Tag Archives: clay aiken

Cristiano Ronaldo Comes Out of the….I Mean, Becomes A Dad

July 8, 2010

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Cristiano Ronaldo’s World Cup with Portugal ended last week thanks to David Villa and Spain, however he is now embarking on a new chapter in his life. The Real Madrid star announced Saturday that he is going to be a proud papa! Just not the way you would’ve assumed.

Allegedly, his son was born via a surrogate in NYC. Via Ronaldo’s facebook, “As agreed with the baby’s mother, who prefers to have her identity kept confidential,” he writes, “my son will be under my exclusive guardianship.”

The baby’s mother wants to remain confidential??!?! Cristiano Ronaldo is arguably one of the biggest sports stars in the entire world and his baby’s mama doesn’t want anyone to know? Ok, I’ve already come to grips with the fact that he is the one that doesn’t want anyone to know, but why??

Let me preface this next point by saying, I understand people dress a bit differently in Western Europe. They never got the memo that bathing suits could be longer than 6 inches or that males don’t need to shave their entire body in order to be a man. I also admit, I don’t know much about the family values of the Portuguese. It may be that having children by the time you’re 25 is so important that tons of guys are trying to buy theirs without actually being in a relationship. With that being said, c’mon.

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Things God may or may not have written on his or her hand…

March 9, 2010

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Hey, as a disclaimer, we here at Frumpzilla don’t claim to know a whole buttload of crap about the Gospels, or God, or whatever, and if we do have an area of expertise (debatable), it’s certainly not theology.  That said, when faced with frumping about topics we happen to be particularly ignorant about, we feel it’s wiser to turn to an authority; someone intimately associated with the subject. In this case, Sarah Palin.

As I’m sure most of you know by now, Sarah Palin likes to write little reminders on her hand(s). She even references them during speeches and stuff. Sarah’s tried to make light of this, of course, and, to be fair, I’ve really never felt it was that big of a deal…until now.

A few days ago, Palin, apparently still a little self conscious about her hand notes, attempted to further rationalize the practice by citing the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 49, verse 16 which reads (in pertinent part):

Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands

Long story short, the Bible says God wrote on “his”  hand to help “him” remember things, which Sarah Palin has confirmed for us, and therefore Palin and her manual reminders are in good company.

Needless to say, I’m satisfied.  But what else might God, in his or her* infinite wisdom, have needed a handy little note to remind him or her to do?  Just about the entire Frumpzilla staff offers some suggestions for you (in no particular order) after the jump.  We’d love to hear some from you as well…

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