Tag Archives: Deadspin

At first I was happy about drafting Peyton Hillis in the 3rd Round, but then I saw this video…

August 30, 2011

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This child-like signature doesn't exactly match that on the receipt Yeah, Madden Curse be damned, I was pretty stoked about getting a guy that was a top 5 RB in nearly all formats last year with pick 3.11 in a savvy, 12-team Fantasy draft I’ve been participating in for years. The fact that Hillis is a known hog wrestler and sports probably the best facemask in the NFL was an added bonus, of course.

However, apparently not content to let me enjoy the spoils of my draft success, today my friend, colleague and Fantasy Football competitor — The Gingerhead Man — decided to link me to the above video, which is currently featured at www.peytonhillis.com.

Needless to say, I was devastated. If the negative karma associated with such a display doesn’t mandate a drastic slump in Peyton’s performance this year, I’m not sure what possibly could. I mean, just where the f*ck is Peyton’s head at this year?

What’s next? Leaving shitty tips for hand to mouth hospitality industry workers at fine dining establishments, or something?

To be fair, based on the autographed helmet pictured above, whether or not that was the Peyton Hillis dropping a less than 10% tip is possibly in question. Whether or not Hillis has an 11-year old girl signing memorabilia for him is in question as well.

Either way, let’s just say I’m glad I had the wherewithal to pick up Montario Hardesty in the 13th.

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Everyone Loves the Crazy Ump: Here’s some tips on how to become one yourself!

May 12, 2010

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So, The GingerHead Man contacted me today from Kuala Lumpur (he’s still on vacay).  Apparently, during his semi-daily perusal of Deadspin, he’d come across this fantastic video of “Norm the Umpire” breaking dozens of kids’ spirits — as any truly accomplished, melodramatic umpire should — on a weekly basis.

Well, this naturally gave rise to yet another discussion about my and The GingerHead Man’s lifelong ambition of one day becoming volunteer Little League umpires, and doing the exact same thing.  Only better.  That’s right, better.

Don’t get us wrong, Norm is pretty dang good, but he ain’t the best.  We open our case with what I like to call “The Macarena Master.”  Make the jump for several more…

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