Dirty Dancing Granny Banned From Smalltown North Carolina Club…

Mon, Nov 17, 2008 at 3:56 pm ET

Kissed With Apocalypse, The Rest

Frumped by

Nobody puts Baby, ahem, I mean Granny in a corner

It’s okay, she settled her pending, 7 year-old claim against the city for $275,000.  Seriously.  I saw it on Fox News, so it’s got to be true.  I’m gonna ask you to make the jump for the video of this, also courtesy of my favorite e-supermarket tabloid, because, well, we simply could use the page views.  Don’t worry, it’s worth it, for a variety of reasons…

Nobody puts Granny in a corner?  Seriously, Megan?  You know, if you weren’t so freakin’ hot, like virtually every other female talking head on Fox News, I might not let that one slide.  You know, like, if you were a wrinkly old granny or something?  Or maybe it’s just the sheer intensity of your keen legal analysis.  Like when you called out the lovely Mercedes for confusing the Freedom of Expression and Equal Protection arguments, even after she’d just dropped that gem of an “assets” pun.  That showed a lot of confidence, Megan, and I like it (Don’t worry, I got it, Mercedes…call me). 

Either way, did Marshall, NC really just cave in and pay this octogenerarian $275k?  If Granny really was “hunched on the floor”, “simulating sexual intercourse” and “exposing her private parts”, in front of children no less, I sincerely hope not.  Then again, maybe I’m just missing the point here; missing a golden opportunity.  Perhaps I should simply take our erotic elder’s lead. If  (a) being not so easy on the eye, and (b) dancing notoriously bad in semi-public places, maybe even slipping in a few shots of the goods in the process, will land me 275k upon being banned from the local dance hall, where do I sign?  I’m certainly qualified, and I’ve got time…

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2 Responses to “Dirty Dancing Granny Banned From Smalltown North Carolina Club…”

  1. B Diddy Says:

    Ya know, my grandmother once went in to Hooters and asked for an application.  They didn’t let her apply, I think we would’ve had a case against that TN Hooters.

  2. Ciaran Says:

    I like where your head’s at, B Diddy.  Something tells me Hooters’ coffers are much bigger, filled more often, than those of Marshall, NC’s, so to speak. 

    We could have retired off that one…

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