And not the lump of electronic poo based on one of Nicholas Sparks' gems. I'm talking about that James Brown impression Jon Scheyer dazzled with yesterday in Blacksburg, VA. Performance after the jump.
Do you remember what you did for fun when you were 12? Neither do I. However, I'm pretty sure it involved playing some bball with my buddies or trading baseball cards, definitely not making the babies. The same cannot be said for Alfie Patten, a 13 year old british lad(who looks closer to 7 than 13) as he has recently knocked up his gorgeous 15 year old lady. Proof of her classic beauty after the jump in the Sun link.
As a buddy of mine says, "I'm not in the judgement bidness", however this is regahdamdiculous!! I'm 28 and to be honest, it's a struggle sometimes to take care of myself sometimes. Normally when the unfortunate get pregnant too early, we talk about how it's a shame they'll never get to experience college without the responsibilities no 18 or 19 year old should bear. In said case, this poor kid won't get to experience the 7th friggin grade without those responsibilities.
Sorry, this is my first post back in awhile and I'm just at a loss for words. I'm confused as to whether I should try to be funny(notice I said try) or if I should just cry for humanity. Links to articles and videos after the jump. I'm done.
But please don't take that assessment the wrong way, Frumpsters. With those qualifiers, such a video could still be, generally speaking, pretty damn shitty, and that's basically what we have after the jump.
So yeah, a trusted source just informed me that North Carolina State alumnus John Tesh is responsible for that envigorating, nearly unforgettable jam/theme song for the "NBA on NBC". Yes, Wolfpackers, I'm afraid it's true, and on both counts. Now, if an acquaintance, or even a complete stranger, had told me that over a pint or ten down at the local watering hole, I'd of called them a bald-faced liar and asked them to kindly leave. Otherwise, fistifcuffs would almost certainly ensue, and understandably so. I mean, I just don't take the alleged association of things like competitive sports and John Tesh lightly, and I've always felt such sentiment was perfectly reasonable...UNTIL NOW
Well, Frumpsters, Valentine's Day is right around the corner tomorrow, and I'm fairly certain there are quite a few lonely hearts out there that could use a little help landing a last second date. Sure, you could pick up a Cosmo, or Men's Health or something on your way out the grocery store, or maybe try to squeeze in a marathon of that weirdo on VH1, but all that costs valuable time and money, and who really wants to expend any more of such resources than you already have to on a date, let alone one on Valentine's Day.
Unfortunately, I'm confident that I'm in no position to give anyone dating advice, far from it, actually, but I do know "good" advice when I hear it...even if I have to eavesdrop, which is what I did on my lunch break the other day...
As long as you're Asian, of course. Or perhaps at least Fasian. Either way, you have to hand it to this guy. Some folks may never find true love, you know. Some may never even know what they're looking for, but not this guy. He knows exactly what he wants, and he's going after it...and not so subtly at that. In honor of Valentine's Day, and all you lovers out there, and, obviously, all you lonely hearts, I give you this lovely, poignant reminder that there is, in fact, hope...
***Assuming you're havnig trouble reading that, and I'm sure you are, click on the above link (or here, if you're really lazy) to get the full sized version***
Many larger (arguable) sites have run stories on Mr. McBowling Pin already. Consider this supplemental. And a bit traitorous considering my special lady got her papers from there.
So I'm sure you've all heard the reports about President Obama wearing bullet proof clothing during the inaugural ceremonies on Tuesday. Yeah, it's true. See that strapping overcoat up there? Bulletproof. Shirt? Bulletproof. Tie? Bulletproof. That Q-Ray Bracelet thing on his right wrist? Bulletproof, and all thanks to one Miguel Caballero, a Colombian designer that specializes in such attire.
Naturally, upon learning about this garb, I was like, "okay, where can I get some?". I mean, every girl's crazy about a sharp dressed, bulletproof man, right? Just look at how freakin' turned on Michelle is in that picture. I need more of that in my life ("that", of course, being more women looking like they can barely resist the urge to tear my bulletproof clothes off and get all freaky naughty with me).
Sadly, after I reexamined the prospect of donning bulletproof threads, I realized that my all too zealous imagination may have gotten the best of me. How am I going to pull off bulletproof clothing? How could I justify it? Sure, I probably could afford it (believe it, ladies...), but I'm just not THAT important. I mean, Presidents, Kings, Prime Ministers, I'm sure these are the ilk of folk that keep Miguel Caballero in business.
Well, I decided to research this, just to be sure, and I was right...except for one glaring loophole. A loophole that may just allow the common, independently wealthy, everyday man, such as myself, rock some bulletproof fashion, too...
Now, I've never worked in the fast food industry, but I would think that rule #1 is "Don't take a bath in the sink." Well #2, actually, because #1 has to be "Don't go deuce in the sink or the 'dining room'." Well, three Donks out in Anderson, Cali broke that sacred rule and lost Colonel Sanders' trust and respect forever. Questions and soapy, greasy details after the jump. Well, not too many because it's gross.
Posted by Donk Spotter on 03/01 at 09:20 AM
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Well, Frumpsters, Valentine's Day is 
