Coming this April, Ms. McCready is apparently starring in a pornographic moving picture entitled “Mindy McCready: Baseball Mistress.”  Unfortunately, The Rocket isn’t cast in a supporting roll; instead it’s some random guy conveniently named “Peter.”  Nevertheless, I imagine it’s not really the sex that’s gonna sell this one. No, for a change, it’s, shockingly, the dialogue.  Interviews, to be precise.

See, just when you thought The Rocket’s public image hadn’t suffered enough of a rogering already, as a bonus feature, McCready sits down for a heart to heart about a few of her former flames, and she apparently isn’t shy about the details.

For instance, let’s see…The Rocket apparently is a good lay, despite suffering from some fairly severe erectile dysfunction issues.  Not sure how the hell that works (you know, if “the rocket” ain’t exactly flyin’ and all), but bravo.  Oh, and former fiance Dean “Superman/Former Buffalo Bill” Cain?  Per McCready, yeah, he’s better “equipped” than Roger.  Take that, Clemens!

McCready apparently also goes on to say how she wishes she could meet Roger’s wife, presumably to apologize, because it’s clear to her now that Roger may not have been completely upfront with her about some things.  Go figure.  Also in a truly bizarre move that may very well end up getting her killed, McCready discloses her belief that Oprah is racist.  Boom!  If you’re gonna go down in flames, might as well shoot for the stars, right?

Seriously, though. I almost feel sorry for Roger at this point. Almost. Do you?

Source: Fox’s Pop Tarts

From the outfield acrobatics to the fidgety, fidgety, fidgety fingers to the fists of fury, this Red Sox guy will miss you, Coco.  Even though you went through slumps that the little-league mouth-breathing moron in right field never encountered, I’ll miss you.  Even though Jacoby “I’m Going to Plow, Plow, Plow Boston to the Ground Over the Next 10 Years” Ellsbury had to bail you out in the playoffs last year, I’ll miss you (You actually bailed Jacoby out this year–not that it mattered).  In all seriousness, you are one of the greatest DEFENSIVE center fielders I’ve ever seen.  So, here’s to you, Coco.  I’ll miss you.  Trade analysis after the jump.

Obviously, I’m late in my response to this, but the Sox received Ramon Ramirez, RHP, in the deal.  I have to admit, I don’t know much about him, but he did play for the Royals last year.  That means Peter Gammons and every other baseball analyst doesn’t know much about him either.  From what the numbers tell me, Theo’s done it again.  Three things:

1.  This is a great move for the Sox as they get another power arm to place in the bullpen.  This also gives them the flexibility to start Justin Masterson, and hopefully, I’ll never see Mike Timlin again.

2.  Let’s just go ahead and hand the centerfield keys to Ellsbury.  Hopefully, when he comes up for air in his pool full of LLLLLLLLLLLLLADIES, he can play a little ball.  Full time.  AND

3.  Ramirez is four years from arbitration.  Nuff said on that point.

So, I bid you adieu, Coco.  You’ll always be a Red Sock (Is that the correct term there?  I’ve never really understood that.  The singular seems ridiculous.  Evs) in my book. 

Flordia State and Standord open things up tomorrow at 2:00 pm ET, while Georgia and tournament favroite Miami occupy the night game slot at 7:00.  Both games can be seen on ESPN, and you can find the complete College World Series TV schedule here courtesy of Rivals.  You can also find team breakdowns, hisotry and analysis here.

I’ll obviously be pulling hard for my beloved Dawgs, who’ll be seeking their 2nd Baseball National Championship, but it sure as hell isn’t going to be easy for them to taste glory this time around.  Hopefully Miami will pull a “Big Brown” tonight, or maye Georgia can at least carry the momentum from their Super Regional win against N.C. State over to Omaha (Chuck Amato…?).  Prospects like the Dawgs’ Gordon Beckham (.401, 26 homers and 72 RBIs), the #8 overall pick in this year’s MLB Draft to the White Sox, and Miami’s Yonder Alonso (.367, 23 homers, 71 RBIs), who went 7th overall to the Reds, should make this game enjoyable even for the neutral spectator. 

Oh yeah, Miami had two other guys taken in the first round as well:  Jemile Weeks, Rickie’s little brother (#12 overall, Oakland), and reliever Carlos Gutierrez (#27 to the Twins).  No wonder they’re favorites to win it all.  Georgia actually had another 1st rounder this year in closer Josh Fields (#20 to Seattle).  I just hope they get a chance to use him.  A couple other first round picks to check out are Florida State catcher Buster Posey (.460, 26 homers, 92 RBIs (!), #5 to the Giants), and Stanford’s very own backstop, Jason Castro (.379, 13 homers, 69 RBIs, #10 to Houston).  The draft talent obvoiusly runs much deeper than the first round too, so the names mentioned here are really just the tip of the iceberg. 

Fresno State, the other Bulldogs making their way out to Omaha, could present a nice little storyline as well.  Having become the first Regional 4 Seed to reach the College World Series, it should be interesting to see how they fare now.  Of course, if you follow the general idea that Vegas knows best, at least more often than not, things don’t look particularly good for either squad of Bulldogs this year…

From Sportsbook.com 

Miami, 3-2
UNC, 5-2
FSU, 7-2
LSU, 9-2
Rice, 11-2
Stanford, 6-1
Georgia, 12-1
Fresno, 12-1

From Cappers Mall, via The Greek Sportsbook (I think)

Miami, +200
UNC, +250
FSU, +400
Rice, +450
LSU, +600
Stanford, +650
Georgia, +1000
Fresno, +1200

Some slight differences there I suppose, but it’s clear we should be expecting, as unfortunate as it is, a Miami vs UNC championship game.  Of course, in College Baseball, with metal bats, kids high on emotion, playing for glory instead of money, etc., etc., etc…you never know.

As George Costanza so eloquently stated:…”I’m back, baby!”  Sorry about the absence, loyal frumpsters.  I was…..er…..blow-drying my hair.

I stumbled upon this photo about a week or so ago.  Or maybe I saw it after this guy went yardworks on the Bo Sox.  I don’t remember.  What I do remember is thinking how the person responsible for this photo needs to be fired.  Shortly thereafter, I saw the East Coast Bias and Yardbarker commentaries on said photo.  Well, I’m weighing in, too. 

WTF!  LMAO!  ROFLMAO!  Sorry about that.  Is this one of those situations like the DMV where you are stuck with the finished product?  Do the Orioles have a person snapping picture after picture, barely paying attention to their craft?  Does he/she not provide a countdown?  I’m pretty sure this person could flip you the bird, in the picture, and there’s no remedy.  Bam!  On ESPN.com.  Front and center for the world to see–your player photo.  I mean, how pissed are his family members?  Way to go, Orioles player photo screwer-upper.  You just pissed off the grandparents. 

By the way, the Donk Spotter demands the countdown.  Every time.

Donk Spotter

I don’t think the above logo is at all official, but it works nonetheless. Regional action is slated to begin this afternoon in the 2008 NCAA Baseball Tournament.  My eyes are fixed primarily on the Athens (go dawgs), Raleigh, Cary, Conway and Tallahassee Regionals.  May even catch some of those games in person.  There are a lot of nice Super Regional pairings as well, but a Georgia-NC State matchup would be particularly enticing.  I’ll likely find myself on the road to Athens if that one happens to pan out

As for the Tallahassee Regional, well, as fate would have it, I actually have quite a few Water Lizards in my family (sad but true), and one of them happens to grace the mound for the Gators on a regular basis.  That said, though it pains me so, I’ll naturally continue to be a Florida baseball fan for the time being (at least until they face my Dawgs again).

You can examine the rest of the Regionals and Super Regional pairings here, and a complete schedule/scoreboard for all the Regional sites is here.  If you’re looking to get a feel for who the winners and losers will be from Vegas’ perspective, check out this page.  I promise the Tournament will be more intriguing than your run of the mill, Pre-All Star break MLB series (hopefully).

The YouTube video is simply here for effect.  MLB.com has a much more crisp, full flavored version.  I recommend the latter.  Enjoy.

That’s right, just when you thought it was own up time for The Rocket, it ends up being an essentially meaningless tease.  Clemens released a statement Sunday in which he apologized to his family and the public for all the personal mistakes he’s made.  The problem is Roger doesn’t define what in fact those mistakes were.  He does make it a point however, to deny that he ever used performance-enhancing drugs or had an improper relationship with a 15 year-old Mindy McCready.

“I know that many people want to know what I have to say about the recent articles in the media,” Clemens said in the statement. “Even though these articles contain many false accusations and mistakes, I need to say that I have made mistakes in my personal life for which I am sorry. I have apologized to my family and apologize to my fans. Like everyone, I have flaws. I have sometimes made choices which have not been right.”

Really?  You mean to say you’re actually human like the rest of us?  You’re apologizing for that time you forgot about your anniversary? What’s the point in any of this?

“Now, I have been accused of having an improper relationship with a fifteen-year-old girl. Nothing could be further from the truth. This relationship has been twisted and distorted far beyond reality. It is just one of many, many accusations that are utterly false.”

Read: Roger didn’t did give McCready “The Rocket” when she was 15; he waited ’til her Sweet 16, when she was “legal” in Florida.  Phew, now I feel better.

“I realize that many people want me to simply confess and apologize for the conduct that I have been accused of, but I cannot confess to, nor apologize for, things I did not do. I have apologized to my family for my mistakes. And having offered this apology to the public, I would ask that you let me and my family deal with these matters in private.”

Well, you just might have us there, Roge.  If you waited to give McCready the chin music ’til she was 16, there’s really no point in apologizing for bedding a “15 year-old”.  I see your point. 

And yeah, if you honestly felt that taking some innocuous vitamin injections in the ass helped you pull those back to back Cy’s at the age of 35, after winning only 40 games combined in the previous 4 seasons, then hey, you’re not technically a liar I suppose.  Just an ass.  I guess I see your point there too…

Well, I certainly didn’t, but, given what we’ve seen from Clemens over the past year or so, I guess I’m not all that surprised either.  According to the New York Daily News, “Roger Clemens carried on a decade-long affair with country star Mindy McCready; a romance that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer performing in a karaoke bar, and Clemens was a 28-year-old Red Sox ace and married father of two.”

Not saying that I keep tabs on such things, of course, but I believe the age of consent for females in Massachusetts is 16.  In Texas it’s 17.  So, depending on where this particular karaoke bar was, if all this turns out to be true, we may get to add the “rapist” tag to Clemens’ ever growing list of descriptors: “cheater”, “juicer”, “liar”, “perjurer”, “all-around douchebag”, to name a few.

The Clemens camp is already vehemently denying the report, obviously, saying that, while McReady was certainly a “close family friend,” the Rocket “never had a sexual relationship with her.”  That sounds eerily similar to another “sexual realtions” scandal we had a few years back, and how great will it be if this one unfolds in a similar manner.  Can things get any worse for this guy?

I typically don’t like to see iconic sports figures have such a steep fall from grace, especially ones that have accomplished what Clemens has, but then I have to remind myself of that 60 Minutes interview; where it became exceedingly clear to me that Clemens was lying through his teeth, unfazed.

But who knows? Perhaps I’m jumping the gun.  I certainly don’t have all the facts, but then all the facts aren’t made available.  Either way, Clemens’ general demeanor through all this makes it hard on fans that would otherwise be, at worst, sitting on the fence with regards to his legacy.  It’s not easy to feel sorry for him…

Don’t have much to say about this other than it’s nice to see that ESPN and MLB, unlike some other leagues and networks, had the foresight to not schedule this at the same time of today’s NCAA Tournament games.  Nice work, guys.  Or maybe we should be thanking CBS.  I don’t know, but, either way, it works.

Braves vs Nationals tonight at 8:00 on ESPN.  Won’t be the first official game of the season of course, the Red Sox and A’s had that honor earlier in the week over in Japan, but it will be the first on American soil.  Play ball (and go Braves…)!