Sorry Sam, Lindsay loves the cod-piece…always has, always will

Fri, Nov 21, 2008 at 1:04 pm ET

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lindsay lohan hot as fire

Apparently, Lohan and “girlfriend” Samantha Ronsen have entered couples counseling because of Lindsays’ wandering eye….or should I say ‘ole wandering one eye?

I have no doubt this is true.  Lindsay loves the penis.  Just ask Aaron Carter, Damien Fahey, Jack Osbourne, Fez, Colin Farrell, Calum Best, Harry Judd, Talan Torriero, Christian Slater, Diego Garcia, Mitch Mortaza, David Spade, Richie Akiva, Scott Sartiano, Shia LeBeouf, Jared Leto, Nick Cannon, Leo, Lapo Elkann, Sean Lenna, Ryan Adams, Adam Levine, The Flying Tomato, Brett Ratner, Mr. Girls Gone Wild, Mr. Greek-shipping-heir-now-and-who-previously-banged Paris Hilton, Jamie Burke, Brandon Davis, Nick Lachey, Garrett Hedlund, Harry Morton and Evan Ross, who have all been rumored to have “dated” the lovely Mrs. Lohan over the past 7 years. 

Realize this…most of the dudes listed above are first-class gina-slayers.  They are generally not the type to waste a bunch of time hanging out with a hot girl if they arent banging her.  That is A LOT of cock in 7 years…moreover, thats only the celebrities who she “dated.”  That doesnt count any random hook-ups or unknown lucky bastards that happened to be hanging around Suede during her more drunken years. 

As an aside, they say your true number of sexual partners is the number of your partners,+ the number of all of your partner’s partners.  Get that?  If the list above is true, Lindsay’s number is STAGGERING

Lets be clear here.  I am not hating on Lindsay Lohan.  I am not hating on Mrs. Ronson.  I am just stating that you dont go from a regular sausage diet to vegetarian overnight.  The fact that this qualifies as news to anyone is shocking. 



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4 Responses to “Sorry Sam, Lindsay loves the cod-piece…always has, always will”

  1. B Diddy Says:

    David Spade?!?!?!?! How does that guy continue to get laid?!?!?!?

  2. Ciaran Says:

    That’s quite a list.  32 I believe, and you didn’t even include me, so…

  3. Cochese Says:

    Spade probably has a massive ‘tard-dong.

  4. The GingerHead Man Says:

    She is such a whore in “Georgia Rule.”  It’s very unbecoming.

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