Tag Archives: Portugal

Cristiano Ronaldo Comes Out of the….I Mean, Becomes A Dad

July 8, 2010


Cristiano Ronaldo’s World Cup with Portugal ended last week thanks to David Villa and Spain, however he is now embarking on a new chapter in his life. The Real Madrid star announced Saturday that he is going to be a proud papa! Just not the way you would’ve assumed.

Allegedly, his son was born via a surrogate in NYC. Via Ronaldo’s facebook, “As agreed with the baby’s mother, who prefers to have her identity kept confidential,” he writes, “my son will be under my exclusive guardianship.”

The baby’s mother wants to remain confidential??!?! Cristiano Ronaldo is arguably one of the biggest sports stars in the entire world and his baby’s mama doesn’t want anyone to know? Ok, I’ve already come to grips with the fact that he is the one that doesn’t want anyone to know, but why??

Let me preface this next point by saying, I understand people dress a bit differently in Western Europe. They never got the memo that bathing suits could be longer than 6 inches or that males don’t need to shave their entire body in order to be a man. I also admit, I don’t know much about the family values of the Portuguese. It may be that having children by the time you’re 25 is so important that tons of guys are trying to buy theirs without actually being in a relationship. With that being said, c’mon.


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So Long, Simão Sabrosa…

June 30, 2010

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So long Simao SabrosaWell, at least to your World Cup days (most likely). Yes, one of the most recognizable and prolific Portuguese players of his generation, Simão will be pushing 35 years of age by the time we reach Rio in 2014.  Now, that doesn’t mean a 3rd World Cup appearance — a 4th if not for an injury in 2002 — for the former Sporting, Barcelona, Benfica and current Atlético Madrid star is impossible, but it’s gonna be a rather steep uphill battle, especially given he plays primarily as a winger.

So, given Portugal’s elimination at the hands of their Iberian neighbors, Spain, yesterday, I figured now would be a perfect time to bid Simão’s days gracing soccer’s biggest stage, “adeus” — and in as grandiose a manner possible. I’m talking, of course, about Univision Fútbol play-by-play man extraordinaire Pablo Ramirez, and his apparent oral infatuation with Simão.

Seriously, whether we’re talking about having a foot in golazos; exquisite runs both on and off the ball; drawing fouls; or even just casually switching play across the pitch, if Simão is involved, you can bet your bottom peso that Ramirez is aroused, or something.  I mean, I guess it really does roll quite nicely off the tongue, right? Perhaps a bit too easily for Ramirez, but pretty dang exciting nonetheless.

Check out this fantastic compilation from the 2006 World Cup, and be on the look out for anything from 2010. There’s been several gems, I just can’t seem to find any clips…

Many thanks to The Hurricane for the video.

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Kim Kardashian and Cristiano Ronaldo are a couple…

April 16, 2010


And it’s a official, according to Perez Hilton. While it’s certainly disheartening that my chances with Kim have now apparently been shot down, at least, as Perez says, this is still quite an upgrade from Reggie. Why? Money, obviously.

Absent endorsements, Real Madrid’s, Madeira born Winger rakes in close to $18 million annually. The sum of Bush’s salary in three of his four years with the Saints doesn’t eclipse that amount, so I’m confident Kim should feel well taken care of.  Good timing, too, given that Ronaldo is about to star on the sports world’s biggest stage: This summer’s 2010 World Cup.

Let’s just hope Ronaldo’s newly acquired assets aren’t such a distraction that they contribute to a paltry pitch performance…

Kim Kardashian and Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo are a couple Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo is dating Kim Kardashian

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