On September 21st, 2012 a University of Tennessee student, and Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity member, was hospitalized in an alcohol-related incident. Not exactly headline news, despite the blood-alcohol content of well over 0.40 reported by the media. Well, not headline news if not for the captivating two-word term that, according to Mr. Alexander “Xander” Broughton’s legal counsel, is now sweeping the nation, and possibly the world.
I’m talking, of course, about “butt chugging” — fraternally defined as the act of sticking rubber tubing up one’s ass and letting the beer, wine, and/or liquor flow (into said ass).
There wasn’t much to be particularly happy about on Rocky Top at the end the 1st half last Saturday evening. The Volunteers had played the Georgia Bulldogs to a somewhat pedestrian 6-6 stalemate heading into the locker room, but, nevertheless, there was still a lot of energy in the Knoxville night; still hope for the future and the second half of SEC football that lay ahead.
And then the band took the field.
Listen, we all know that halftime performances can be a bit drab, prompting the creative forces in charge to take risks; to think outside the box in an effort to keep butts in the bleachers and — if nothing else — help curb America’s growing obesity problem. Having said that, there is never a reasonable excuse for the liberties taken at Neyland Stadium over the weekend. Never a rational reason to subject 100,000+ rabid football fans to a Tennessee-themed reworking of Victor Fleming’s 1939 fantasy musical classic, The Wizard of Oz.
That’s right, Volunteer fans watched in captive horror as their “Pride of the Southland” marching band conducted a dialogue-rich reenactment of Dorothy and her dog “Smokey’s” trip down the “Checkerboard Road” in search of a way back to Rocky Top. Replete with embarrassingly lame jokes about Alabama, Kentucky, South Carolina, and even the evening’s guest in the form of the “Wicked Witch of Georgia,” I think they may have even thrown in a still incomprehensible jab at Texas A&M (around the 6:15 mark).
Out of bounds, Vols. Out. Of. Bounds.
Pat Summit, cast as the Good Witch, has every right to be upset
But wait, there’s more. Obviously not content with embarrassing merely themselves, someone in Tennessee’s music department decided that legendary Lady Vols basketball coach Pat Summit should be cast as the Good Witch (and the basketball team as the munchkins, apparently). Indeed, Coach Summit was even tasked with asking Neyland’s capacity crowd to click their heels three times and say “There’s no place like Rocky Top” (I’m not making that up; see around 7:00).
By now, of course, the Tennessee crowd was becoming cannibalistic. The kindest of Georgia fans probably offered their condolences, but most knew the damage was irreparable (and delighted in that fact). The positive energy had been sucked out of Neyland as quickly and as violently as Dorothy had been sucked into Oz.
With the home crowd still reeling from the ten minutes of halftime hell they’d just sat through, any home field advantage was now lost. Tennessee would go on to lose 20-12, gaining just 33 yards in the 2nd half, and in game that saw Georgia’s defense hold the Volunteers to -20 rushing yards for the entire contest. It may very well be only the second time in college football history where a marching band has played a pivotal role in the outcome of a game.
Leave the novel reinterpretations of The Wizard of Oz to bored Pink Floyd fans, okay, Vols?
This undertaking, while in a similar vein, isn’t necessarily intended as a definitive ranking of select college basketball programs from ‘00/’01 – ‘09/’10. We basically just thought it would be interesting to see how college basketball programs would stack up when plotting out each’s NCAA Tournament performance over the course of a decade.
More than anything, we wanted this to be fun. If nothing else, you might learn a thing or two about NCAA Tournament history from 2000 through 2010 – at least quantitatively — so make the jump to see how the NCAA Tournament of the 2000’s plays out…
Sure, we as college football fans can choose to ignore a lot of things, but it’s hard to overlook the fact that the Auburn Tigers’ 22-19 victory over the Oregon Ducks marks the 5th straight BCS Championship for a team from the Southeastern Conference; a conference that now possesses 7 of the 13 Crystal Eggs awarded since the Bowl Championship Series’ inception back in 1998.
Here’s the breakdown:
1998: Tennessee (Beat Florida State 23-16)
2003: LSU (Beat Oklahoma 21-14)
2006: Florida (Beat Ohio State 41-14)
2007: LSU (Beat Ohio State 38-24)
2008: Florida (Beat Oklahoma 24-14)
2009: Alabama (Beat Texas 37-21)
2010: Auburn (Beat Oregon 22-19)
Now, considering there are five other conferences that are supposed to have a realistic shot at winning this thing — and the next best showing by any of them is the Big 12’s two Crystal Eggs — isn’t the SEC’s dominance of this party teetering on the precipice of preposterousness?
I wish I could say the absurdity of it all ended there, by merely looking at the actual champions, but it doesn’t. In fact, some of the SEC’s “misses” — within the context of its hits and intra-conference dynamics — actually add fuel to the fire…
The Volunteers clearly weren’t able to finish UNC on the field — I’d say they went as far as snatching defeat from the jowls of victory even — but you never would have known it from watching some of their players’ taunting gestures and antics throughout the game.
As seen above, Tennessee signal caller Tyler Bray was no exception to this unsportsmanlike behavior, and his lack of couth came back to haunt him in rather cathartic fashion.
Yeah, if you’re going to be as bold as the “throat slash” before it’s all said and done, you’ve got to be able to choke back the tears if and when the proverbial blade is pressed to your neck, dude. Pitiful.
By now you’ve all heard about Lane Kiffin (AKA Lame Kitten, to SEC fans) returning to LA to head up USC’s program. He’s apparently bringing a dynamite staff with him, too: Monte, recruiting and DL extraordinaire, Ed Orgeron, and even offensive guru Norm Chow, according to reports.
How’s the rest of the top flight coaching talent in the country reacting to this, though? Well, that’s gonna require quite a bit of digging, but Frumpzilla has happened to get its paws on Florida coach, and former Kiffin rival, Urban Meyer’s reaction upon hearing about the shakeup at tonight’s Kentucky-Florida basketball game:
Less than 3 hours from kickoff, so, though this particular Bama fan isn’t talking about the UT in question tonight, I think it’s safe to say he probably speaks for the entire Alabama fanbase when it comes to Tide Pride and their view of other programs in general (seriously, Alabama fans are some of the biggest haters around).