Dear friend (Um...what's your name),
My name is Claudia Mafikeng the eldest daughter of
Mr.John Mafikeng of Zimbabwe.It might be a surprise to
you where I got your contact address but I got your
contact address from the Johannesburg Chambers of
Trade and Commerce. (Yeah, business has been going extremely well in South Africa!)
During the current crises against the farmers of
Zimbabwe by the supporters of our President Robert
Mugabe to claim the farms in our
country, he ordered all the farmers to surrender
their farms to his party members and their
followers.My father was one of the best farmers in the
country and knowing that he did not support the
Presidents political ideology, the Presidents
supporters invaded my fathers farm burnt down
everything, killed him and confiscated all his
investments. (Real story. I doubt it happened to you.)
After the death of my father, my mother and I with my
younger brother decided to move out of Zimbabwe for
the safety of our lives. We took along with us the
money my father kept in the safe in my mothers
house,which amounted to the sum of US$16.7Million
(sixteen Million,Seven Hundred Thousand Dollars) to
the Republic of South Africa.where we now seek political asylum. the
money has been tranfered to a financial house overseas. (Can you say money laundering? If you have $16.7 mil then why don't you go to Deutsche Bank or something. The Rock is international and culturally diverse.)
My Mother and I have decided to contact any reliable
overseas firm who could assist us to claim this
money out from the financial house because we as asylum seeker
here in South Africa we are not allowed certain
financial rights like operating a bank account.
We need you to open a non-resident account through which this fund
will be channeled out to your nominated overseas
account.
(Ok. You cannot operate a bank account but you managed to get $16.7 mil into a "financial house." Also, you want to convert all your money into dollars when the Euro is the currency of choice.)
If my preposition is considered, for assisting
us to transfer this money to your country, we will
offer you USD 3million dollars of the total fund, while me and my
family will like to invest in your country under your guidance
and assistance.
(Preposition? Sure. How about your just send me a Money Gram first?)
This transaction is 100% risk free.Your urgent
response back to me at(mafikengsneedhelp@yahoo.ie) will be highly appreciated.
anxiously waiting for your reply. thank you.
(Sure....nothing is 100% risk free. Besides, you cannot get a bank account anywhere but you want me to open one up. Yeah, that sounds like money laundering. Although, we all know that you don't have any money in the first place. Get a job ya bum!
iafrica.com/news/specialreport/zimbabwe/226559.htm <http://iafrica.com/news/specialreport/zimbabwe/226559.htm>
http://www.guardian.co.uk/weblog/special/0,10627,536901,00.html
Best regards,
Claudia Mafikeng.
For the family.
(Send a pic next time claudia.)
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If only they'd used our favorite alternative spelling of "concoction"...
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MANAGING PARTNER J. FREDRICK & ASSOCIATES LONDON_ UK. NOTICE OF BEQUEST On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr. Luther Krüger, I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter returned undelivered. I hereby attempt to reach you again by this same email address on the WILL. Other words, I have no idea who you are silly American, so I play it off by not mentioning a name. It's common for email addresses to be in wills too. Old man Kruger is in your Myspace Top 8. I wish to notify you that Late Engr. Luther Krüger made you a beneficiary to his WILL.He left the sum of Twenty two million five hundred thousand United States Dollars ($22,500.000.00USD) to you in the codicil and last testament to his WILL. Yup, Old Man Kruger made you a beneficiary in a will for $22 mil. We're couldn't find your publicly listed phone number or address. However, we were able to find your email address. Jrock was the bounty of old man Kruger's affection. He must have seen my Blackplanet profile back in college. This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true. Being a widely travelled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were recommended to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good. This is totally a scam. However, maybe, silly American your pitiful public education and terrible recession bound economy will weaken an entire hemisphere of your brain. Besides, maybe, I ran into him at Six Flags. Engr. Luther Krüger had a very good heart and was a philantropist. His great philanthropy earned him numerous awards during his life time. In dedicating this funds to you and other beneficiaries, he instructed that you are to use part of the funds to promote his legacy through activities that aim to help the old, poor, needy and disabled in the society. Late Krügers' legacy is the love of charity. We're hedging you're not a total a-hole and maybe your bleeding heart will cloud the obvious scam we're trying to pull off here. Imagine all the Krispy Kremes you can buy the obese American youth! Late Engr. Luther Krüger died on the 12th day of March, 2006 at the age of 80 years, and his WILL is now ready for execution. According to him this money is to support your humanitarian activities and to help the poor and the needy in our society. We're ready to take your money or steal your identity now. You really will be able to help people on the Gulf Coast, stop genocide in Darfur, Free Tibet, fight human trafficking, restore the nation's parks, and protest future Nick Cannon movies. We promise -fingers crossed- Please if I reach you this time as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. Write back, so I can stop randomly spamming people. I just signed up for this gig to afford an iPhone and a X-Box Live subscription. Besides, I need another story to share at the pub about stupid and ignorant Americans. I detest America for sending us the Miami Dolphins. I hope to hear from you in no distant time through the email address below. "No distant time"...ah, I'm a poet at heart. Liberal Arts degrees don't get you crap. Email: johnfredrick_chambers2@yahoo.co.uk Yours in Service, Elizabeth Henry Secretary To- John Fredrick QC. MANAGING PARTNERS/ASSOCIATES "Yours in Service"...Go get an Einstein bagel. I got your service and it's certified for an @$$ whooping.
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We know we haven't been updating Spamalot as much as you'd like lately, but that's not by choice. The spammers simply haven't been delivering the goods as of late, nothing that's been Spamalot worthy anyway. Rest assured however, we scour through 100's if not 1,000's of spam a day searching for that special one or two that will truly hit the spot. We get tons that are a killer line or two away from making it on here, but, in the end, simply come up short, so to speak...
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