The muscial/marketing genius behind the rise of gangsta rap revealed by Alicia Keys

Sun, Apr 13, 2008 at 3:39 pm ET

Kissed With Apocalypse, Pop Rocks

Frumped by

Alicia Keys

Not Suge, not Dre, not Eazy-E, not Ice Cube and not Snoop…

Evidently, ‘gangsta rap’ was created by these guys:


Thats right, WHITEY a.k.a. ‘The Man’ a.k.a the Government is responsible for such hits as “Picture me rollin,” “Nutz on ya chin” and “Fuck tha Police” according to Alicia Keys.  Mrs. Keys said;

“‘Gangsta rap’ was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. ‘Gangsta rap’ didn’t exist.”

Keys, 27, said she’s read several Black Panther autobiographies and wears a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck “to symbolize strength, power and killing ’em dead,” according to an interview in the magazine’s May issue, on newsstands Tuesday.

Another of her theories: The bicoastal feud between slain rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fueled “by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing.”,2933,350916,00.html

Stunning bit of investigative journalism Mrs. Keys.  Your profound powers of observation and keen intellect will no doubt help you sell millions more records. 

Lets be honest, its not been a good 2008 for Whitey.  Between Rev. Wright exposing the facts that HIV and Crack were invented by white people to kill black people and now, Alicia Key’s bombshell, Whitey better get his shit together. 

LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS WHITEY.  Lets just hope we can keep project heart disease and project obesity under wraps. 



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5 Responses to “The muscial/marketing genius behind the rise of gangsta rap revealed by Alicia Keys”

  1. Ciaran Says:

    So does this mean that Gary Player invented obesity?  I may just pick up the May issue of “Blender” to find out…

  2. BigAlatUNC Says:

    I think the scariest thing about this issue is that people that have done no research on the subject sound more credible than people that have devoted their lives to the subject, not that Alicia Keys is one of those… 

  3. Dick Cheney Says:

    I created the Iraq War to convince brown people to kill each other, so what?

  4. Jrock Says:

    Well, we finally know what those telecomms’ lobbyist dollars were spent on. Although, I have my own theory on gangsta rap.

  5. Opal Pendant Says:

    This is wierd wearing gold AK-47 pendant around the neck “to symbolize strength, power and killing ‘em dead. really wierd

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