I’m pretty sure I’ve posted some of Jimmy Fallon’s musical parodies before…I know I’ve tweeted them before. If we were incredibly worried about hits at this website, I’d add those links here in order to trick you into getting stuck on our site for hours. However, clearly we’re not worried about that…and I’m lazy. So I’m just going to post this here now..very quickly. After all, would we really be a website if we didn’t mention Tim Tebow once this NFL season?
As long as the NFL is around, I think it’s safe to say there’s going to be ample criticism of the league’s officials. Such criticism is typically not difficult to find, especially the really blatant stuff. I won’t even bother linking you to any of the ranting and raving about other calls from Week 6′s games, especially since we’ve got perhaps the very best bad call of them all right here.
You know, there are bad missed calls — like that blatant block in the back by 49ers #56, Tavares Gooden, on this Ted Ginn, Jr. punt return that setup San Francisco’s game-winning drive against the Lions last Sunday. You can see it at around the 14 second mark in the above video, then again in better, slower detail at around 40 seconds.
Those kind of bad calls, I mean, they’re not really post-worthy. Ted Ginn, Jr. stepping out at the Lions 40, and then the officials placing the ball at the Lions 35 for no apparent reason, however…that’s post-worthy.
Perhaps Bobby Layne decided 9-straight wins was enough for Detroit...
I suppose if 49ers TE Delanie Walker’s game-winning score hadn’t gone for 5.999 yards on 4th and goal from the 6, even those 5 free yards the officials handed out eight plays earlier wouldn’t be that big a deal. After all, the Lions still had a chance to stop their opponent, and, despite there being under two minutes to play when they first got the ball back, Detroit even had two more chances on offense that they squandered.
Still, one has to wonder: Just how the f*ck does something like this happen at such a critical juncture in a National Football League game? Again, I’ll give the zebras the block in the back, despite how blatant it was — that kind of no-call happens every weekend. Spotting a team five yards inside their opponent’s half in the 4th quarter, though? Just really, really bizarre.
Hell, maybe it’s the Lions staff and/or players that need to be called out on this one. Inexcusable to allow stuff like this to happen in a game that literally came down to inches. Luckily for Schwartz and the Lions — and the refs — it looks like the post-game handshake blowup between Schwartz and Harbaugh will overshadow the gross negligence documented the video above.
When you’re currently 5-0, and own the NFL’s longest active winning streak at 9 games dating back to last year, it’s a lot easier to look back and laugh at some of your darker days. And I mean really dark. Like, 0-16, drafting three wide receivers in a row with your first overall pick dark.
That’s the kind of luxury Detroit Lions fans are afforded these days, and that’s exactly what they’re doing with this nice little parody of the critically acclaimed, baseball business-focused hit Moneyball.
Here, of course, former Lions General Manager Matt Millen plays the pivotal, Billy Beane-like role in shaping a franchise from the ground up via some rather unorthodox strategies. The results are vastly different, obviously, but, as Millen says at one point, it was still a team that could have changed the game forever (if they could have just won one game with those players back in 2007).
As expected there are a handful of historical inaccuracies. For instance, I think we all know the Lions would have been MUCH better a few years back if Matt Millen was actually relying on EA Sports/Madden for scouting/talent evaluations. There may also be a handful of jokes in here that will only register with Lions fans, but overall it’s pretty damn good.
However, apparently not content to let me enjoy the spoils of my draft success, today my friend, colleague and Fantasy Football competitor — The Gingerhead Man — decided to link me to the above video, which is currently featured at www.peytonhillis.com.
Needless to say, I was devastated. If the negative karma associated with such a display doesn’t mandate a drastic slump in Peyton’s performance this year, I’m not sure what possibly could. I mean, just where the f*ck is Peyton’s head at this year?
To be fair, based on the autographed helmet pictured above, whether or not that was the Peyton Hillis dropping a less than 10% tip is possibly in question. Whether or not Hillis has an 11-year old girl signing memorabilia for him is in question as well.
Either way, let’s just say I’m glad I had the wherewithal to pick up Montario Hardesty in the 13th.
It appears Braves pitcher Derek Lowe isn’t the only professional athlete in Georgia with a weakness for Porshe’s new Panamera 4S sport sedan. Well, we assume that new Cincinnati Bengals wideout A.J. Green — the fourth overall pick in the 2011 NFL Draft — hasn’t fully moved out of Athens yet, but it should be a smooth ride when he does.
Here’s a nice video of the former Georgia Bulldog standout picking up his “hard” wheels at a dealership not too far from Athens — about a month ago.
But yeah, before anyone jumps the gun — i.e. starts making jersey jokes and what not — this is a good time to remind you youngsters about the power of income potential when you sit down to negotiate your first big loan. That and the importance of signing endorsement deals with Nike and Gatorade, and stuff, but let’s just take it one step at a time.
Now, while I’m still not sold on the Panamera, and swear it may very well be the world’s first Sport Sedan-Station Wagon crossover, I do truly hope A.J. fares better in his new ride than Derek Lowe has.
Fanly advice, A.J.: Don’t let the lovely lady friend drive it — that was cute of you to tease her like that, though.
No fancy intro here. Four observations from your humble and unreliable correspondent.
Lets get to it…
1. Finally something to watch on Thanksgiving
Best pick of the night belonged to the Detroit Lions. Hands down. My favorite pick. The most entertaining thing to watch in all of football is a dominating defensive tackle (see Suh’s performance against Texas in the 2010 Big XII title game and Fairley in this year’s National Title). The goat of previous drafts, the Lions have hit 3 home runs in recent years with Calvin Johnson, Ndamukong Suh and now Nick Fairley….with a foruth pick that could make it a grand slam should Ciaran man-crush and ceiling poster boy Matty Stafford ever prove not to be made out of beautiful fine crystal. That aside…
Assuming you can do it legally, what better way to spice up the 1st Round of the 2011 NFL Draft tonight than with some prop bets, right? I mean, if it works for Super Bowl parties, why not the NFL Draft?
Best of all, unlike your average prop, most of these have been analyzed and discussed (albeit indirectly) by countless “Draft Experts” for months now — so you’ve actually got a wealth of supposedly reliable, predictive information to work with.
Let’s take a look at what’s arguably tonight’s marquee prop, for instance:
Or, in other words: Will Cam Newton go #1 Overall, or not?
Now, if you’re at all interested in this year’s NFL Draft, you’ve probably read no less than 10 articles in the past 72 hours on what the Carolina Panthers are gonna do with the #1 pick. The overwhelming consensus: They’re going to draft Cam Newton (but aren’t necessarily over the moon about it).
Carolina is certainly in an unenviable position. Newton, despite how high his ceiling may be, is still almost certainly somewhat of a project, at best. Gus Malzahn’s “One Read and Go” offense at Auburn — however misconstrued it may be — probably didn’t prepare Cam for the complexities of an NFL passing attack as much as it could, amongst other red flags .
It also appears the Panthers, in desperate need of QB help regardless, may not be able to find a viable trading partner for the #1 pick, and Newton — at -400 — is the clear favorite to be selected first overall (Marcell Dareus is the next favorite at a distant +300).
All that said, roll the dice on Newton Under 1.5, and — particularly if you’re a Panthers fan — make sure your fingers are firmly crossed….
While not having a reasonable excuse for bailing on church and/or home improvement projects; losing Fantasy Football; and, of course, the collapse of the chicken wing industry are all, by all means, unsettling, at least we can take comfort in the fact that domestic life across the nation is apparently expected to improve should either party at the NFL bargaining table really decide to dig their heels in.
[A study from the Quarterly Journal of Economics has found] calls to the police reporting men’s assaults on their wives or intimate partners rose 10 percent in areas where the local National Football League team lost a game they were favored to win…
In contrast, co-authors David Card, Ph.D., and Gordon Dahl, Ph.D., found no decrease in reports of violence following an unexpected win by the local team or by the team’s loss in a game that was expected to be close.
The study’s authors believe their research confirms earlier work suggesting unexpected disappointments have a more profound emotional impact on us than pleasant surprises. Card and Dahl’s methodology included comparing pre-game betting odds for various NFL teams from 1995-2006. They then matched the results and other data from those games with police reports filed in 763 police jurisdictions.
When a home favorite lost, the study found a corresponding spike in domestic violence reports in relevant jurisdictions relative to weeks the home team was on bye. Moreover, the researchers found an even more alarming connection to games in “higher stakes” games…
In a week that’s seen many media outlets chastised — however unfairly — for prioritizing something like the pending NFL lockout over other, completely unrelated human interest stories, I must say it’s quite refreshing to come across an examination of something sharing at least some semblance of a contextual connection.
Namely, chickens. More specifically, their ubiquitous, extremely tasty wings.
Indeed, when one thinks of the sheer amount of chicken wings, tenders, and boneless wing bites likely consumed supplementary to a typical NFL season, it’s easy to imagine just how disastrous a lockout could be to what’s probably the marquee foodstuff of America’s most popular professional sport.
Now, I’m not entirely sure what Mr. Wright was going for — or perhaps looking for, I guess. At times his analysis seems quite pertinent, but then, without warning, you’re greeted with something likable to the pitch of an ad that’s likely sitting in your spam folder right now.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not trying to be critical. This approach certainly made for probably the most compelling feature on a Senior Bowl weigh-in I’ve ever read. It just, you know, also happened to be one of the most WTF inducing as well.
Things start off relatively innocently. Take FSU QB Christian Ponder’s “note“: Great definition with a six-pack.
Well, if it ended there, I wouldn’t be frumping this post right now. As you’ll see after the jump, things began to spiral rapidly — and progressively — out of control as Draft Countdown went through the position groups…
Given his history, the world may never know for certain if Brett Favre will or will not retire, or change his mind about whatever decision he may or may not have made shortly thereafter.
But wouldn’t it be nice — wouldn’t it have been nice — if he asked the masses, sports fans, the people his actions affect the most for advice? You know, like our friend Lebron James did not so long ago?
I mean, things certainly couldn’t have gone much worse, right? Well, I’m not sure if Brett’s version would be this “penis-heavy,” but it probably should be.
All he had to do was ask, you know. Would of saved us all a lot of trouble.
Warning: If “penis” and “dick” are NSFW words where you earn your keep, then there’s some fairly NSFW language in the video
This is actually from last year’s NFL playoffs, apparently. Conveniently, I suppose it still applies to Saturday’s Steelers-Ravens game, and — if the Steelers are lucky — Pittsburgh’s Super Bowl XLV hopes as well. Pretty clever.
Incidentally, it also happens to be the best cover of Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” I’ve ever heard — but then my experience there is probably limited to only every single guitar shop I’ve ever stepped foot in, so…
Thanks to the Admiral for the tip. The ship has been raised!