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Mets Third Baseman David Wright Forced to Fend Off Attack by Desperate Pack of Cougars

New York Mets Third Baseman David Wright in a head lock No, not this kind of Coug...

Nooo, not that type of cougar, the more rabid, predatory of the two.  As if being an All-Star Major League Third Baseman in one of the world's most desirable cities wasn't enough, David Wright also just happened to be blessed with a face only the straightest of males, and the butchiest of lesbians, couldn't love.  For all other persuasions, Mr. Wright adds a whole new meaning to the term "Hot Corner", or so I hear, but that blessing may have become a bit of a curse as of late.

Apparently the Mets slugger was forced to defuse a small riot at his annual "Do the Wright Thing" fundraiser (nice one, David) at the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square the other night.  According to reports, Wright watched in shock as he was "mobbed by a swarm of trashy-looking cougars."   "Middle-age women with bad 80's hair were practically pushing down little kids who were trying to get baseballs signed". 

To add to the hysteria, and the hilarity, Wrignt supposedly could be overheard pleading, "Ladies, calm down!  Please, relax."  Just another day in the life of David Wright.  Link to the New York Post blurb after the jump, as well as some select cuts of all time classic Cougs. 

Source:  The New York Post

Cougars in Control, from America's kinkiest news source, Fox News

Top 10 Legendary Cougars

 

{name} Posted by cieron on 11/18 at 12:56 PM •
Categories: MLBThe Rest
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