Well, I was wrong.

I mean, maybe I”m just dull, or ignorant, or don’t go trick-or-treating enough anymore, but I had no idea setting holiday lighting to music was the hip thing to do now, let alone animating said lighting to simulate dance moves and vocals and what not. Pretty impressive, if perhaps a tad confounding.

Either way, in light of this ritual apparently becoming more and more prevalent these days,  I guess it should come as no surprise that a tune as ubiquitously popular as Korean rapper Psy’s “Gangnam Style” would pop up on the block. And maybe even the next block. And the next. Any why not, if your neighbors can do it this well? Make the jump for a few more…

This one’s a bit more understated, but still pretty good, no?

I like the retro feel of this one. Some of those lights seem like they could have been around for the original airing of the It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

Finally, it’s probably worth noting that Gangnam Style, of course, has nothing to do with Halloween. That said, for fans of something a tad more topical, perhaps this Thriller house is more up your alley.

H/T to Cochese for the tip and inspiration…

Frump has featured a lot of Russian kids doing weird and wild stuff over the years. With that in mind, I guess it’s only fair that we show some German adults pulling sufficiently similar stunts.

I think that’s German anyway. Does anyone know what “Oooh, ahhhh. Ooooh, ein ass!” means in English? All I caught was a couple of F-Bombs and something about David Hasselhoff. Then again, I guess we don’t really need a translator to understand what’s going on here, do we? Lolsome.

Don’t let the “127″ up there fool you — Frump hasn’t done a series on these classics or anything, though there might be one or two out there. 127 is just a rough estimate of how much sufficiently similar, legitimately lol-worthy stuff is likely out there on the interwebs. Indeed, a testament to the many pitfalls of being a weatherman.

You just have to be on a heightened state of alert in that profession, but most meteorologists know this. Most have seen enough dong-shaped animated graphics flying around behind them to know you don’t pull out the emphatic pelvic thrust maneuver all willy-nilly — not least when discussing the expansion of a tropical storm named “John.” Most know that.

Others, like our friend Dan up there, occasionally get caught with their pants down, exposed on YouTube and the like, but it’s all part of the learning process, I suppose.

H/T to DBJ: Frump’s resident dong-shaped storm chaser

Question of the day, Frumpsters: Would you buy liquor that’s been bottled only after it was poured, erotically, over the rigid, rubbery breasts of an allegedly beautiful woman? Branded and brought to you by those two guys up there?

We’ll let you answer that on your own, free of judgement. Don’t be shy, though. It’s not like you’re buying a vial of vaginal scent for your on the go smelling pleasure, right?  You’ve certainly spent your hard-earned cash on more ridiculous novelty items, haven’t you? If so, then G-Spirits might just become your liquor of choice… [WARNING: G-Spirits website, while entertaining, is not the slightest bit safe for work]

So yeah, if you’re that guy or gal — the guy or gal that’s in the market for boob-infused spirits — you’ll have your choice of half liter bottles of rum ($168.50), whiskey ($181.50)  or vodka ($155.50).  All creatively branded as “G.Spirits 1″, and, of course, all poured over the voluptuous tits of a “special woman” (photo included).

Act fast, though — each bottle is limited to an initial release of 5,000. Sure, in this economy, boob filtration mechanisms probably won’t be in short supply any time soon. Demand for titty liquor may see a steep decline pending the outcome of the November elections, however, so it’s probably better to play it safe and pick up a couple bottles of your favorite flavor now.

Regardless of what you choose, and regardless of G-Spirits and their titty liquor’s future business prospects,  one thing’s for sure: They’ve milked the marketing angle for all its worth.

H/T to Cochese for the tip and inspiration

On September 21st, 2012 a University of Tennessee student, and Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity member, was hospitalized in an alcohol-related incident. Not exactly headline news, despite the blood-alcohol content of well over 0.40 reported by the media. Well, not headline news if not for the captivating two-word term that, according to Mr. Alexander “Xander” Broughton’s legal counsel, is now sweeping the nation, and possibly the world.

I’m talking, of course, about “butt chugging” — fraternally defined as the act of sticking rubber tubing up one’s ass and letting the beer, wine, and/or liquor flow (into said ass).

Why? Well, this practice presumably takes advantage of the plethora of blood vessels in the anal cavity; bypasses the filtration mechanisms of the liver; and thus, essentially, just gets one, like, really fucking blasted in a relatively short amount of time. An alcohol enema, if you will. An alcohol enema that, ALLEGEDLY, nearly cost Xander Broughton his life.

Frump can’t stress that alleged status enough. Primarily because, well, Xander Broughton denies he’s a butt chugger. In fact, he’d never even heard of butt chugging until he was asked about it while lying in his hospital bed. See, what really happened that fateful evening at the Pi Kappa Alpha frat house was just a classic “Tour de Franzia” session that got a little out of hand. Nothing more, nothing less.

The medical professionals that apparently thought he was a victim of sexual assault? Just another common misdiagnosis of someone that was recently pulled up by the belt of their pants. It can bruise you, after all.

And let’s make sure the world knows another thing, too — Alexander “Xander” Broughton is NOT a homosexual. Not gay. Straight. Likes girls. Okay? Oh, and all you journalists out there; the one’s that relied on police records and such to report on this alleged butt chugging incident — yeah, time to go back to journalism school and brush up on your ethics. Shame on you!

Rest assured, Broughton’s fraternity — and their Alumnus attorney — are standing behind him on this issue.  And they’ll be behind him until hell freezes over. So watch your backs University of Tennessee Medical Center, University of Tennessee, and University of Tennessee police. Xander Broughton and Pi Kappa Alpha are about to wear your respective asses out.

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Quick Update, 10/3/2012: Frump came across the full police report this morning. It’s pretty fantastic. H/T to Out Kick the Coverage for bringing the police reports/interviews to light.  They’ve also got another video of the press conference that includes an additional, one-on-one interview with Mr. Broughton at the end. It’s a must see (starting around the 8:20 mark).

H/T to Alex C for the link 

So, as usual, Frump took the first two weeks to get a feel for the college football landscape this year. Week 3 we went 4-3 against the spread (ATS); Week 4 was dominated by wedding festivities (no (betting) action); and now we head into week 5 sitting at 57%, 3 points shy of Frump’s lofty 60% ATS winning percentage goal for the season.

We’re not counting on that, obviously. We’d be thrilled to even maintain our current 57-58% rate, but why not to aim high, right? With that in mind, let’s go ahead and take a quick look at the seven games Frump likes for Week 5 (in no order):

N.C. State at Miami -2.5; O/U 56.5

Kicking things off with a bit of Raleigh flavor,  N.C. State (3-1) travels down to sunny south Florida to take on the Miami Hurricanes (3-1) before what’s sure to be yet another tepid, non-capacity crowd at Sun Life Stadium.

Yes, in case you haven’t heard, despite the best efforts of the local sports radio community,  the U tends to have a bit of trouble  drumming up the kind of fan enthusiasm, passion and support that one might expect from such a prestigious college football program. And that should play an important role in Frump’s pick of Under 56.5.

There’s not a heap of series history here; N.C. State is 5-7-1 all time against Miami. The relevant angle for the Under, however, is what these two teams have done against comparable competition this year, and — in the case of Miami — where they’ve done it.

The total in each of N.C. State’s three games against FBS competition would meet the Under 56.5 today, including a strong 10-7 win @ UConn in Week 2. Miami, on the other hand, has been hitting Overs on the reg (3-0). All three of  the Hurricanes games against FBS competition (Boston College, Kansas State, Georgia Tech) have smashed Over 56.5 (72, 65, 78, respectively). All three of those games have also, however, been on the road.

The lone home game for Miami up until today saw the Canes beat Bethune-Cookman 38-10 in Week 3. After an emotional, hard fought win against @ Georgia Tech last week, expect Miami to return home to the lukewarm confines of Sun Life Stadium, where a similarly-styled performance from two teams still seemingly trying to find their way should help Frump win with the Under here.

Louisiana Tech at Virginia +3.5; O/U 60.5 

Staying in ACC land for now; this time with a game that actually has some strong trends associated with it.

While Louisiana-Monroe has been making headlines by knocking off and/or taking supposed SEC and Big 12 powers to the wire, Louisiana Tech has quietly gone 3-0 with wins @ Houston, Rice, and @ Illinois. Sure, maybe not the most impressive list of wins, but if the Bulldogs can somehow manage to get by the Cavaliers in Charlottesivlle today, they might very well be looking at a 12-0, BCS-buster-like season (Texas A&M appears to be the only remaining threat on La. Tech’s schedule).

Louisiana Tech is an impressive 11-3 ATS on the road over the last three years, to go with a nice 8-1 ATS trend during the same span after two straight up wins.  Virginia, while having looked woefully unimpressive so far — especially in regard to the still murky Blake Sims/Michael Rocco situation — is also on an unsavory 11-17 ATS dip in all games over the last three seasons, including just 6-9 ATS at home.

Frump’s rolling with Louisiana Tech -3.5 in a pseudo-upset pick.

Cincinnati v.s. Virginia Tech -6.5; O/U 47 (Neutral site: FedEx Field, Landover, MD)

Still ACC-heavy for the time being, Frump likes the Bearcats to at least cover against the Hokies in the house that Robert Griffin, III is currently rebuilding.

Handful for reasons for this: (1) Cincinnati is coming off of 14 days rest; extra-time to prepare is typically invaluable, obviously; (2) Similar to the N.C. State-Miami game above, word on the streets is that tickets aren’t exactly hard to come by for this one. I question how Virginia Tech responds to playing in such an atypical environment to Saturdays in Blacksburg; (3) Perhaps most importantly, these two teams have shared a common opponent (Pittsburgh), within a week of each other, and with drastically different results.

On September 9th, Cincinnati played Pittsburgh at home. The Bearcats won 34-10, putting of 464 yards of offense to Pitt’s 415. On September 15th, Virginia Tech played Pittsburgh on the road. The Hokies lost 17-35, and managed only 324 yards of offense to Pittsburgh’s 587.

Now, Frump’s not saying the disparity in results there NECESSARILY means anything. It’s enough, however, combined with the other reasons outlined above, to at least lean towards Cincinnati in this one. Take Cincinnati and the poins.

Clemson at Boston College +7; O/U 59.5

More ACC football. More empty, lifeless stadiums. More reasons to take the Under 59.5 here.

Clemson and BC have played every year since 2005. Only once (2006′s 34-33 Boston College victory) has the total in this series been within even 10 points of 59.5. Moreover, the Under trend for both teams is beyond strong in general: the Under is 22-4 in all Boston College games over the last three years; 14-3 in ACC games; and 10-3 in games at Chestnut Hill.

Meanwhile Clemson, for their part, is on a 9-2 Under swing in road games over the last three seasons.  The Tigers are also without star WR Sammy Watkins today due to a stomach virus, and Boston College has had an extra week to prepare for Clemson’s offense. Take the Under here and don’t look back.

Texas at Oklahoma State +2.5; O/U 65.5

Trend wise, nearly everything points to Oklahoma State here. The Cowboys are 21-8 ATS over the last three years overall, have beat Texas two years running, and will surely be hyped at the prospect of a hat trick tonight in Stillwater. Unfortunately, Frump just can’t get over that 38-59 loss to @ Arizona, the only reasonable opponent the Cowboys have faced this year.

Both teams are coming off byes here, so there’s no reason to think one will be anymore prepared than the other. Texas does seem to be slightly more battle tested thus far, though. Instead of beating Savannah State 84-0, the Longhorns beat Wyoming 37-17. Instead of beating Louisiana-Lafayette 65-24, they beat New Mexico 45-0. Instead of losing @ Arizona, they beat Ole Miss on the road 66-31.

One more fun fact: Texas is 6-1 against Oklahoma State in Stillwater, and hasn’t lost there since 1997. Hook ‘Em Horns, -2.5.

Wisconsin at Nebraska -11.5; O/U 50.5

In recent years, asking someone to eat 11.5 points and take Nebraska, home or away, against Wisconsin would probably evoke looks of disdain and lead to merciless ridicule. Not this year, though. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with the Badgers, but having watched them a couple times, one thing is clear: They haven’t been good. In fact, they’ve been quite bad, and Frump hopes that trend continues today.

Indeed, Wisconsin (3-1) is 0-4 ATS so far this year, managing an ugly 26-21 win in Madison against Northern Iowa (in football); a 16-14 win against Utah State, also in Madison; and an unimpressive 37-26 home victory over the Miners of UTEP. In Wisconsin’s   lone trip outside the state thus far, they fought tooth and nail with Oregon State, but lost 7-10. Through all that, they somehow managed to remain ranked in the Coach’s Poll, but that’s a topic for another day.

The Cornhuskers (3-1), to be fair, haven’t been terribly impressive themselves. Despite wins against Southern Miss (49-20), Arkansas State (42-13), and Idaho State (73-7), Nebraska’s trip to the West Coast also ended in a humbling loss, 30-36 @ UCLA.

Still, the Cornhuskers are 3-1 ATS, and Frump can’t stress enough just how bad Wisconsin has looked. The announcement of Tom Osborne’s retirement as Athletic Director should be enough motivation to help Nebraska cover that 11.5 spread. Frump’s husking with Nebraska -11.5.

Louisville at Southern Mississippi +10; O/U 49.5

Quick and easy here. Louisville is 4-0 and looking good so far with decent to solid wins over Kentucky, Missouri St., North Carolina and Florida International.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Southern Miss is in complete disarray after a marquee 12-2 season last year. The Golden Eagles (0-3)  have dropped games @ Nerbaska and @ Western Kentucky by a combined score of 91-37, while also losing at home to East Carolina 13-24.

Lousiville is 10-2 ATS the last three years on the road, and 5-0 ATS in its last 5 games against Southern Mississippi. 10 points may be teetering on a bit much to ask here, but Frump thinks the Cardinals will see this one through. Louisville +10 on the road.

Sure, NFL refs have been getting all the attention, but they weren’t the only ones getting replaced. ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ is getting revamped as well, however FX got an ALL STAR cast(Haley Joel Osment, Xzibit, Andrew Dice Clay, Chael Sonnen and Candace Cameron) to replace them.

Ya just gotta see this one, if anything just to see what the hell happened to cute little Haley Joel. Also? Candace Cameron is still hot.

With the Presidential election just around the corner, we thought it might be a good time to review our great nation’s rich and fascinating Presidential history. Especially the bits our public school system so glaringly omits.

Now, we obviously couldn’t care less who you vote for when you hit the polls come November – that’s a private and personal decision that you’ll have to reach on your own. We’re not here to persuade you one way or the other,  but we do think you should at least be armed with the knowledge necessary to give the voting process for the United States’ highest public office the respect it deserves.

For instance, learning that President Obama’s “Change” platform was actually a direct reference to, and namesake of,  his trusty crossbow may very well swing some votes away from the Romney-Ryan ticket, but that’s not our goal. We only wish to bring such frivolities to the forefront; how you use it, whether at your next pub-trivia night or when asking a question at one of the Presidential Debates, is up to you.

That said, come with us after the jump to learn some trivial, yet fascinating, facts about some of this country’s greatest political leaders…

Thanks to the marvelous “Drunk History” series, you probably learned quite a bit about Benjamin Franklin that you didn’t know before. Still, even that enligthening material didn’t drilldown to the real story behind Franklin’s “discovery” of electricity.

Sure, you probably had to memorize the Gettysburg Address circa 4th grade or so. And I bet even the back of the classroom recalls the importance of Lincoln’s Emancipation  Proclamtion. But your teacher probably left out why said proclamation was so damn effective. Now you know.

There are quite a few consipiracy theories out there about whether or not we truly landed on the moon back in 1969. Like most conspiracy theories, there’s actually some truth to  them. A very small amount of truth, mind you, but some truth nonetheless.

See, there’s no doubt that Neil Armstrong did, in fact, make that one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. And said step/leap was definitely on the moon. It just wasn’t the first step/leap.  After all, someone had to go up there first to make sure things were safe, right? Safe from what? Aliens, of course.

Who was that brave, battle-hardened man? President John F. Kennedy. Incidentally, this often overlooked fact plays a huge role in the Kennedy assasination conspiracy theories as well.

Speaking of conspiracy theories, let’s talk about Bigfoot. You know, Sasquatch, Yetti, etc. Again, there’s some truth to all these sightings that pop up every few months or so. There’s also a reason why those big, furry beasts keep such a low profile.

For one, they’re nearly extinct. Second, the ones that happen to be left have been scared shitless since the early 1900′s. Why? Three words: Teddy Mothaeffin’ Roosevelt.

Lastly, but then also firstly in a sense, George Washington. AKA: The original Commander-in-(Master) Chief. Again, contemporary popular history would have you believe a bunch of unorganized farmers with bird guns and kitchen knives, led by a handful of uppity intellectuals, somehow managed to win their independence from arguably the world’s most powerful military force at the time.

Is that really any more plausible than the picture above?

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You can buy all of these awesome prints and more from San Francisco artist Jason Heuser. Very affordable, too! Please visit his Etsy shop to see the entire collection. Cheers!

H/T to DBJ. Frump’s resident Facebooking crime stopper

Since last night’s Lions-49ers game, and yesterday afternoon’s Tom Coughlin-Greg Schiano bust up, have made post-game sportsmanship — and/or the lack thereof — so topical yet again, how convenient is it that college football’s equivalent happens to be on tap this Saturday?

Last year’s Vanderbilt-Georgia game nearly saw the Commodores upset the Dawgs in Nashville. As you’ll see below, it also nearly saw Vandy head coach James Franklin get his head ripped off by enraged UGA defensive coordinator Todd Grantham. Fortunately, the end result was simply Georgia head coach Mark Richt getting a face full of “whine” from Franklin, but there’s little doubt tensions remain.

And so, of course, at Vanderbilt’s “Media Monday” this afternoon, some reporter was all but obligated to ask Franklin if he’d spoken with Grantham since last year’s incident:

“Yeah, actually our families went on vacation together. Disneyworld. We were floating in the pool together, drinking Mai Tais.”

Cheeky devil, that Franklin, but a fine football coach nonetheless. Will he have the Commodores ready for what I’m sure will be an extra-motivated Dawgs defense in Athens come Saturday? Almost certainly. Will it matter? Probably not.

Vanderbilt occasionally seems to give Georgia fits, even managing to pull off a 24-22 upset, in Athens, as recently as 2006; but I think the Dawgs head into this one as 14 point favorites for a reason. Either way, expect a chippy contest. Especially after the final whistle…

In case you missed it, Miami took a pretty epic beating at the hands of Kansas State last weekend. What was supposed to be a fairly competitive game saw the Canes pummeled 52-13 in Manhattan, and — while I haven’t spoken to any personally — I’m sure such a result left many Miami fans wondering just how long it might be until their beloved program gets back to its rightful place amongst college football’s elite.

One such fan, and former Hurricane defensive tackle in fact, is Mr. Dan Sileo. Sileo actually began his playing days at Maryland in 1983, where he apparently broke the school’s bench press record previously held by NFL Hall of Famer Randy White. Not surprised.

Shortly thereafter, however, Sileo was kicked off the team after allegedly tossing a fellow student off the first-floor balcony of his dorm. I’m sure no one questioned Sileo’s passion, though.

Not willing to let his people tossing skills go to waste, Sileo soon made his way down to Coral Gables in 1984, but only after a summer tour with the Bridgeport, Connecticut chapter of the Hell’s Angels (seriously, all this is on his Wikipedia page, so you know it’s true).

Once with the Hurricanes, Sileo managed to keep his scholarship long enough to become part of what Sports Illustrated voted “The Most Hated Team of All Time”. After one year with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, however, Sileo left people tossing behind and eventually found his true calling as a radio host for 560 WQAM, a Miami-based sports radio outlet.

Needless to say, the passion is still there. The sanity, of course, remains in question. After all, it’s not everyday one hears kicks to the groin and/or eye gouging offered as motivational advice to college football players. But hey, it’s all just fun and games when confined to the epic meltdown of a man that still holds the title of strongest man in Miami Hurricanes football history, right?

Well, it’s Friday, and it’s been a long time since we’ve posted anything. And, sometimes it’s just good to let ‘ol Googlebot know you’re still around.

This isn’t the first time we’ve featured cats being assholes here on Frumpzilla, but it’s certainly one of the best examples we’ve come across as of late. Sure, an apologist might describe domesticated felines as “independent,” “proud,” and “sly,” but the more level headed among us — i.e. “dog people” — understand that that’s simply a nice way of framing their true nature as smug, guile assholes that would scratch your heart out for just a whiff of Nepeta cataria.

If you still have doubts, watch the above video again. I mean, if they’ll do that to their own kind, what could they possibly be thinking as they’re curled up next to you, waiting for their “master” to fall asleep at night? Just sayin’, don’t say Frump didn’t warn you…

Thanks to DBJ for being an asshole…cat lover

I stopped swimming in inter-coastal waterways a long time ago. Not because of bull sharks, mind you. They never really crossed my mind. More of a general fear of the unknown…and dirt. Maybe gar, or gators, or something else that probably poses no real threat to me, but not bull sharks. Until now.

The bull shark above, hooked off a residential dock in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina’s inter-coastal waterway, was supposedly a 6 to 7 footer. It was also eating a 5 pound red drum. Given the priceless reaction of the anglers, I think it’s safe to say that folks down in Myrtle Beach don’t typically encounter such beasts in those waters, and I imagine they’re somewhat grateful for that — though probably not as grateful as they apparently were to have caught it all on camera.

From the makers of classic beers like Bud Light Golden Wheat, Bud Light Platinum and Bud Light Chelada comes the next thing to ruin your taste buds and give you a headache, Bud Light Lime Lima-a-Rita. It’s 8% abv(which is sure to be its only redeeming quality) and will most likely remind you absolutely nothing of a well made margarita.

“As warm weather starts to take hold across the country, people want light and refreshing beverages to keep them cool all summer long,” said Mike Sundet, vice president, Bud Light. “This is our take on the traditional margarita. Beer drinkers were already mixing Bud Light Lime into margaritas to create ‘beer ritas’; Lime-a-Rita just adds a new level of convenience by providing a beverage with the perfect balance of flavors.”

Anheuser-Busch is continuing its trend of coming up w/ more crap you’ll never drink only to take up space on your local grocer’s shelf, while actual beer is bought elsewhere. Drink at your own risk and enjoy the heartburn.

(editors note: I’m sure our tone would change under certain circumstances. “Bud Light Lime-A-Rita Presents: Frumpzilla” has a certain ring to it.)

h/t: BeerPulse

Considering I wasn’t in the room when the decision was made to hold Mustafa Greene out of practices recently, chalk this up to speculation. However, knowing Tom O’Brien and his disciplinary history, it’s not hard to connect the dots when you see the public record below. 

We heard about this earlier today so I went and grabbed the public record screenshot below. It seems he was pulled over on 4/2(when the paraphernalia was found) and has a court date of 5/10.

Of course I’d rather get info coming my way about good things for NC State(ahem:Amile:ahem) but I thought I’d pass this along as some of the speculation was getting pretty bad. Hopefully this turns out to be nothing and Greene won’t miss any games. It certainly could have been worse than just paraphernalia.

*UPDATE* – So, according to some internet supersleuths, this isn’t the only incident involving Mustafa. Not to pile on, but according to these records, he’s also got to deal w/ some speeding, lack of license/insurance and window tinting in Rowan County. As @AkulaWolf said, “This certainly got worse in a hurry.”

*UPDATE 2* – The local media must’ve had this on the back-burner(sorry guys?) because they’ve come out with a slew of statements including a quote from TOB regarding the legal issues saying “‘We are aware of the situation and appropriate action will be taken”. They’ve also noted the citations are NOT the reason Greene is being held out of practice. It sure as hell can’t help though. Check out the twitter feeds from  Joe Giglio from the N&O and Mark Armstrong from WTVD for those statements.

First and foremost, let Frump make this clear: We don’t know if this picture is actually of Georgia’s Heisman Hopeful quarterback, and all around good guy, Aaron Murray. Moreover, we’re not claiming it is. We just know that a lot of folks are. And, of course, that just about anything is possible on Spring Break.

Georgia players seem to be particularly susceptible to the wild and bizarre this time of year. Dawgs offensive lineman Watts Dantzler had quite an adventure on a Greyhound bus while returning from his Spring Break festivities, for instance. And then Senior cornerback Branden Smith got nabbed for possession of the green stuff in Alabama, apparently on his way down to Spring Break hot spot Panama City, Florida.

Assuming that is Murray with the epic “deer in headlights” look up there, the good news is that his most serious offense appears to be failing to use a coaster in such a classy establishment. That and maybe not locking the door.

Sure, one might question just what the hell that other dude is doing in the bed beside him, but Frump’s not here to pass judgement on anyone’s fetishes. Especially while on Spring Break.

I’m pretty sure I’ve posted some of Jimmy Fallon’s musical parodies before…I know I’ve tweeted them before. If we were incredibly worried about hits at this website, I’d add those links here in order to trick you into getting stuck on our site for hours. However, clearly we’re not worried about that…and I’m lazy. So I’m just going to post this here now..very quickly. After all, would we really be a website if we didn’t mention Tim Tebow once this NFL season?

Just watch. It’s awesome.

Is there anything harder than taking ALL of the music you listened to that came out this year and whittling it down to 20 AND putting them in order? I avoid doing this every year because it takes more thought and effort than I usually like giving…well, anything.

#1 is never hard, it’s 2-20. The first spot for me this year goes to Akron/Family. S/T II: The Cosmic Birth and Journey of Shinju TNT really didn’t get a lot of pub this year and I’ve been amazed all year. It was my favorite when it came out and nothing was able to dethrone it. Just a fantastic album in my opinion.

All my picks(22….I couldn’t keep it to 20) are below the fold. Also, I decided this was a great opportunity to use Spotify for the first time, so a sample of my list is available here.

1.)Akron/Family – S/T II: The Cosmic Birth and Journey of Shinju TNT – By far, my favorite album of 2011. Perfectly put together for the headphones and I can’t believe it hasn’t gotten more pub.
2.)Future Islands – On The Water – From what I can tell, this pick makes no sense unless you see them live. So…see them live.
3.)Bon Iver – Bon Iver – Hard not to have this in the top 5…you may fall asleep, but it’ll be the best sleep of your life. I love the Bruce Hornsby/Steve Winwood channeling on ‘Beth/Rest’.
4.)tUnE-yArDs – WHOKILL – One of the most inventive albums I’ve heard in awhile. Infectious.
5.)Wye Oak – Civilian – This is just a fantastic album. ‘The Altar’ stands out to me.
6.)Megafaun – Megafaun – An album that jumps all over the place from jam, folk, jazz, ambient. Big fan.
7.)Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues – What can ya say? You know what you’re gonna get….but you also know you’re going to enjoy it. Only reason it’s not in the top 5 is because they didn’t reach.
8.)Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr – It’s A Corporate World – Not gonna lie, didn’t listen for awhile due to their name. Glad I did, one of the more ‘fun’ albums of 2011.
9.)Okkervil River – I am Very Far – One of my favorite surprises of 2011. They’d always been ‘solid’ but this one stood out to me this year as incredibly well done.
10.)Gruff Rhys – Hotel Shampoo – I always feel like I’m being taken to another time and place…just not sure where or when. Good feeling though.
11.)M83 – Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming – I love it when I find albums my girlfriend can dance to AND I love hearing it. M83 is exactly that.
12.)War on Drugs – Slave Ambient – Love this album.
13.)The Mountain Goats – All Eternals Deck – I always enjoy spirit behind an acoustic guitar.
14.)Beirut – The Rip Tide – Once again, you know what you’re getting. A Beirut album is most likely going to get a lot of rotation with me…not sure when/if it’ll get old.
15.)TVOTR – Nine Types of Light – I don’t care that the sound at your live shows constantly disappoints me…the sound on your albums constantly pleases me. I’ll take it.
16.)Childish Gambino – EP – I really like Camp, but this EP was just right for me. Lyrics may be cheesy at points, but man, I enjoy it.
17.)Antlers – Burst Apart – I love the direction this took after ‘Hospice’ a couple years ago. Just a fantastic album.
18.)Elbow – Build A Rocket Boys! – Classic Elbow. Inspired way too(read: just the right amount of) many late night texts to friends this year.
19.)Agesandages – Alright You Restless – I can’t tell if liking this album is supposed to “hurt your rep” but then again, I don’t care. It kept finding it’s way in the rotation. Just fun.
20.)Wu Lyf – Go Tell Fire To The Mountain – Get past the vocals…because the songs are great.
21.)St. Vincent – Strange Mercy – See Beirut.
22.)Friendly Fires – Live Those Days Tonight - The first track by itself gets them on the list.

Man, it’s been awhile since I’ve frumped. In fact, it was going to be my new year’s resolution to remember my login and get back into this. However, every once in awhile, something comes along that makes you want to be a better person. It makes you want to smash the goals you’ve laid out for yourself and set the bar even higher. My something came this morning, when the above video arrived in my inbox.

I’ve done the Google research, and Will Forte does not have a new a movie coming out where releasing a viral video would help boost attendance. So, this thing is legit. I’m not sure what show it is, but that doesn’t matter as I’ll never watch it. How could they top this? My favorite part are the looks on the impressionable youth in the audience. This kid in particular may be our new Twitter avatar for the foreseeable future.

Enjoy the video as well as the ‘Re-dub’ which is just as enjoyable after the Frump.

editor’s note: I really didn’t realize it had been that long since I’ve posted…I’m really quite ashamed.

Out of sympathy for Gus Malzahn, that is.

Listen, we’ve all known that guy that’s with that girl. That girl that, you know, despite whatever good qualities she may have, just kind of makes you feel a little sorry for said guy when it’s time to go home. The guy that’s just kind of hanging on. Lost. Waiting, hoping for some guidance or impetus. Some way out of what at least seems to be an inescapable situation. Well, that guy may very well be Auburn Offensive Coordinator Gus Malzahn.

As you can see from the video above, Kristi Malzahn is, well, quite a handful, and her little Christ-side chat with Dr. Ronnie Floyd at The Summit (a Southern Baptist megachurch conference for evangelical-leaning Christians) shed quite a bit of light on several issues (in chronological order):

1. How bad it sucks to raise kids
2. How bad the Auburn fanbase sucks
3. How bad Lou Holtz’s slurred speech sucks
4. Why Gus Malzahn spends so many late nights at the office
5. How bad it sucked that Auburn only scored 22 points in its win over Oregon for the 2010 BCS Championship, and why Gus Malzahn sucks because of it
6. Kristi Malzahn’s secret, forbidden love for Cam Newton
7. How Cam Newton was recruited for less than two weeks
8. How bad Auburn running back Michael Dyer sucks
9. Potential recruiting violations
10.  More potential recruiting violations
11.  The level of intelligence of Auburn’s football team, and the populace of the State of Alabama in general
12. The intensity of the Alabama-Auburn rivalry, and how much it sucks
13. Even more potential recruiting violations committed by Auburn’s football program
14.  How awesome LSU is
15.  How awful we all should feel for Gus Malzahn

Windows Phone Rap! from Carly Presho Dunne on Vimeo.

Listen, before anyone gets their feelings hurt, I have no doubt that Microsoft’s new Mango-powered Windows Phone 7 is a great device. That’s right, great. Just like the the Zune was/is.

Wait –  I don’t actually know if the Zune is all that great. I’ve actually never gotten around to checking it out, nor have I been bombarded by media related to its features and user-friendliness and the like. And, ultimately, I guess that’s a big part of Microsoft’s problem.

Bill Gates. Brilliant man, relatively nice guy. Do you want to party with him, though?

Microsoft: Much like those rappers up there, they’re just not particularly hip, are they? I mean, it’s been awhile since anyone’s uttered the phrase “Microsoft, they’re soooo hot right now,” am I right?

And, to be clear, I’m not someone that intentionally seeks out “hip” products, nor do I mean to suggest most consumers are. It’s just that, for whatever reason, products in line with the culture of “hip,” real or imagined, seem to float to the top in the current marketplace. The sheer amount of exposure they receive goes hand in hand with any practical reasons for their dominance.

Just look at what Apple  accomplished with the iPhone and iPod. Or what Sony did with the Walkman in the late 70′s and throughout the 80′s and 90′s. Microsoft is incredibly far behind that curve in terms of superficial appeal to both the educated and “just give me something functional” mobile device consumer. So far behind, in fact, that one couldn’t be blamed for thinking Bill Gates produced the above video (he didn’t (at least not as far as I know)).

Alas, however, not unlike some of the above dance moves, Microsoft’s just too stiff of a company for people to get excited about one of its phones at this stage in the game. I’m not saying it’s fair. Sleek on the outside, Microsoft inside — in and of itself — doesn’t necessarily sound like a bad combination.

When your reputation in the market can be metaphorically expressed via this Windows Phone 7 fangirls rap, though; I mean, do you really want to party with the Windows Phone 7?

Thanks to DBJ for being hip enough to link Frump to this video (via everythingwm)

As long as the NFL is around, I think it’s safe to say there’s going to be ample criticism of the league’s officials. Such criticism is typically not difficult to find, especially the really blatant stuff. I won’t even bother linking you to any of the ranting and raving about other calls from Week 6′s games, especially since we’ve got perhaps the very best bad call of them all right here.

You know, there are bad missed calls — like that blatant block in the back by 49ers #56, Tavares Gooden, on this Ted Ginn, Jr. punt return that setup San Francisco’s game-winning drive against the Lions last Sunday. You can see it at around the 14 second mark in the above video, then again in better, slower detail at around 40 seconds.

Those kind of bad calls, I mean, they’re not really post-worthy. Ted Ginn, Jr. stepping out at the Lions 40, and then the officials placing the ball at the Lions 35 for no apparent reason, however…that’s post-worthy.

Perhaps Bobby Layne decided 9-straight wins was enough for Detroit...

I suppose if 49ers TE Delanie Walker’s game-winning score hadn’t gone for 5.999 yards on 4th and goal from the 6, even those 5 free yards the officials handed out eight plays earlier wouldn’t be that big a deal. After all, the Lions still had a chance to stop their opponent, and, despite there being under two minutes to play when they first got the ball back, Detroit even had two more chances on offense that they squandered.

Still, one has to wonder: Just how the f*ck does something like this happen at such a critical juncture in a National Football League game? Again, I’ll give the zebras the block in the back, despite how blatant it was — that kind of no-call happens every weekend. Spotting a team five yards inside their opponent’s half in the 4th quarter, though? Just really, really bizarre.

Hell, maybe it’s the Lions staff and/or players that need to be called out on this one. Inexcusable to allow stuff like this to happen in a game that literally came down to inches. Luckily for Schwartz and the Lions — and the refs — it looks like the post-game handshake blowup between Schwartz and Harbaugh will overshadow the gross negligence documented the video above.

When you’re currently 5-0, and own the NFL’s longest active winning streak at 9 games dating back to last year, it’s a lot easier to look back and laugh at some of your darker days. And I mean really dark. Like, 0-16, drafting three wide receivers in a row with your first overall pick dark.

That’s the kind of luxury Detroit Lions fans are afforded these days, and that’s exactly what they’re doing with this nice little parody of the critically acclaimed, baseball business-focused hit Moneyball.

Here, of course, former Lions General Manager Matt Millen plays the pivotal, Billy Beane-like role in shaping a franchise from the ground up via some rather unorthodox strategies. The results are vastly different, obviously, but, as Millen says at one point, it was still a team that could have changed the game forever (if they could have just won one game with those players back in 2007).

As expected there are a handful of historical inaccuracies. For instance, I think we all know the Lions would have been MUCH better a few years back if Matt Millen was actually relying on EA Sports/Madden for scouting/talent evaluations. There may also be a handful of jokes in here that will only register with Lions fans, but overall it’s pretty damn good.

I give it two Jim Schwartz fist pumps.

It started with widening the gap in education and scholastic aptitude in general. Then virtually insurmountable innovations in consumer electronics. Next came the complete and utter domination of the automobile industry, just prior to unveiling perhaps the most significant strides in genetic engineering to date.

Now, they’re shrinking vaginas and killing spermatozooms in one fell, over-the-counter swoop.  Do you even know know what spermatozooms are? I sure as hell don’t. But they do.

Time to awake up, America. Time to wake up, stop bitching about a 10% unemployment rate and ludicrously large national debt, and smell the lurbri cate the Far East is using to f*ck you in the ass. I mean, we’ve been trying to eradicate HIV/AIDS for what now, 30-plus years? They’re packaging the cure and placing it in a conspicuous box on the shelf at a Shanghai CVS.

Listen, we may never make the most reliable cars again, or the HDTV with the deepest blacks and best contrast ratio, but I’ll be damned if we’re gonna fall behind in the race to shrink c*nts.  Am I right?  Who’s with me?!? U-S-A! U-S-A!

Thanks to DBJ for the link to this oldie but goodie…

There wasn’t much to be particularly happy about on Rocky Top at the end the 1st half last Saturday evening. The Volunteers had played the Georgia Bulldogs to a somewhat pedestrian 6-6 stalemate heading into the locker room, but, nevertheless, there was still a lot of energy in the Knoxville night; still hope for the future and the second half of SEC football that lay ahead.

And then the band took the field.

Listen, we all know that halftime performances can be a bit drab, prompting the creative forces in charge to take risks; to think outside the box in an effort to keep butts in the bleachers and — if nothing else — help curb America’s growing obesity problem. Having said that, there is never a reasonable excuse for the liberties taken at Neyland Stadium over the weekend. Never a rational reason to subject 100,000+ rabid football fans to a Tennessee-themed reworking of Victor Fleming’s 1939 fantasy musical classic, The Wizard of Oz.

That’s right, Volunteer fans watched in captive horror as their “Pride of the Southland” marching band conducted a dialogue-rich reenactment of Dorothy and her dog “Smokey’s” trip down the “Checkerboard Road” in search of a way back to Rocky Top. Replete with embarrassingly lame jokes about Alabama, Kentucky, South Carolina, and even the evening’s guest in the form of the “Wicked Witch of Georgia,” I think they may have even thrown in a still incomprehensible jab at Texas A&M (around the 6:15 mark).

Out of bounds, Vols. Out. Of. Bounds.

Pat Summit, cast as the Good Witch, has every right to be upset

But wait, there’s more. Obviously not content with embarrassing merely themselves, someone in Tennessee’s music department decided that legendary Lady Vols basketball coach Pat Summit should be cast as the Good Witch (and the basketball team as the munchkins, apparently). Indeed, Coach Summit was even tasked with asking Neyland’s capacity crowd to click their heels three times and say “There’s no place like Rocky Top” (I’m not making that up; see around 7:00).

By now, of course, the Tennessee crowd was becoming cannibalistic. The kindest of Georgia fans probably offered their condolences, but most knew the damage was irreparable (and delighted in that fact). The positive energy had been sucked out of Neyland as quickly and as violently as Dorothy had been sucked into Oz.

With the home crowd still reeling from the ten minutes of halftime hell they’d just sat through, any home field advantage was now lost. Tennessee would go on to lose 20-12, gaining just 33 yards in the 2nd half, and in game that saw Georgia’s defense hold the Volunteers to -20 rushing yards for the entire contest. It may very well be only the second time in college football history where a marching band has played a pivotal role in the outcome of a game.

Leave the novel reinterpretations of The Wizard of Oz to bored Pink Floyd fans, okay, Vols?

Yeah, Madden Curse be damned, I was pretty stoked about getting a guy that was a top 5 RB in nearly all formats last year with pick 3.11 in a savvy, 12-team Fantasy draft I’ve been participating in for years. The fact that Hillis is a known hog wrestler and sports probably the best facemask in the NFL was an added bonus, of course.

However, apparently not content to let me enjoy the spoils of my draft success, today my friend, colleague and Fantasy Football competitor — The Gingerhead Man — decided to link me to the above video, which is currently featured at www.peytonhillis.com.

Needless to say, I was devastated. If the negative karma associated with such a display doesn’t mandate a drastic slump in Peyton’s performance this year, I’m not sure what possibly could. I mean, just where the f*ck is Peyton’s head at this year?

What’s next? Leaving shitty tips for hand to mouth hospitality industry workers at fine dining establishments, or something?

To be fair, based on the autographed helmet pictured above, whether or not that was the Peyton Hillis dropping a less than 10% tip is possibly in question. Whether or not Hillis has an 11-year old girl signing memorabilia for him is in question as well.

Either way, let’s just say I’m glad I had the wherewithal to pick up Montario Hardesty in the 13th.

In the interest of full disclosure, it’s also probably the only “hype” video Frump’s ever seen, but that fact doesn’t necessarily detract from its quality.

Indeed, this “neutral site” game in Atlanta’s Georgia dome is one of the marquee match ups of the 2011 College Football season’s opening weekend, so I guess the above theatrics are somewhat warranted. Notwithstanding the ever rising temperature of Georgia coach Mark Richt’s hot seat, the fact that the Broncos must win in order to preserve any realistic shot at a BCS Title berth means there’s plenty of savory plot lines to keep even the most casual of fans entertained. The start of Boise State QB Kellen Moore’s 2011 Heisman campaign is just gravy.

Right now most oddsmakers have the spread set at Boise State -3, Over/Under 52, which suggests this game will be a far cry from the teams’ last meeting in Athens back on September 3rd, 2005. The Dawgs dominated — despite the reservations of most “experts” — a clearly outmatched Boise team in Athens 48-13 back then, but a lot has changed over the past six years, and UGA fans would be foolish to expect a similar result on the 6th anniversary of that previous beat down.

That said, I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable for the Georgia faithful to expect a win, and there’ll be no surprises if this one to comes down to the last few possessions. The bigger surprise may very well come in the form of Georgia Sophomore QB Aaron Murray (Freshman All-American last year) outshining, however slightly, the likes of Heisman-hopeful Moore in what could easily become a shootout.

I like Georgia +3 here, and Over 52, with a scoreline that might look eerily similar to the inverse of last year’s Boise-Virginia Tech thriller. Here’s to hoping for, if nothing else, the same level of excitement/entertainment.

And I suppose we owe them some level of gratitude.

Now, I’m not sure how or why, but Frump apparently let this phenomenon pass it by. Yes, it seems over the past few years the student bodies of several esteemed academic institutions, including — but not limited to — Baylor, (somewhat esteemed) Florida State, and even Columbia Business School, have made numerous examples of relatively professional, marginally successful, and mildly bewildering YouTube recruitment videos.

Of course, as you see, none of them quite capture that particular, peculiar essence of “WTF” the way our Crimson Tide girls do up there.

Indeed, apparently not content nor wise enough to sit idly by in the midst of such endeavors, this panhellenic coalition of Greek forces at the University of Alabama made its very own “Going Greek” video, so to speak. Sadly, I’m not sure even Nick Saban — despite the blatant, pandering reference — could make this pitch a convincing one. I mean, “Friday,” was, like, so last week, ladies.

Thanks to the Admiral for “Going Greek” on this one.

If you’re one of Frumpzilla’s literally dozens of return readers, then this may come as a surprise, but — believe it or else — we generally don’t take pleasure in other people’s pain. Truth.

Having said that, sometimes said pain is apparently derived from such unreasonable, ridiculous sources that, well, I guess we simply can’t help ourselves.

Take the inordinate amount of pain experienced in the above video; it’s a classic example of this phenomenon. I mean, short of  being under the impression that a nuclear device was somehow implanted in that horse — one triggered by the equine choosing to backup and/or deciding to take a break — is there any rational reason susceptible to empathy for those hysterical (albeit hilarious) cries of “Run! Run!” ?  The huffing? The puffing? The Blair Witch Project-inspired cinematography?

I say no. Which, of course, is why I took such great pleasure from this incident. Save the fallen horse, obviously.

L-R: Alshon Jeffrey, Devin Taylor, Marcus Lattimore, Melvin Ingram

By nearly all accounts, South Carolina Gamecocks WR Alshon Jeffery is the best receiver in the SEC, if not the nation.

Already named to several preseason All-America teams, 2010′s Biletnikoff runner-up is poised for another BIG, high-flying, TD reception-filled season of Saturdays — assuming he isn’t moved to DE prior to the Gamecocks September 3rd opener against ECU that is.

Devin Taylor (#98)  is listed at 6’7″, 260; Jeffery (#1) at 6’4″, 239. Not buying it.

There’s just no way Devin’s got Alshon by 20+ pounds.  Indeed, it’s quite possible Mr. Jeffery has been stealing food from the Gamecocks’ First-Team SEC and All-American DE. That or Alshon simply bailed on South Carolina’s pre-season conditioning programs.

At this rate, ECU's Lance Lewis may prove to be the most dynamic WR on the field for the Pirates' opener against South Carolina

For a bit more perspective on Alshon’s alarming pooch, consider that Sophomore RB Marcus Lattimore checks in at around 6’0″, 232. With that in mind, I’m thinking Jeffrey’s pushing 270 right about now.

Either way, I doubt those moobs will affect Alshon’s performance too much this season — he’s got another 30-days to shape up for ECU, after all. Then again, I suppose it’s possible that Jeffery could be mailing his Junior year in to a certain degree; protecting himself for the 2012 NFL Draft, where he should be one of the first three WR’s off the board.

We’ll find out soon enough.  Until then, however, let’s call a spade a spade, and Alshon Jeffrey fat.  No need to sugar coat it. The proof is in the pudding, and so too, apparently, is Alshon Jeffery.

Thanks to the Admiral for the tip…