This promotion poster looks rather innocent at first, doesn’t it? Let alone the enticing value presented by the 4-4-4 deal, how could one not be drawn in by the inescapable psychological comfort something called “Mascot Night” induces? Well, that’s how they get you.
As you’ll see (after the jump), there’s something quite ominous about this year’s ACC Women’s Basketball Tournament…
So you and your family/friends are sitting back, enjoying your hot dogs and Pepsi colas, and wondering what the hell you’re doing at the ACC Women’s Basketball Tournament, when it dawns on you…oh, yeah, it’s “Mascot Night.” Of course.
But wait a tick. Hey, who’s that sandwiched between Duke’s Blue Devil and Buzz? Is that an FSU cheerleader? Representing the Noles at “Mascot Night?” Just what the frump is going on here?
Well, thanks to the power of deductive reasoning, you determine that there are only three possibilities (in ascending order by plausibility):
1. Chief Osceloa is out sick.
2. Despite being cleared by the NCAA in 2005 to use “Cheif Osceola” as a “mascot,” FSU has finally caved to all the political pressure related to the issue of using Native Americans as mascots, and no longer wishes to objectify certain groups of people intimately associated with its University.
3. Knowing that the only people with any real interest in the ACC Women’s Basketball Tournament are the players, coaches and, in most cases, their respective immediate family members, the ACC is attempting to capitalize on the recent buzz related to mascots eating cheerleaders, and Chief Osceola was the obvious cut. You know, probably enough controversy already without having the only human “mascot,” and a Native American at that, take part in the massacre of a sweet, toned, golden haired cheerleader.
I think we all know what went on here. Surely the Tournament’s promoters have seen this, and this, this, and, most importantly, this at the top of their Google search results (okay, maybe not that last one, but they would have about 96 hours ago). How else are they gonna have a shot at filling the Greensboro Coliseum?
Mascots eating cheerleaders: It’s gold…and has been for longer than a lot of us care to remember.