Pandapocalypse

Mon, Dec 20, 2010 at 11:09 am ET

Feathers and Fur, Kissed With Apocalypse

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A metaphor for U.S.-Sino relationsThis cover from China’s Vista Magazine may have been intended as a metaphor for the future of Sino-American relations, but I think there’s a tad more to it than that.

Those who know me well know that I’ve always distrusted giant pandas. In fact, if not for our vastly superior strength in numbers, I’m fairly confident those glorified raccoons would waste no time making waste of us.

See, they may appear all cute and fuzzy, but underneath that black and white fur lies the soul of a vicious, subservient, porn-watching weapon of mass destruction.  And that’s assuming they have souls.

Indeed, after perhaps Al Qaeda, WikiLeaks, fast food, and North Korea, the giant panda is probably the single greatest threat to America.  And, similar to what you’ve seen in all those Al Qaeda “terrorist training” videos, pandas, too, start the indoctrination of evil at a young age.

Seriously, some people may view what’s seen after the jump as “playful” — those people will also be the first to go. A closer look reveals that this is just the infant stages of the pandas’ quest for world domination.  Believe it, or else…

The initial stages of training before graduating to full blown combat…

As seen here…

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