Curry Watch—Games 5 and 6

Wed, Dec 3, 2008 at 10:44 am ET

College Basketball, Kissed With Apocalypse

Frumped by

Stephen Curry

This series is dedicated to the most exciting, exhilirating, electrifying and talented college basketball player of all-time (save David Thompson, Bryce Drew and a host of others)…..Stephen Curry.  Recaps from games five and six after the jump.

Facts, no laughs.  That’s what this series is about.  Why?  Because Stephen Curry is a beast, and he’s not funny; he’s a killer.  So, let’s just get down to the neeeeeety greeeeeeety.

Game 5 v. Florida Atlantic:

39 points (5-9 from three), 4 rebounds and 4 assists.  This is about what I expect from him every night, honestly.

The White Lobster was 4-7 from three for 12 points.  Pedestrian as usual.

Florida Atlantic Head Coach Mike Jarvis’ comments:  “We knew that Curry was going to get 30 or more.  You don’t beat Davidson by stopping him.  You beat them by making sure the other guys don’t beat you.”

Well, obviously you’re lucky he didn’t go for 50, Mikey.  And maybe you should’ve shared these words of wisdom with Jimmy Patsos, the nincompoop Loyola (MD) Head Coach.

Game 6 v. Loyola (MD)

Loyal Frumpsters, brace yourselves.  Well, just make sure you’re sitting down, I guess.  Actually, this is a little late, so I’m sure you already know.  Anyway, here goes……………….I can’t do it. Ok, I’m ready.  Oh man! my hands hurt.  I’m not going to be able to type this; I just can’t do it.  I’ll just be quick–like ripping a band-aid off. Hedidn’tscore.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  That was terrible.

Upon finding out this miserable truth, I spent some time in the hospital, so I’d rather not rehash too much.  Moron Patsos, referenced above, double-teamed Stephen all night–even during lay-up drills before the game, which was a little unreasonable.  So, yea, he didn’t score.  Evs.

The White Lobster was 6-11 from three for 18 points.  Very nice.  A little better than pedestrian.

Loyola (MD) Head Coach Nincompoop’s comments:  “We had to play against an NBA player tonight.  Anybody else ever hold him scoreless? I’m a history major. They’re going to remember that we held him scoreless or we lost by 30?  If Oklahoma can’t stop him, how is Loyola College going to stop him?  I know the fans are mad at me, but I had to roll the dice as far as a coach goes. I’m not some rookie coach.  I won a national title as a top assistant coach to Gary Williams. For 13 years I spent on Tobacco Road. I coached a couple of No. 1 picks in the draft. And we scored 48 points. That’s the problem that Loyola basketball had today.

So, let me get this straight.  You are more concerned with holding “The Chosen One” scoreless than leading your team to victory?  Nice.  Not sure that’s in the job description, Nincompoop.  I wonder why the fans are mad.  Maybe you shouldn’t love yourself so much.  And by the way, Maryland has NOTHING to do with Tobacco Road.

And this from the White Lobster:  “Their coach obviously wanted guys other than Steph to beat him.  If you’re playing 4-on-3 against us, somebody is going to hurt you.”

F#ckin’-A Right, White Lobster.  F#ckin’-A Right.



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3 Responses to “Curry Watch—Games 5 and 6”

  1. Striker Beaver Says:

    This kid beast is amazing! As the Wolfpack fan I am, I hope we repeat our victory this Saturday of last season. This kid torched us for 29 points, however, it was off of 24 freaking attempts! Go NC STATE!

  2. Ciaran Says:

    Yeah, when I heard about the Loyola (MD) fiasco, I was pretty much convinced that the Apocalypse was upon us.  And that rationalization from Loyola’s coach is classic.  He’s my new favorite existential hero…

  3. The GingerHead Man Says:

    (Nacho voice)Yeeeeeea, He’s a reeeeal Dooooooooooosh.

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