people are in danger. But, on a 17 year old in an open field being chased by at least 5 people?!? C’mon.

If those 5 grown people couldn’t catch this kid, he should’ve been allowed to run around on the field all game long. It would add an interesting aspect to the game of baseball. Amateur video of this tasering is below the frump along with some other quite famous(unnecessary) uses of the taser gun, one of which is very NSFW fyi.

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Frump Day Links: 4/28/2010

Frumpzilla spreading the Hump Day love, one link at a time…

The Lions’ Zach Follet doing a little preseason shopping…for his opponents. (Busted Coverage)

Just when you thought Shannon Elizabeth had become as irrelevant as Tim Toone. (Holy Taco)

A growing issue in the world of sports: Premature celebration. It’s more common than you think. No, really. It is. (No Guts, No Glory)

Brewers’ catcher Greg Zaun doing his best Carl Lewis impression. (Sharapova’s Thigh)

Former Redskin, Mississippi State Bulldog, Fred Smoot is bringing the GingerHead Man’s favorite fine dining establishment, Waffle House, to Washington D.C. (Sparty And Friends)

Would you swap Lady Gaga tickets for a chance to see your favorite NBA team in the playoffs? (Sports By Brooks)

Pre-Preseason Hoops Power Rankings. (Statefansnation)

Leave it to MLS to supply you with the worst blown chance in soccer history? Sure (we’re actually big MLS fans, but ya got to play to the masses, right?). (Tasty Booze)

Two for one special! Dez Bryant’s mom isn’t a hooker (anymore), and JaMarcus Russell’s girth is about to cost him a seat on the Raiders’ team bus. And roster. (The Big Lead)

Even more on why everyone’s favorite AD, Lee Fowler, should get the axe. (Yet Another N.C. State Sports Blog)

Why go to the gym to check out chicks when you can do it from the comfort of your own home? (Total Pro Sports)

Hugo Chavez to join Twitter, Ozzie Guillen may or may not be concerned

Our most loyal readers already know that, while Frumpzilla brings you daily doses of Sports, Entertainment and Social Commentary from Unprofessional, Highly Irresponsible Sources, our ultimate goal is “thermonuclear, global media domination.” We may not know what that entails quite yet, or even what it means, but it sounds frumpin’ cool as hell. So, fingers crossed, I guess.

However, it now appears we may have a bit more competition. Hugo Chavez — Venezuelan President, former Bolivian revolutionary, all-around fun guy — has announced he’s joining Twitter, which probably catapults him immediately to the number two spot amongst prominent, Venezuelan related Twitter accounts, behind Ozzie Guillen, of course. Unfortunately for us, and Ozzie Guillen, it also appears Chavez is tweeting for keeps…

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Boob pops out at Braves game, men all over look just like these guys

Just goes to show…you always have to be on your toes.  You never know when a boob is going to show up…

Video and pics after the frump

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Scott Stapp Still a Musical Genius.

File this next one under “Way too good to be real, yet it is in fact, real”.  The Florida Marlins have forged a partnership with the former(or are they still together?) lead singer of the almighty “rock” group Creed, Scott Stapp.  This partnership includes work for charity, however we’ll ignore that for the purposes of this article as it focuses mainly on hating this guy because he’s awful.

What we WILL focus on is the new intro song Stapp recorded for the Marlins.  This is the best Stapp related happening since his 2005 visit to a Gainesville, FL Denny’s. How could you not be propelled to a World Series victory after being inspired by this song?

Below the Frump, the Dylan-esque lyrics(as I hear them) as well as last years Marlin’s intro offering from Pitbull, which reaffirms South Florida’s love for all things awful.
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Mindy McCready’s sex tape to ensure the hits just keep on coming for Roger Clemens

Hey, remember Mindy McCready? Former country star, former, potentially underage, mistress of one Roger “The Rocket” Clemens? If not, perhaps this will refresh your memory. Either way, thanks to Vivid Entertainment, the wonderful folks that brought you both the Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton sex tapes, you’ll now have a chance to get to know her better than you probably ever wanted to…

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No Use Crying Over Spilled…..Coco

From the outfield acrobatics to the fidgety, fidgety, fidgety fingers to the fists of fury, this Red Sox guy will miss you, Coco.  Even though you went through slumps that the little-league mouth-breathing moron in right field never encountered, I’ll miss you.  Even though Jacoby “I’m Going to Plow, Plow, Plow Boston to the Ground Over the Next 10 Years” Ellsbury had to bail you out in the playoffs last year, I’ll miss you (You actually bailed Jacoby out this year–not that it mattered).  In all seriousness, you are one of the greatest DEFENSIVE center fielders I’ve ever seen.  So, here’s to you, Coco.  I’ll miss you.  Trade analysis after the jump.

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Pedroia the Destroy-ah!!!!

Just a quick post to give a shout out to my boy Dustin Pedroia on being crowned the champion of dancing with the stars AL MVP!!  Good work kid, now just bring another World Series crown to Bahston next season!

press release after the jump

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Mets Third Baseman David Wright Forced to Fend Off Attack by Desperate Pack of Cougars

Nooo, not that type of cougar, the more rabid, predatory of the two.  As if being an All-Star Major League Third Baseman in one of the world’s most desirable cities wasn’t enough, David Wright also just happened to be blessed with a face only the straightest of males, and the butchiest of lesbians, couldn’t love.  For all other persuasions, Mr. Wright adds a whole new meaning to the term “Hot Corner”, or so I hear, but that blessing may have become a bit of a curse as of late.

Apparently the Mets slugger was forced to defuse a small riot at his annual “Do the Wright Thing” fundraiser (nice one, David) at the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square the other night.  According to reports, Wright watched in shock as he was “mobbed by a swarm of trashy-looking cougars.”   “Middle-age women with bad 80′s hair were practically pushing down little kids who were trying to get baseballs signed”. 

To add to the hysteria, and the hilarity, Wrignt supposedly could be overheard pleading, “Ladies, calm down!  Please, relax.”  Just another day in the life of David Wright.  Link to the New York Post blurb after the jump, as well as some select cuts of all time classic Cougs. 

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Those Darn Yankees!

Imagine being the “govenor” of Red Sox Nation in Raleigh, NC and comming home to find your entire house and collection of Red Sox memorabilia vandalized with NY Yankee logos. This happened to Sean Bunn last week. Read the story after the jump.

It’s a Dog Day Afternoon

Or perhaps “Dawg Day”, hopefully.  And I suppose it’s really more of an evening thing, but, either way, we’ve got an all Bulldog College World Series Championship Series coming up tonight at 7:00 ET (ESPN 2).  Georgia and Fresno State, Vegas’ two long-shots to win it all, have defied all odds this tournament.  Fresno State has been particularly surprising.  No Regional 4 seed had ever made it to Omaha, let alone the Championship Series, but I’m sincerely hoping their luck starts to run out tonight.  On top of that, I’m not sure anyone could have predicted the “Big Browns” Miami, North Carolina, and Florida State dropped on us this CWS.  I certainly didn’t, but then I’m obviously not saying I’m all that disappointed either. 

For various reasons, seeing my Dawgs take down the Heels would have been a bit sweeter, there’s no denying that, but then I naturally have to like Georgia’s chances against Fresno better.  Despite how hot both of these teams are right now, it’s inevitable that something’s got to give, and the law of averages suggests it should be the “Underdogs to Wonderdogs” from out west.  How many “superior” opponents can they continue to best?  We’ll see…

Kyle Shelton proves that success and failure are not necessarily mutually exclusive…

Even simultaneous instances of such.  Great catch, Kyle, but at what cost?  At least this play, which I’m officially nominating for Face Plant of the Year, basically guarantees that Kyle Shelton will be seen on Megatrons in baseball parks around the country for the foreseeable future.  Kyle Shelton and the San Diego Chicken: Joined for eternity.  You’re a utilitarian hero in that sense, Mr. Shelton.  That wall may have simply left a mark on your face, but you and your brazen approach to tracking down foul balls have left a mark on the baseball universe, and that’s something…even in the context of a 6-1 loss and being eliminated from the College World Series.  God bless you, Kyle Shelton.