Tag Archives: patrick swayze

Pic of the Day: The Beginner’s Guide to Sex in the Afterlife

March 14, 2011

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The Beginner's Guide to Sex in the After Life -- about as useful as Cooking with Cum

To say I was a tad suspicious of this work upon first impression would be an under statement. I mean, I just knew there was no way any publishing house would provide the financial backing for even the most modest of initial pressings of The Beginner’s Guide to Sex in the Afterlife: An Exploration of the Extraordinary Potential of Sexual Energy.

But then I also made the same mistake about Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes, didn’t I?  And we all know how that turned out.

Sure enough, you can buy David Staume’s, Llewellyn Publications-published guide to sex in the afterlife right over at Amazon, and for just $10.40. $8.76 on Kindle.

There’s probably a “good” Patrick Swayze joke in here somewhere, but I’ll leave that to you. Possible chapter titles are welcomed, too…

 

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Things God may or may not have written on his or her hand…

March 9, 2010

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Hey, as a disclaimer, we here at Frumpzilla don’t claim to know a whole buttload of crap about the Gospels, or God, or whatever, and if we do have an area of expertise (debatable), it’s certainly not theology.  That said, when faced with frumping about topics we happen to be particularly ignorant about, we feel it’s wiser to turn to an authority; someone intimately associated with the subject. In this case, Sarah Palin.

As I’m sure most of you know by now, Sarah Palin likes to write little reminders on her hand(s). She even references them during speeches and stuff. Sarah’s tried to make light of this, of course, and, to be fair, I’ve really never felt it was that big of a deal…until now.

A few days ago, Palin, apparently still a little self conscious about her hand notes, attempted to further rationalize the practice by citing the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 49, verse 16 which reads (in pertinent part):

Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands

Long story short, the Bible says God wrote on “his”  hand to help “him” remember things, which Sarah Palin has confirmed for us, and therefore Palin and her manual reminders are in good company.

Needless to say, I’m satisfied.  But what else might God, in his or her* infinite wisdom, have needed a handy little note to remind him or her to do?  Just about the entire Frumpzilla staff offers some suggestions for you (in no particular order) after the jump.  We’d love to hear some from you as well…

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