Last year’s Vanderbilt-Georgia game nearly saw the Commodores upset the Dawgs in Nashville. As you’ll see below, it also nearly saw Vandy head coach James Franklin get his head ripped off by enraged UGA defensive coordinator Todd Grantham. Fortunately, the end result was simply Georgia head coach Mark Richt getting a face full of “whine” from Franklin, but there’s little doubt tensions remain.
First and foremost, let Frump make this clear: We don’t know if this picture is actually of Georgia’s Heisman Hopeful quarterback, and all around good guy, Aaron Murray. Moreover, we’re not claiming it is. We just know that a lot of folks are. And, of course, that just about anything is possible on Spring Break.
Assuming that is Murray with the epic “deer in headlights” look up there, the good news is that his most serious offense appears to be failing to use a coaster in such a classy establishment. That and maybe not locking the door.
Sure, one might question just what the hell that other dude is doing in the bed beside him, but Frump’s not here to pass judgement on anyone’s fetishes. Especially while on Spring Break.
Listen, we’ve all known that guy that’s with that girl. That girl that, you know, despite whatever good qualities she may have, just kind of makes you feel a little sorry for said guy when it’s time to go home. The guy that’s just kind of hanging on. Lost. Waiting, hoping for some guidance or impetus. Some way out of what at least seems to be an inescapable situation. Well, that guy may very well be Auburn Offensive Coordinator Gus Malzahn.
As you can see from the video above, Kristi Malzahn is, well, quite a handful, and her little Christ-side chat with Dr. Ronnie Floyd at The Summit (a Southern Baptist megachurch conference for evangelical-leaning Christians) shed quite a bit of light on several issues (in chronological order):
How bad it sucks to raise kids
How bad the Auburn fanbase sucks
How bad Lou Holtz’s slurred speech sucks
Why Gus Malzahn spends so many late nights at the office
How bad it sucked that Auburn only scored 22 points in its win over Oregon for the 2010 BCS Championship, and why Gus Malzahn sucks because of it
Kristi Malzahn’s secret, forbidden love for Cam Newton
How Cam Newton was recruited for less than two weeks
How bad Auburn running back Michael Dyer sucks
Potential recruiting violations
More potential recruiting violations
The level of intelligence of Auburn’s football team, and the populace of the State of Alabama in general
The intensity of the Alabama-Auburn rivalry, and how much it sucks
Even more potential recruiting violations committed by Auburn’s football program
There wasn’t much to be particularly happy about on Rocky Top at the end the 1st half last Saturday evening. The Volunteers had played the Georgia Bulldogs to a somewhat pedestrian 6-6 stalemate heading into the locker room, but, nevertheless, there was still a lot of energy in the Knoxville night; still hope for the future and the second half of SEC football that lay ahead.
And then the band took the field.
Listen, we all know that halftime performances can be a bit drab, prompting the creative forces in charge to take risks; to think outside the box in an effort to keep butts in the bleachers and — if nothing else — help curb America’s growing obesity problem. Having said that, there is never a reasonable excuse for the liberties taken at Neyland Stadium over the weekend. Never a rational reason to subject 100,000+ rabid football fans to a Tennessee-themed reworking of Victor Fleming’s 1939 fantasy musical classic, The Wizard of Oz.
That’s right, Volunteer fans watched in captive horror as their “Pride of the Southland” marching band conducted a dialogue-rich reenactment of Dorothy and her dog “Smokey’s” trip down the “Checkerboard Road” in search of a way back to Rocky Top. Replete with embarrassingly lame jokes about Alabama, Kentucky, South Carolina, and even the evening’s guest in the form of the “Wicked Witch of Georgia,” I think they may have even thrown in a still incomprehensible jab at Texas A&M (around the 6:15 mark).
Out of bounds, Vols. Out. Of. Bounds.
Pat Summit, cast as the Good Witch, has every right to be upset
But wait, there’s more. Obviously not content with embarrassing merely themselves, someone in Tennessee’s music department decided that legendary Lady Vols basketball coach Pat Summit should be cast as the Good Witch (and the basketball team as the munchkins, apparently). Indeed, Coach Summit was even tasked with asking Neyland’s capacity crowd to click their heels three times and say “There’s no place like Rocky Top” (I’m not making that up; see around 7:00).
By now, of course, the Tennessee crowd was becoming cannibalistic. The kindest of Georgia fans probably offered their condolences, but most knew the damage was irreparable (and delighted in that fact). The positive energy had been sucked out of Neyland as quickly and as violently as Dorothy had been sucked into Oz.
With the home crowd still reeling from the ten minutes of halftime hell they’d just sat through, any home field advantage was now lost. Tennessee would go on to lose 20-12, gaining just 33 yards in the 2nd half, and in game that saw Georgia’s defense hold the Volunteers to -20 rushing yards for the entire contest. It may very well be only the second time in college football history where a marching band has played a pivotal role in the outcome of a game.
Leave the novel reinterpretations of The Wizard of Oz to bored Pink Floyd fans, okay, Vols?
In the interest of full disclosure, it’s also probably the only “hype” video Frump’s ever seen, but that fact doesn’t necessarily detract from its quality.
Indeed, this “neutral site” game in Atlanta’s Georgia dome is one of the marquee match ups of the 2011 College Football season’s opening weekend, so I guess the above theatrics are somewhat warranted. Notwithstanding the ever rising temperature of Georgia coach Mark Richt’s hot seat, the fact that the Broncos must win in order to preserve any realistic shot at a BCS Title berth means there’s plenty of savory plot lines to keep even the most casual of fans entertained. The start of Boise State QB Kellen Moore’s 2011 Heisman campaign is just gravy.
Right now most oddsmakers have the spread set at Boise State -3, Over/Under 52, which suggests this game will be a far cry from the teams’ last meeting in Athens back on September 3rd, 2005. The Dawgs dominated — despite the reservations of most “experts” — a clearly outmatched Boise team in Athens 48-13 back then, but a lot has changed over the past six years, and UGA fans would be foolish to expect a similar result on the 6th anniversary of that previous beat down.
That said, I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable for the Georgia faithful to expect a win, and there’ll be no surprises if this one to comes down to the last few possessions. The bigger surprise may very well come in the form of Georgia Sophomore QB Aaron Murray (Freshman All-American last year) outshining, however slightly, the likes of Heisman-hopeful Moore in what could easily become a shootout.
I like Georgia +3 here, and Over 52, with a scoreline that might look eerily similar to the inverse of last year’s Boise-Virginia Tech thriller. Here’s to hoping for, if nothing else, the same level of excitement/entertainment.
L-R: Alshon Jeffrey, Devin Taylor, Marcus Lattimore, Melvin Ingram
By nearly all accounts, South Carolina Gamecocks WR Alshon Jeffery is the best receiver in the SEC, if not the nation.
Already named to several preseason All-America teams, 2010’s Biletnikoff runner-up is poised for another BIG, high-flying, TD reception-filled season of Saturdays — assuming he isn’t moved to DE prior to the Gamecocks September 3rd opener against ECU that is.
Devin Taylor (#98) is listed at 6’7″, 260; Jeffery (#1) at 6’4″, 239. Not buying it.
There’s just no way Devin’s got Alshon by 20+ pounds. Indeed, it’s quite possible Mr. Jeffery has been stealing food from the Gamecocks’ First-Team SEC and All-American DE. That or Alshon simply bailed on South Carolina’s pre-season conditioning programs.
At this rate, ECU's Lance Lewis may prove to be the most dynamic WR on the field for the Pirates' opener against South Carolina
For a bit more perspective on Alshon’s alarming pooch, consider that Sophomore RB Marcus Lattimore checks in at around 6’0″, 232. With that in mind, I’m thinking Jeffrey’s pushing 270 right about now.
Either way, I doubt those moobs will affect Alshon’s performance too much this season — he’s got another 30-days to shape up for ECU, after all. Then again, I suppose it’s possible that Jeffery could be mailing his Junior year in to a certain degree; protecting himself for the 2012 NFL Draft, where he should be one of the first three WR’s off the board.
We’ll find out soon enough. Until then, however, let’s call a spade a spade, and Alshon Jeffrey fat. No need to sugar coat it. The proof is in the pudding, and so too, apparently, is Alshon Jeffery.
Yes, that’s apparently Daylen you see up there getting into his 3-point stance around the 1:45 mark. Him again, moments later, performing a textbook tackle on that killjoy of a hotel security guard. Hall was eventually apprehended.
Now, taking the whole assault and battery of a peace officer bit out of it, one has to admit this is otherwise pretty dang hilarious. Spring Break, Panama City — kids these days, right?
Probably not the face Joker was wearing when he watched Daylen's P.C. highlights
Well, something tells me Kentucky coach Joker Phillips — however ironically — may not find as much humor in this incident as Daylen and his St. Xavier teammates did. We’ll see.
Fingers crossed for the kid and his scholarship offer to Kentucky — that is, while this unfortunate lapse in judgment certainly should serve as a good learning experience, I hope it doesn’t have to be a particularly draconian one.
Unfortunately, I can’t escape the feeling that if Daylen got out of P.C.B. VD-free, he may have no choice but to consider Spring Break 2011 a relative success.
Thanks to YouTube user lionsmgr for what appears to be the original footage and some additional background info. The comments on that video — many of which appear to be from eyewitnesses — are also quite entertaining…
Sure, we as college football fans can choose to ignore a lot of things, but it’s hard to overlook the fact that the Auburn Tigers’ 22-19 victory over the Oregon Ducks marks the 5th straight BCS Championship for a team from the Southeastern Conference; a conference that now possesses 7 of the 13 Crystal Eggs awarded since the Bowl Championship Series’ inception back in 1998.
Here’s the breakdown:
1998: Tennessee (Beat Florida State 23-16)
2003: LSU (Beat Oklahoma 21-14)
2006: Florida (Beat Ohio State 41-14)
2007: LSU (Beat Ohio State 38-24)
2008: Florida (Beat Oklahoma 24-14)
2009: Alabama (Beat Texas 37-21)
2010: Auburn (Beat Oregon 22-19)
Now, considering there are five other conferences that are supposed to have a realistic shot at winning this thing — and the next best showing by any of them is the Big 12’s two Crystal Eggs — isn’t the SEC’s dominance of this party teetering on the precipice of preposterousness?
I wish I could say the absurdity of it all ended there, by merely looking at the actual champions, but it doesn’t. In fact, some of the SEC’s “misses” — within the context of its hits and intra-conference dynamics — actually add fuel to the fire…
The Volunteers clearly weren’t able to finish UNC on the field — I’d say they went as far as snatching defeat from the jowls of victory even — but you never would have known it from watching some of their players’ taunting gestures and antics throughout the game.
As seen above, Tennessee signal caller Tyler Bray was no exception to this unsportsmanlike behavior, and his lack of couth came back to haunt him in rather cathartic fashion.
Yeah, if you’re going to be as bold as the “throat slash” before it’s all said and done, you’ve got to be able to choke back the tears if and when the proverbial blade is pressed to your neck, dude. Pitiful.
Given he was up against the SEC’s best pass rush, I’m not sure why Gus Malzahn’s offensive gameplan was so obviously geared toward letting Cam Newton toss the ball all over the field tonight. Then again, how could one argue with the results?
Up until tonight’s dismantling of SEC East representative South Carolina, I had severe reservations about Cam Newton’s ability to perform as a pure passer, particularly at the next level.
Call me crazy, but I think it’s time I put those worries to rest, and rather safely at that.
See, I typically drive a hard bargain, but, right or wrong, 17/28 for 335 yards and 4 TD’s — plus two additional TD’s on the ground — in the SEC Championship is enough to make me a believer. Call it the straw that broke this camel’s back, if nothing else, I suppose.
Auburn didn’t seem to need its phenomenal running game tonight — the mere threat of it was enough to open up countless opportunities for the War Eagle passing attack, and the five guys charged with protecting their reformed superstar’s backside chipped in with a fantastic performance.
Most importantly, however, Newton — who’s now all but certain to become Auburn University’s 3rd Heisman Trophy winner (see Pat Sullivan and Bo Jackson) — almost invariably made the most of it. Spurrier’s Gamecocks never even had a fighting chance.
So yeah: Newton proved he’s worth his weight in gold tonight — at least the $180,000 Mississippi State was asked to pay for his services.
The fact that Auburn apparently got Cam for free — well, let’s just say Starkville must be feeling pretty dang jilted right about now. Gainesville, too…
Whether it’s due to being an alumnus of a bitter rival (The University of Georgia), or because he’s allegedly just another pawn in the game of the Worldwide Leader’s apparently evil, agenda driven sports coverage, it’s clear that fans on The Plains aren’t terribly taken by Mark Schlabach.
Maybe it’s because Mark had the audacity to write something so obviously biased against poor ole Cam Newton. I don’t know, but the chants of “You suck!,” “Tell the truth!,” and “You’re terrible!” have never better exemplified the class and nobility of Auburn Tiger/War Eagle/Flying War Tiger fans.
I mean, YouTube user stagman1’s description of this video really nails it, yeah?:
“Journalist,” Mark Schlabach receives less than warm welcome from Auburn fans shortly after feeding misinformation to the media in a well-timed smear campaign against Auburn’s Heisman front-runner, Cam Newton.
Oh, by the way, in case you didn’t notice, the #sarcasm tag is tautly attached to this post…
Given I wasn’t raised in or particularly near a hotbed of professional franchises, I may be a bit biased, but – for me – there’s nothing quite like a great college sports rivalry.
There’s really too many established ones out there to try and list or flippantly single out some over others, and maybe that fact tends to water down their broad media appeal in comparison to, say, the Yankees-Red Sox types within the “American Sports Rivalries Universe.”
Nevertheless, there’s no denying that the bitterness and passion of even the most heralded of professional sports rivalries is often matched, if not eclipsed, by their collegiate cousins. In fact, some may even transcend to a level previously thought to be only mythical in nature: Genetics…
#1 Alabama and #17 Auburn – both currently undefeated – square off in this year’s “Iron Bowl” on November 26th, the last game of the season for each. If both happen to remain unbeaten – HIGHLY unlikely – we’d be treated to what could probably be the most epic edition in the series’ history.
Alabama still has games against #10 Arkansas, #9 Florida, #12 South Carolina – in succession – and #15 LSU. Auburn still has #12 South Carolina, #10 Araksnas, #15 LSU and, yet another traditional rival, struggling Georgia prior to facing off against the Crimson Tide. Gotta love SEC football…
Tentative Predictions. They’re kind of like “Fearless” predictions, except we’d never advocate laying real money down — tisk, tisk: gambling is likely illegal in your great State, Frumpster — and we actually provide our readers with some ways to rationalize failure should these picks not come through.
College Football’s opening weekend saw Frump go a disappointing 3-3 ATS. We didn’t blog our picks beforehand — like we are this week — but we tweeted about it quite a bit, so don’t accuse us of making that stellar record up, okay?
Virginia Tech +1.5, Louisiana-Lafayette +29.5, and LSU -9.5 cost us, and keep us at .500 for the season, but this week we’ve got another 6 games that should push us into the green. If not, well, feel free to use one or more of the Cowardly Cop-Outs provided below.
So, if you need some rationale to make some picks yourself this weekend — or just want to make fun of someone else’s, even ours — make the jump for some angles on East Carolina -13, Georgia Tech -12.5, Rutgers -16.5, Georgia-South Carolina Under 46.5, Hawaii-Army Over 51.5, and N.C. State-Central Florida Over 51.5.