New Diet Craze to Sweep Nation?

Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 1:12 pm ET

The Rest

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This body was crafted on 12,000 calories a day... Michael Phelps may be known for his prowess in the pool, and could go down as the greatest Olympian ever, but, given our nation’s fascination with fad diets, not to mention quick fixes in general,  Phelps may strike true gold on the nutritional market.

According to an article in the New York Post, Michael maintains that lean, muscular look by packing away no less than 12,000 calories a day.  To be fair, he also swims 5 hours a day, 6 days a week, which admittedly is a bit more strenuous than say my weekly workout routine, but then I’m not sniffing 12,000 calories either.  I also don’t have the body of Michael Phelps, not quite, but at least there’s hope, and that’s what Michael Phelps is selling our great nation’s millions, and in more ways than one.

Ready for your meal plan?  Make the jump for one personally tried and tested by Mr. Phelps himself…

Okay, so here’s your daily meals, mapped out specifically, and in great detail, for all of you looking for that cut out of granite look.  It may be alarming at first, that’s understandable, just remember that if Michael Phelps can do it, then so can you…if you swim 5 hours a day, 6 days a week, and were fortunate enough to be blessed with the appropriate genetic/molecular structure.  Straight from the article:

“Phelps lends a new spin to the phrase “Breakfast of Champions” by starting off his day by eating three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise.

He follows that up with two cups of coffee, a five-egg omelet, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar and three chocolate-chip pancakes.

At lunch, Phelps gobbles up a pound of enriched pasta and two large ham and cheese sandwiches slathered with mayo on white bread – capping off the meal by chugging about 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.

For dinner, Phelps really loads up on the carbs – what he needs to give him plenty of energy for his five-hours-a-day, six-days-a-week regimen – with a pound of pasta and an entire pizza.

He washes all that down with another 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.”

Not bad, eh?  I envy that meal plan, kind of.  Swimming 5 hours a day, 6 days a week?  Ehhh, not so much.  It’s a lifestyle decision, you know, and some people may be able to adapt to it better than others.  Just keep in mind that if you don’t squeeze the swimming into your busy schedule, already eaten away, so to speak, by the sheer amount of time you’ll spend getting your meal plan down,  you could end up looking closer to the the pic below than the pic above.

12,000 Calories a day without 5 hours of swimming, 6 days a week

But you have to take the good with the bad, right?  It’s a risk you take, it’s a risk Michael Phelps took, and look how far he’s come.

Still, it’s kind of unbelievable, isn’t it?  I mean literally unbelievable, by the way.  Could that meal plan really represent Michael’s typical eating habits?  Well, for me at least, it’s hard to swallow.   I was always told to wait  15  minutes before hopping in the pool after I destroyed a PB&J (or 2…) for lunch.  You know, to avoid cramps and getting sick and stuff.  Relative to Phelps’ mid-day meal, I’d say he should be waiting around 15 days. 

Beyond that, how is this kid even keeping that kind of grub down?   His stomach can’t be much larger than the size of my fists, there just isn’t enough space there underneath those rock hard abs.  And he’s managing to go swimming, not casually mind you, after all this?  Insane.

But whatever, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt until he publishes his first New York Times bestseller, and its inevitable follow-ups.  He is an American hero, after all, I just hope I never see him exit the restroom stall I’ve been waiting on.  I imagine toilets may be the only things that fear Michael Phelps more than his competition, and for very good reason…

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3 Responses to “New Diet Craze to Sweep Nation?”

  1. Striker Beaver Says:

    Holy crap! If I ate what he has for breakfast I would be full for the entire day, nonetheless, shit the entire day. He is quite amazing. Definitely could be argued that he is the best athlete of the past decade, although, I bet Tiger would beg to differ.

  2. Jrock Says:

    The Phelps plan is easy. Eat everything in sight for breakfast and load up on carbs for the last two meals at 3,000 calories a piece. Then swim until you pass out and have a friend fish you out of the pool.

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