U.S. Economy Lost Hella Jobs in February

Fri, Mar 7, 2008 at 6:45 pm ET

Kissed With Apocalypse, The Rest

Frumped by

Economy Sucks

The US lost 63,000 jobs in February. We hit the streets to get the public’s reaction. 



We talked to an unemployed college graduate named Zach. 

Frump: How do you feel about the loss of 63,000 jobs?

Zach: It sucks. It’s already hard enough to find a job. Now, we’re losing even more jobs.

Frump: How long have you been unemployed?

Zach: I’ve been unemployed for a little over two years. 

Frump: What do you plan to do?

Zach: I don’t know. I tried selling drugs. It’s nothing like television. The market is flooded. There’s too many drug dealers. I knew it was over when I got pistol whipped by 5 year old girl in a Snow White costume. I’ve just hooked with a Cougar. 

Frump: Really? 

Zach: Yeah, you know it’s not all that bad. Ashton Kucher really paved the way with Demi Moore.

Frump: How is that going?

Zach: It’s going pretty good. I just hooked up with this 75 year old lady named Edna.

Frump: How old are you?

Zach: 27

Frump: Don’t you think that’s kind of sick?

Zach: See. That’s what wrong with America. Women have been able to hook up with older men for centuries. When a man wants to hook up with an older woman then it’s a big deal.

Frump: Dude, she’s 48 years older than you. 

Zach: Would you date an older woman for an Aston Martin, Yankee Season Tickets and $50,000 a month allowance?

Frump: Good point. I see why you carry the flask. Does Edna have a sister?

Zach: Wouldn’t you like to know. Anti-cougar. 

Frump: Fair enough. Good luck applying that Ben Gay over those liver spots.

Zach: @$$hole. 


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One Response to “U.S. Economy Lost Hella Jobs in February”

  1. cieron Says:

    “I knew it was over when I got pistol whipped by 5 year old girl in a Snow White costume.”

    Man, if I had a dime…I love it.  cool smile

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