Obama Wins Guam by 7 Votes, Guamanian Superdelegate Remains Undecided

Sat, May 3, 2008 at 12:40 pm ET

The Rest

Frumped by

Guam- The Other U.S. Territory

Super Barack

Reuters- After the narrowest victory this primary season, Guam’s only Superdelegate, a statue of Superman depicted here behind a mocking Barack Obama, remains silent about his decision. Many natives believe the statute will continue to keep silent until the convention. Even more disheartening, Guam native and extremely wise village elder, Wyclef Aguon, believes there is a good chance this superdelegate may never voice its opinion.

The Press recently asked Democratic National Committee Chariman Howard Dean why the Committee chose this statue to be a superdelegate. Dean responded in a defeated voice: “Well, we really didn’t have much to work with in Guam. There’s only like 2,000 people there who make up the whole voting population and these folks are either descendants of conquered natives or your run-of-the-mill military brat, so the most obvious choice was this totally randomn statue of superman, which stood out on the island like a sore thumb. It made perfect logical sense, we needed a super-delegate and this statue was that of super-man.”

However, Dean admitted that the Committee overlooked the fact the statue was…well, a statue. “We realize now that it’s a statue and it can’t voice an opinion, but the rules state that once a delegate is selected, we can’t unselect said delegate until the next election season, so we’re fucked in that respect.”

Might American Somoa be the tie breaker?

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3 Responses to “Obama Wins Guam by 7 Votes, Guamanian Superdelegate Remains Undecided”

  1. BigAlatUNC Says:

    7 votes?! That’s a landslide in Guam!!!

  2. Dejected Elk Says:

    Thanks for the pity comment.

  3. Ciaran Says:

    It’s funny ‘cause it’s true!

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