As usual, I’m probably a bit late to the party with this one. After all, it was only so long ago that I first learned what the hell a “Juggalo” is. Nevertheless, how could I let this one go without even a passing Frump? Obviously, I couldn’t, but then I don’t think you’ll mind watching again if this isn’t the first time.

Now, as a disclaimer, I can’t say I’m the biggest Hip-Hop connoisseur in the world, so this may be off base, but is this video/song not one of the more ridiculous things you’ve ever seen/heard? I mean, I had to dig a bit just to make sure it wasn’t a joke (it isn’t).

The only thing left to decide at this point is which frumpin’ miracle has you the most perplexed. I’m torn between the pelican that tried to eat the cell phone on the San Francisco Bay (but then flew away) and, of course, magnets. How do those f*ck*in’ things work anyway?

Regardless, in case you were trying to keep track at home, I’ve compiled a list of all of ICP’s miracles after the jump…

• Oceans
• Stars
• Mountains
• Trees
• The Seven Seas
• Everything chillin’ under water
• Snow
• Rain
• Fog
• Long necked giraffes
• Pet Cats
• Pet Dogs
• Child birth
• The sun
• The moon
• Mars, even
• The Milky Way
• F*ck*ng shooting stars
• UFOs
• Rivers
• Niagra Falls
• The Pyramids of Giza
• Everything you believed in as a kid
• F*ck*n’ rainbows
• A pelican that tried to eat ICP’s cell phone somewhere along the San Francisco Bay
• Music (?)
• Pure, mother f*ck*n’ magic
• Water
• Fire
• Air
• Dirt
• F*ck*n’ magnets
• Solar eclipses
• Vicious weather
• 15,000 juggalos together
• Metamorphosis (not the Kafka work)
• Aesthetic likenesses related to similarities in genetic makeup
• Crows
• Ghosts
• The Midnight Coast
• The Wonders of the World (unclear as to ancient or modern)
• Mysteries (as in how in the hell this song made it out of the studio)

Thanks to Dbj for the link to the vid

1.  Why on earth is Curling separated into mutually exclusive Men’s and Women’s events?

I’ve been trying to figure this one out for quite some time, Frumpsters, and if someone has a legitimate answer (or even an illegitimate one), please let us know.  Let’s face it: there are a lot of “sports” in which men have a natural physical advantage over the better half of our species, and this often necessitates gender segregation in the realm of highly competitive athletic contests.  I won’t bother fleshing that notion out any further, because it goes without saying, and I do not apologize.

However, try as I might (and believe me, I’ve tried), I can’t for the life of me figure out how a man, or a woman for that matter, has or lacks any distinct advantage over the other when it comes to sliding a block of granite down a sheet of ice, and then subsequently directing teammates to scrub said ice with a broom in hopes of controlling the speed and spin of the stone.  Am I right?

I mean, I’m assuming, of course, that the primary (potentially exclusive) reason for gender segregation in sports is related to equal opportunity to compete/participate.  If that’s the case, why separate the Curling sexes?  Regardless, at least we get more Curling coverage under the current setup, which I’m sure makes Denmark’s Madeline Dupont very happy (however ironic that may be).

2.  Who engineered this concept of the  Short Track Relay?

Unfortunately, you really would have needed to see this event to know what I’m on about here.  And since NBC has Winter Olympic video locked down as if it were gold ingots in Fort Knox, if you didn’t, you may be a bit lost.

Nevertheless, for those that did have the chance to catch the Short Track Relay, I’m sure you, like me, were convinced that it’s one of the bigger logistical cock-ups since Washington D.C.  What a nightmare.

I wouldn’t be so perplexed by this one if it weren’t for teams getting disqualified for the slightest bumps and nudges on opponents.  Especially given we’re talking about an event that seems it was designed with a little contact in mind.  I mean, you’ve got, what, up to 16 skaters merging in and out of the rink at one time?  And the “relay” element of the event involves being pushed/boosted by your teammate as you’re about to start a lap?

I almost expect this event to become Roller-Derby on Ice within the next 50 years or so.  You heard it here first.

3.  Why aren’t we (the United States) more competitive in the Biathlon?

This one is truly bizarre.  Do Americans like to ski?  Check.  Are we pretty dang good at nearly every other event that incorporates some sort of skiing?  Check.  Is our society and culture relatively wrapped up and saturated with the allure and controversy of semi-automatic weapons?  Check plus…and yet the U.S. has never sniffed sweet Biathlon Gold, or even medaled at all.

Seriously, someone needs to get the NRA on this, or something.  The Biathlon has been an official Olympic event since 1960 (was on a trial basis since the 20′s) and we’ve never even medaled?  That’s Men’s, Women’s, singles, relays, etc. etc. etc., too.

This is particularly disturbing since it seems so right up our alley.  I mean, cross-country skiing combined with intermittent sessions of rifle range practice?  Where’s Chuck Heston when you need him?

4.  Just what the hell is going on in the Two Man Luge?

Listen, I’m actually not going for the cheap, obvious joke here.  It’s too easy.  I’m genuinely wondering what in god’s name someone had to be thinking when they came up with the idea for the Two Man Luge.

Most athletic competitions involve some sort of practical aspect to them; some relatively ascertainable element of measurement that actually means something to competitors and spectators alike.  Something to take pride in.

You know, the first down-hill skiers probably said: “Hey, I bet I can finish this course faster than you.”  That meant something.  The first figure skaters: “Hey, I bet I’m more graceful and less mistake prone than you on the ice, and can dress more ridiculously than you to boot.”  That meant something.  Even the first lugers: “Hey, I bet I can navigate this track on my sled faster than you.”  That meant something, too.  But who the heck said, essentially, “Hey, I bet I can luge this track faster than you…while Sven is riding on top of me, reverse cowboy style.  Lars can ride on you.”  Mind boggling.

Honestly, is the Two Man Luge really any less ridiculous than some hair-brained idea like the Piggy-Back Slalom, or something?  I’m sure I’m missing the point here, so please feel free to set me straight.

5.  Who at NBC signed off on their coverage of the Closing Ceremonies being appropriate?

Obviously not satisfied with selling Conan O’Brien short, NBC also decided to half-ass its support and coverage of the 2010 Game’s grand finale…in order to show the premier of Jerry Seinfeld’s new reality show, The Marriage Counselor (no wonder Seinfeld was so lukewarm about the shakeup).

I’m just glad I wasn’t the only one thrown for a loop by this.  Nearly 1,000 hours of Winter Olympic coverage, and that was the best NBC could do?  Tune back in at 30 minutes to midnight?  On a Sunday?  To be fair, did I really feel shafted by missing out on performances from Avril Lavigne and Nickelback?  No.  A nice little melodramatic montage of tears, celebratory evocations and the like would have been nice, though.

Then again, it’s NBC.  It’s Seinfeld.  I guess I shouldn’t be all that surprised.

]]> http://www.frumpzilla.com/frumpzilla_site/articles/5-curiou-questions-about-the-winter-olympics/feed/ 7 http://www.frumpzilla.com/frumpzilla_site/articles/10-gripes-about-rolling-stones-100-greatest-albums-of-the-decade/ http://www.frumpzilla.com/frumpzilla_site/articles/10-gripes-about-rolling-stones-100-greatest-albums-of-the-decade/#comments Wed, 16 Dec 2009 06:26:00 +0000 Ciaran http://www.yieldtofrump.frumpzilla.com/index.php/frumpzilla_site/articles/10-gripes-about-rolling-stones-100-greatest-albums-of-the-decade/ So Rolling Stone recently published its 100 Best Albums of the Decade: The most important music of the 00′s as chosen by more than 100 artists, critics and industry insiders.  As few of you likely remember, I love lists.  Who doesn’t, really?  On top of that, I’ve actually enjoyed perusing many of Rolling Stone’s popular lists released as of late:  The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time, The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time, etc.  Having said that, however, I’ve always delved in fully aware of how polarizing lists on such personal taste based, subjective topics can be.  Who’s to say, after all, that one album is “better” or more “important” than another?  I mean, sure, we all could, but what does it really mean?  What should it mean?

In that same vein, I write now fully aware of just how sensitive and potentially meaningless the pursuit of disparaging such a list is.  Nevertheless, after taking a gander at the list in question here, I felt I simply had no choice but to put my foot down…you know, acknowledge that my taste in music really is more sound and respectable than these sheep; these poor, misguided fools that contributed to this horror of a list. 

Frump it here for some elaboration on this…in, topical, list form, of course (and, yes, the video below is by all means a teaser).

1. Kings of Leon made the list – Seriously, did you just watch that video?  Listen, coordinated family activities are great, but 4 evangelical brothers from Tennessee making music videos, let alone music, like that is just creepy. I won’t even talk about just how over exposed “KOL” shit has become at this point.  Actually, I will. 

Everyone knows that the wisest of all men are, more often than not, found sitting alone at a bar, staring off into what one imagines must be quite a liquor laced, however vacant, sunset horizon.  I recently heard one such wiseman quip “If I hear that god damned ‘Sex on Fire’ song one more time tonight, somebody’s gonna have hell to pay.”  I believed him (and saw what he did there).  Unfortunately, others didn’t.  I saw a 22 year-old coed get punched right in the face that night.  KOL…people get hurt that way.

2. An album called FutureSex/LoveSounds is #46 – People, the last former boyband member to do anything of musical artistic significance was some guy/gal named Michael Jackson.  Remember how that all panned out in the end?  Even if we give JT a pass for how ridiculous the title of this album is (and how hot Jessica Biel is), let’s face it: In the future, say, 20 years from now, “My dick in a box” and various other SNL appearances will be more readily recalled and held close to heart than anything off this record.

3. Phoenix’s Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix got the nod here – I’m actually a big Phoenix fan, don’t get me wrong.  The problem is that they have at least 2, possibly 3, other studio albums this decade that are better than this, their most recent effort.  Not that Wolfgang is bad, but listen to United or It’s Never Been Like That before you start humming Phoenix lyrics at your local Cadilac dealership…Not to mention requesting a cut from your local Top 40 station.

4. Nickelback didn’t make the list – Wait…just wait one gosh darn minute.  No, I’m not even remotely suggesting that Nickelback ought to have been included here.  Just saying that, given some of the other stuff that made the cut, it seems Canada’s hardest headed finest would have been an appropriate selection.  Enough said.

5. Kings of Leon made the list more than once – See #1 above, as well as the video below.  Sigh…

6. Not a single album from any of the following artists made the list – Super Furry Animals, Iron & Wine, Of Montreal, Sparklehorse, The Wrens, Panda Bear, Drive By Truckers, British Sea Power, Grizzly Bear, Animal Collective…I could go on, but I’ll be kind and spare you. 

Seriously, I’d of taken just one, not one from each, just one from any of those bands.  And don’t suggest I’m digging purely on obscure personal taste, or something.  Far from it.  If you’re easily satisfied/at least made content by 3rd party perspective in such potential disputes (and you should be), just check out some of this decade’s End of Year lists from other publications (Mojo, Spin, Paste, etc.).

7. Rolling Stone made a “Best of Decade” list before the decade is even over – Okay, that may be nitpicking a bit, but shouldn’t we be waiting at least another decade before we start declaring what the most “important” albums of this decade were?  A “great” album can take many forms, especially when you’re working within the spectrum of a decade.  It could be one that isn’t particularly groundbreaking or revolutionary, but is at least packed with solid tracks from start to finish.  A “no skip disk,” if you will, and, in my opinion, that’s an all too rare find these days. 

On the other hand, a great album could also be one that isn’t as consistently “listenable” as the aforementioned suspect, yet seems to be tapping into uncharted sonic waters, or at least fusing previously distinct, unblended influences into a new, expansive and ultimately enjoyable aural experience. 

The best, of course, are the ones that are successful on both fronts, and almost always, hopefully, forge a new movement and artistic direction for their respective genre as a whole.  The problems here is, we need some time to let this stuff sink in; see what kind “staying power” and lasting appeal it has.  Tell you what, check back with us in 2030 to let us know how many of these albums would still make the list…or at least can evoke a “yeah, I’ve heard of them” from your kids.

8. There are 4 Radiohead albums on here – I like Radiohead, I do.  I respect them.  They obviously deserve recognition here, but they’re not our Beatles, or whatever.  They just aren’t, and they never will be.  I don’t have the space or time to get into it here, so you’re just gonna have to take my word for it. 

Just rest assured that it’s unacceptable for them to have occupied four slots on any Top 100 list for the 2000′s, notwithstanding anything discussed above.  It’s time people stopped cupping Thom Yorke and Company’s balls.  Seriously, Radiohead is the Tim Tebow of the music press, and it’s time to move on.

9.  U2, two too many times -What is this, 1987?  1991?  Oh, and, though the humanitarian stuff is certainly welcome, Bono is a pompous ass.

10. 3 of the 4 Kings of Leon albums known to exist are on this list – I’m really at a loss at this point.  I mean, I had laughed a bit to myself when I got to #53 Only by Night, KOL’s 2nd tally, but when I got to #80 and saw Youth and Young Manhood, well, let’s just say I was broken.  Seriously, just how bad must Because of the Times, the lone outlier, be?