Frumpzilla

Julius Peppers steals $91.5 million from the Bears

good riddance

No question Pep is a physical freak.  Too bad he has the heart of Bonzi Wells.

Don’t let a 10 sack/year average fool you.  The Panthers have been extremely average (9-7) over his career and Pep has been able to collect more garbage stats as a result that anyone in recent memory.  6 of his 10.5 sacks last year came against Tampa Bay, Washington and Buffalo.  Don’t forget the brilliant ‘07 campaign, in which he barely sacked opposing QB’s more than me (2.5).  Any dude who is 6-7, 290 and runs like a RB should DOMINATE (see Mario Williams).  Not jog around aimlessly for half the plays he is on the field.

What I remember is the non-existence in the run game.  The lack of leadership in the locker room.  The general ‘not giving a shit’ attitude that seemed to permeate from him on the sidelines.

Now this team unquestionably belongs to Jon Beason (thank God).  If the Cats play with half of his determination, they will be fine moving forward.  Without Delhomme giving the ball up every other drive with a confused look on his face and without Pep jogging to the ball every play, maybe now I can finally pull whole-heartedly for the home town team.  Finally.

-chese

Happy Birthday, Herschel Walker: Here’s why you belong in the Hall of Fame

Yes, it’s true.  Herschel Walker was born this the 3rd day of March back in 1962.  Nearly half a century later, let’s see, he’s represented the United States in the Winter Olympics; danced professional ballet; developed a successful food services enterprise; and, amongst other things,  just recently won his first MMA match.  He also dabbled in something called “Football” a bit along the way, and that’s actually what we’re focusing on today.  More specifically, why Mr. Walker’s bust should grace the hallowed halls in Canton at some point.

Yes, yes, I know.  It immediately sounds like a preposterous, if not borderline insane, suggestion, but that’s why I’m here to offer this hopefully compelling argument on Herschel’s behalf.

It might actually be more of a comparative evaluation, really.  See, I figured if I could demonstrate that Herschel was as good, better or even just comparable to an already enshrined peer that nearly no one would question is justifiably in the Hall, then one must logically accept that Walker is at least worthy of such consideration.  That said, let’s take a look at Walker’s professional career next to Tony Dorsett’s.  The results may surprise you…

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5 melodramatic press conferences that give Tiger a run for his money

Don’t let some of these pundits fool you, Frumpsters. Sure, sports naturally lends itself to drama, and the adoring public’s spotlight, for better or worse, typically doesn’t get switched off when the lights of the arenas, fields and stadiums that players and coaches occupy in their respective professional lives do, but sometimes people just need to get a grip.

Seriously, we’ve got respected, established journalists out there (who shall remain nameless) shedding tears and using words like “profound” and “deep” in reference to this act Tiger just put on a bit ago. And before I get labeled a hater or something, let me just say that, before now, I was never particularly fazed by all this Tiger scandal stuff. It was entertaining more than anything, but never completely ruined Tiger’s aura, or whatever, for me. Now, however, after it became overwhelmingly clear that the most sincere thing at Tiger’s presser was his own level of self absorption (or possibly the look on his mother’s face), he just might be doomed.

But at least he’s not the first to pull a stunt like this, right? I mean, his performance may have been the most Oscar worthy, sure, but there is precedence, and we highlight a bit of what may have served as inspiration for Tiger here (and after the jump). We’ve also got the full clip of Tiger’s press conference for those of you that may have missed out, so please do enjoy (regardless of how unfair it all is).

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Jerry Jones Loves Men’s Figure Skating

Can’t you tell?  Seriously, though.  After all the crazy ass shit that allegedly went on according to Boys Will Be Boys, the Super Bowls and, of course, the new stadium and jumbotron worth more than the GDP of several 3rd World countries, who’d of thunk Jerry Jones would be this enthralled by something as emasculating as the Men’s Figure Skating Final?

Obligatory Celebration Picture From Super Bowl 44

A True Super Bowl Bromance

There are going to be a whole butt load of celebration pics from Super Bowl 44 floating around the blogosphere over the next couple weeks or so, so I figured we here at Frumpzilla should try and stand out from the flock by posting one of the losers (the Colts, not placeholders and kickers).  Really captures a certain je ne sais quoi, doesn’t it?

Many, many thanks to The Admiral for the tip…

Super Bowl Prop Betting Your Way To Temporary Social Stardom

Or: Drawing attention to yourself, positive or negative, as you desire, at whatever traditional, obligatory junket you may be attending in honor of Super Bowl XLIV.

We all know Super Bowl props are “fun” (don’t we?), but not all Super Bowl props are created equal.  After all, who not named “Reggie Bush” can typically get any bang for their buck in relation to the size of Kim Kardashian’s ass?  Well, tomorrow night, the whole world has been given the opportunity to ride Kim Kardashian’s ass to glory.  Gambling glory, that is, and the fun doesn’t end there…

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Peyton Manning’s Pro Bowl replacement is…David Garrard?

David Garrard

Garrard’s stat line just SCREAMS Pro Bowl;

3,597 yards, 15 TDs, 10 Ints, 60.9% completions and a gaudy 83.5 QB rating

ESPN story

Of course, it isnt Garrard’s fault.  A good guy and an ok QB…but it speaks to how muddled QB play is in the league after the top tier and how guys just dont care about the game.

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Norv does it again – observations from the Jets-Chargers *UPDATE – TURNER SIGNED TO EXTENSION*

way to go, Norv

Norv Turner, once again, proves how easy it is to squander talent.  Notes from the game:

• Chargers came out on fire, but failed to capitalize with points.  Credit the Jets D, they kept Rex and Dirty in the game with some crucial stops early on.
• Kaeding does it again…best regular season kicker of all time.  Watching the game, you just knew he was going to be King Shank all day.
• The Chargers D clearly missed their Pro-Bowler in the middle, Jamal Williams. (more…)

Frumpzilla’s 1st Annual NFL Playoff Pick ‘Em

In a true clash of the titans, the Frumpzilla staff presents its picks for the playoffs.  The favorite here could be The Chese as he just won a season-long pick ‘em; although, I’m sure his partner (Beeker) carried him…..so, nevermind.

Tiebreakers will be decided in the ocatagon…the caged
octagon….with hands dipped in glass.  And steel ladders and chairs.
And Ms. Elizabeth ring-side.

(That pic is for you, Admiral)

UPDATE:  STANDINGS…..

TGHM…2-2

B.  Diddy…2-2

Cochese…1-3

Ciaran…0-4

Admiral Fleece McStaticpants…0-4

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DeSean Jackson throws down the gauntlet! (I think)

“Mike Jenkins ain’t never shut me down, so y’all chill out over there,” Jackson said. “Them boys are scared of me. I’m a dual threat on that field. They be having like four people on your boy out there, but it’s all good.”

Jackson has 5 catches for 76 yards and no TD’s vs. the Cowboys this season

If you are as confused as I am, Frump it for a translation…

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Jay Cutler stinks on ice

Just tossed INT #26 on the year, MOST in the NFL

This Frump’s for you, Beek…

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Just another lazy Sunday afternoon for the LSU Philosophy Department…

It’s just the way of the universe, “destiny”; assuming one aligns his or herself with a compatibilist approach to the universe, of course.  Humans may, indeed, have “free will,” but, in the end, aren’t our “free” actions just contributors to a predetermined, inevitable end? 

Don’t bother worrying about such things. This system, this plan, was set in motion a long, long time ago.  Evidenced by the Saints’ miraculous escape from the jowls of defeat against the Redskins last Sunday, it’s simply fate, but at least the universe maintains balance.  As one NFL franchise is cosmically steered towards its destined glory, one man (Shaun Suisham) must necessarily lose his job and struggle to put food in the jowls of his family.  Again, though, don’t let such things trouble you.  It’s just the way it has to be.  Besides, aren’t there more important things to be troubled about?  Of course there are…  

Matthew Stafford is Now a Man…

At least according to the creator of this brilliant YouTube video.  As we all know, there comes a time in everyone’s life – yes, even you, ladies - when it’s time to step up and be a man; a mannny, mannny, mawhhhn, at that.  After Stafford had a huge, record setting day against the Browns, becoming the youngest player in NFL history to throw 5 TD passes in a game, the first rookie to do so since 1937, and leading an 88 yard, game winning drive sans timeouts with under 2 minutes to play, Matty Fire has apparently made the aforementioned transition. 

How much his alleged drilling of apparently copious amounts of sweet, uterine crude had to do with said transition is unclear…

So, you want to be an NFL WR?

Sure, we all do (don’t we?), but we also need to be aware of the potential drawbacks.  It’s true, as an NFL player you may get all the fancy ladies, and the clothes, and the free creams and lotions, but you could also end up with a finger like the Jags’ Torry Holt down there (It looks like that permanently, Frumpsters).  Yeah, so for all of you out there thinking about  trying out at your favorite franchise’s mini-camp this weekend, and I know there’s at least handful of ya, consider this your public service announcement for the day foreseeable future. 

Rumor has it that during Holt’s days at N.C. State he used to tie one arm behind his back during receiving drills.  That may help explain things.  Either way, I’m adding this revelation to an already long list of reasons why I haven’t made a living catching a lot of balls.  Make the jump for a clip of Torry discussing his “trophy” of a finger at a recent Jaguars press conference.

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NFL Thursday Pick’em- Brought to you by Hot girls sporting their favorites!

San Deigo Chargers Vs. Oakland Raiders

Like Smokey would say…. “DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNN!!!!!!”

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