Tag Archives: turkey slaughter

Don’t let guilt consume you this Thanksgiving: Turkeys are smug, vicious creatures.

November 25, 2010

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As what I’m sure was another wonderful Thanksgiving Day winds down for our dozens of adoring fans, Frump just wanted to pass along some info that may or may not help you sleep a bit easier throughout the holiday weekend.

Let’s face it, despite the tryptophanic bliss you’re likely lost in at the moment, there’s probably quite a bit to feel guilty about right now.

You most likely overate. Already plotting out those extra gym sessions this weekend?

Perhaps you drank too much as well. I’m sure at least one of member of your extended family is questioning just how rare an occurrence passing out in the barcalounger with a 3/4-full beer in your hand is for you.

Maybe you even had a little tiff with that in-law or, otherwise estranged, family member you only see or hear from twice a year. Yeah, probably the same one that’s dropping the “does (s)he usually drink that much?” question on folks right now.

But, despite all that — and the fact that you burned the macaroni casserole — there’s still yet another, far more menacing concern plaguing your conscience, isn’t there? That’s right, the poor, defenseless turkey you just stuffed yourself with.

Never fear, however. Though you may not realize it, you’ve just helped control the population of perhaps the most dangerous member of the poultry family. And I can prove it (after the jump).

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