Mets Third Baseman David Wright Forced to Fend Off Attack by Desperate Pack of Cougars

Tue, Nov 18, 2008 at 12:56 pm ET

MLB, The Rest

Frumped by

New York Mets Third Baseman David Wright in a head lock No, not this kind of Coug...

Nooo, not that type of cougar, the more rabid, predatory of the two.  As if being an All-Star Major League Third Baseman in one of the world’s most desirable cities wasn’t enough, David Wright also just happened to be blessed with a face only the straightest of males, and the butchiest of lesbians, couldn’t love.  For all other persuasions, Mr. Wright adds a whole new meaning to the term “Hot Corner”, or so I hear, but that blessing may have become a bit of a curse as of late.

Apparently the Mets slugger was forced to defuse a small riot at his annual “Do the Wright Thing” fundraiser (nice one, David) at the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square the other night.  According to reports, Wright watched in shock as he was “mobbed by a swarm of trashy-looking cougars.”   “Middle-age women with bad 80’s hair were practically pushing down little kids who were trying to get baseballs signed”. 

To add to the hysteria, and the hilarity, Wrignt supposedly could be overheard pleading, “Ladies, calm down!  Please, relax.”  Just another day in the life of David Wright.  Link to the New York Post blurb after the jump, as well as some select cuts of all time classic Cougs. 

Source:  The New York Post

Cougars in Control, from America’s kinkiest news source, Fox News

Top 10 Legendary Cougars


Related Posts with Thumbnails
  • Share


Subscribe to our e-mail newsletter to receive updates.

3 Responses to “Mets Third Baseman David Wright Forced to Fend Off Attack by Desperate Pack of Cougars”

  1. B Diddy Says:

    It’s awesome that in this day and age you hear “Cougar” and automatically assume it’s a woman.  I wasn’t even fooled by your fantastic picture of an actual cougar.

  2. The GingerHead Man Says:

    And that is an unbelievable picture of a cougar.  I need to get that on a t-shirt for work.

  3. Ciaran Says:

    Weren’t fooled, eh?  Foiled again…

    Really is an awesome pic of a couger, though, huh?  That cougar, with like a full moon, purple mountain range, some evergreens, and a waterfall in the background???  CHA-CHING!  You guys know a good screen printer?

Leave a Reply

You can add images to your comment by clicking here.