Let’s just say “Santa” is likely up to his eyeballs with mini-giraffe requests this year. I’m also pretty sure the ad forced many Americans — however benevolently — to actually look up the word “opulence,” and that’s a good thing.
Now, just to make sure no one here in the good ole U-S of A was left with the impression that those Commie bastards actually “won” — that being surrounded by gold busts, beautiful women, and genetically modified wildlife was the norm behind the former Iron Curtain — Frump felt it prudent to highlight incidents like this.
Frump recently brought you video of an epic brouhaha at a San Francisco McDonald’s – The Giants Game 2 win over the Rangers in the World Series apparently riled up the locals moreso than usual.
Now, I’m not sure why, but I guess I’ve always considered Subway a somewhat “classier” eatery – at least as far as fast food goes. If nothing else, it’s healthier, right? Jared proves that. But, yeah, maybe we should just leave it at healthier.
It’s not abundantly clear what set this dude off. I mean, as far as I know, Subway’s still running that fantastic Five Dollar Footlong special, so that’s out. Here’s what we do know, however:
Someone apparently asked to see this guy’s ass
This didn’t sit well with him
He may or may not have an irrational fear of telephone cords
In this young man’s lingo, “Getting nuclar up in here” apparently refers to missing wildly with cheap-shot haymakers
After getting wailed on by someone in a University of Texas hoodie (how embarrassing!), he felt it wise to start an illegal, street fighting gambling ring
One month’s salary to this young man is apparently $100
If a Fast Food Fight ensues, don’t bet on the outcome – Just take “Yes” on the prop “Will someone take their shirt off?”
Public intoxication – and/or being a really big douche – can lead to getting tasered
It’s safe to assume – right or wrong – that the cops will always have an itchy trigger finger