It may sound like a bedtime story, but this is straight truth (as Pat notes in the video below). It’s all quite simple, really: Back when the Haitians were under the thumb of ole Puss in Boots (that’s Napoleon Bonaparte, for you kids out there), they were so desperate for freedom and independence from the French that they made a deal with the Devil. Well, as any good history book will tell you, the Devil obliged in 1804, and the rest is history (albeit not always the prettiest).
Oh, and apparently this may have pissed God off, which is bad, and so God sent his earthquake to remind Haiti that making deals with the Devil comes at quite a price; even if you don’t get the call from the creditor for a little over 200 years.
Thereafter, God presumably asked Pat, being the model ambassador for Christianity and religion that Pat is, to make sure he got the word out, and so he did. And it was good… (DBJ is on a roll with good tips today, too)