With the Lakers destined to win yet another title, we revisit the glory days of the Showtime team with a look back at none other than the seminal team virgin, A.C. Green.
Green, the only man on earth with a Jerry Curl who managed to not have sex until he reached 40, played in more consecutive games than any other player in NBA history, and somehow managed to remain a virgin throughout his entire career, a feat that baffles David Stern’s elongated ear lobes to this day.
Green recalls many locker room moments when Magic Johnson and James Worthy used to laugh at him for not sleeping around. He particularly recalls Magic’s ferocious sexual appettite during road games. “Magic would always make me drive him around in Houston or Milwaukee on road games and watch him have unprotected sex with randomn people. It was dangerous and I told him it wasn’t right, but he’d always tell me to ‘shut the hell up’ and watch where I’m driving, and I obeyed because he was Magic Johnson and,well, I was just AC Green, team virgin.”
Of course, Green also recalls the best day of his life, when all the ridicule Magic subjected him to came to an end one November afternoon in 1991. “When he said the HIV got him I jumped up and down for hours and was like, ‘See, the righteous man is the AIDS-less man’.” “I still cry out of joy knowing there is that kind of cosmic karma in the world.”