Hugh Hefner turns 112

Wed, Apr 9, 2008 at 12:56 pm ET

The Rest

Frumped by

He keeps going and going. Pun intended.

 The Boss without cost

It has been 76 years since the six year old Heff developed a fondness for bombshell blondes and scantily clad barely legals with a streak of exhibitionism. On that unfaithful day 76 years ago the six year old Heff blew out his birthday candles on his Lone Ranger birthday cake and asked Lucifer for what he really wanted. He wanted to grow up to be the biggest pimp the world shall ever see and live a life free of STDs in all his hedonistic splendor.

His wish was granted and the rest is history. He has defiled countless young women and kept many of them off of the less prestigious path of pole dancing. You can’t turn a *%@ into a housewife. At least not for longer than three years. We have Hugh to thank for this wisdom. Pimps across America, raise your chalice to the grand-daddy of pimping since pimping. Hugh Hefner take a bow at 82 if the Viagra hasn’t kicked in. To mark this day Hugh plans to have sex with 82 different women. Look out Wilt!

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4 Responses to “Hugh Hefner turns 112”

  1. Cochese Says:

    Serious question: does anyone actually believe that he has nailed ANY of these chicks in the past 7 years?  Shit is all for show.

  2. Ciaran Says:

    I’m gonna go with a “yes” on that one, but maybe I’m gullible…

  3. Jrock Says:

    With enough drugs, fame, and money anything is possible.

  4. BigAlatUNC Says:

    Definitely yes. Yes, yes, yes! Yeeeessss!!! Oh Hugh, what are you doing to me?!  Wait, what were we talking about?

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