Okay, so we know this isn't original, or hot off the presses necessarily, but around here these days beggars can't be choosers. Came across this over at Holy Taco, and boy am I glad I did. All the credit goes to them. Yeah, yeah, so I almost got called out at work, presumably because of the wails of laughter coming from my desk, but it was worth it. Enjoy. I'm off to add Jesus right now...
On a brisk Thursday night in which the nation fully expected, and rightfully so, some Trojans to really stick it to a bunch of Beavers, the Beavers pulled a shocker, came hard, and came out on top. Oregon State's improbable 27-20 victory makes it two in a row now over USC in Corvallis, and significantly shakes up the 2008 college football landscape. This was supposed an easy conquest for Southern Cal, but they came out flacid; their confidence, enthusiasm and morale appeared low from the start, and they could just never get it up.
The Trojans' vaunted offense, expected to come into Corvallis and mercilessly penetrate through and score, multiple times, on an inexperienced and previously slayed Beaver defense, was held in check for nearly the entire night. The Trojan defense, commonly considered to be the nation's best, and expected to at least provide a reservoir like protection and containment of any Beaver advances, was gashed, battered, broken and busted wide open by a resilient, grinding Beavers' offense. Trojan fans certainly learned that, despite how good the odds are, the only sure way to ensure you don't get exposed is to simply not step on the playing field at all, but we all know that's not a reasonable alternative.
The only question that remains now is whether the pollsters will actually be able to convince themselves to drop USC to #2. We all know they don't want to. Congratulations, Beavers. I would have paid a pretty penny to be up in that stadium of yours last night, dancing on your field, smelling your majestic Oregon aromas. Maybe some other time. 2010?
There's been a lot of hoopla about ESPN allegedly dropping the ball by not running the clip of the Dawgs' Knowshon Moreno hurdling a Chippewa defender (or really any highlights from the game) last Saturday through the ole Bristol Hype Machine. I think they may have finally got around to showing it on, like, Tuesday or something, but for it to not even make the package for Gameday Final is beyond me. The #2 team in the country, SEC East leaders putting a beatdown on the defending MAC champions isn't all that newsworthy, I agree. But a Heisman candidate doing some of the things Knowshon did here? This could have been Moreno's "Heisman Hype Clip", ala Charles Woodson's one handed pick or something, but instead we don't even get a little taste of the glory? To see what it tastes like? Come on, Bristol.
Anyways, I won't drop "conspiracy" outside of quotation marks (yet), but I will say that the likelihood of this happening to Beanie Wells or Tebow, or anyone on the USC roster, is extremely low. ESPN has their favorites, and they have their reasons (arguably good reasons). I understand ESPN is a business first and foremost, I just think they should run that as a disclaimer from time to time in their Bottom Line ticker or something...
Michael Phelps may be known for his prowess in the pool, and could go down as the greatest Olympian ever, but, given our nation's fascination with fad diets, not to mention quick fixes in general, Phelps may strike true gold on the nutritional market.
According to an article in the New York Post, Michael maintains that lean, muscular look by packing away no less than 12,000 calories a day. To be fair, he also swims 5 hours a day, 6 days a week, which admittedly is a bit more strenuous than say my weekly workout routine, but then I'm not sniffing 12,000 calories either. I also don't have the body of Michael Phelps, not quite, but at least there's hope, and that's what Michael Phelps is selling our great nation's millions, and in more ways than one.
Ready for your meal plan? Make the jump for one personally tried and tested by Mr. Phelps himself...
In the following article about a 19 year old riding a Greyhound who gets his head cut off by a maniac, CNN demonstrates an utter lack of restraint, or perhaps carelessness, in choosing such poor words as those shown below in the 9th full paragraph:
BUS PASSENGER BEHEADED SEATMATE, WITNESS SAYS
(CNN) -- As horrified travelers watched, a Greyhound Canada bus passenger repeatedly stabbed and then decapitated a young man who was sitting and sleeping beside him, a witness said Thursday.
Police investigate the scene near Portage la Prairie, Canada, on Thursday.
"There was a bloodcurdling scream. I was just reading my book, and all of a sudden, I heard it," Garnet Caton, who was sitting in front of the two men, said of the Wednesday night incident west of Portage la Prairie in Manitoba.
"It was like something between a dog howling and a baby crying, I guess you could say," Caton said. "I don't think it will leave me for a while."
Passengers exited the bus, and a trucker who stopped provided wrenches and crowbars to several of them so they could keep the suspect on the bus until police came, witnesses told Canadian TV.
The suspect was seized with the help of negotiators, Royal Canadian Mounted Police Sgt. Steve Colwell said.
He said no formal charges had been filed, and he declined to identify either the man in custody or the victim, who were among 34 passengers.
The was no immediate indication of what prompted the attack, Colwell said. He said he didn't know how many times the victim was stabbed. Witnesses described the weapon as a large butcher-type knife.
Caton told The Associated Press that the victim appeared to be about 19 years old and had gotten on the bus in Edmonton.
Colwell praised the "extraordinary" level-headedness and bravery of the bus driver and passengers[...].
Congratulations, Valdosta. Winning this ESPN contest is quite an honor, I suppose. For those of you that don't know, around 50% of my family is from Valdosta, and still down there. I've spent a lot of time 'round dem parts, and still make it down around two times a year. Despite that, and my knowledge of the area's remarkable sports history, I was still rather surprised when I heard they'd beat out places like Boston, Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, Chapel Hill, Green Bay, and so on to win this whole TitleTown thing. I figure that means that the detached, purely objective observer, as you likely are, is extremely surprised. Well, assuming that's the case, I felt it would be a pretty good time to drop a little Valdosta/Lowndes County knowledge on ya...
Sometimes you just have to sit back and marvel at the liberal mindset. According to the article below, a 'non-profit' organization dedicated to helping the homeless has taken it upon itself to both entertain and register the homeless to vote during the Democratic National Convention in Denver, CO next month.
"Hundreds of Denver's homeless could be cooling their heels in a movie theater or museum while the Democratic National Convention is in town next month.
The Colorado Coalition for the Homeless plans to get 500 movie tickets as well as passes to the Denver Zoo, Denver Museum of Nature and Science and other cultural facilities for the people it helps."
Not that I have anything against entertaining bums...really, I am pro-bum-entertaining...whatever keeps them from touching me or openly urinating. However, there is more....
Stretches current undefeated streak to 56 years thanks to Venezuela's Dayana Mendoza. She looks pretty.
Miss USA tripped in the evening gown competition for the 2nd year in a row, and the world laughed (I'm sure). To be fair, had I been watching the competition myself, I'm sure I would have laughed too. I mean, everyone can appreciate how truly taxing it must be to walk in an evening gown and not bust your ass, right? Has to rank up there with catching up to that mid nineties fastball when you were really expecting a 12-6 curve, in terms of difficulty. With that in mind, I'm obviously not trying to say that I could saunter on out there and not pull a Rachel Smith/Crystlle Stewart, not without getting in pageant shape first anyway, but I think we also need to remember that these broads are supposed to be the best of the best. Unfortunate, and yet funny as hell given the totality of the cirumstances. Bonus clip of last year's trip and fall after the jump...
Posted by cieron on 09/30 at 05:45 PM
Posted by 
Michael Phelps may be known for his prowess in the pool, and could go down as the greatest Olympian ever, but, given our nation's fascination with fad diets, not to mention quick fixes in general, Phelps may strike true gold on the nutritional market.
Posted by 
