Tag Archives: Carolina Panthers

Gus Malzahn’s wife almost made me an Auburn fan…

November 26, 2011

0 Comments

Out of sympathy for Gus Malzahn, that is.

Listen, we’ve all known that guy that’s with that girl. That girl that, you know, despite whatever good qualities she may have, just kind of makes you feel a little sorry for said guy when it’s time to go home. The guy that’s just kind of hanging on. Lost. Waiting, hoping for some guidance or impetus. Some way out of what at least seems to be an inescapable situation. Well, that guy may very well be Auburn Offensive Coordinator Gus Malzahn.

As you can see from the video above, Kristi Malzahn is, well, quite a handful, and her little Christ-side chat with Dr. Ronnie Floyd at The Summit (a Southern Baptist megachurch conference for evangelical-leaning Christians) shed quite a bit of light on several issues (in chronological order):

  1. How bad it sucks to raise kids
  2. How bad the Auburn fanbase sucks
  3. How bad Lou Holtz’s slurred speech sucks
  4. Why Gus Malzahn spends so many late nights at the office
  5. How bad it sucked that Auburn only scored 22 points in its win over Oregon for the 2010 BCS Championship, and why Gus Malzahn sucks because of it
  6. Kristi Malzahn’s secret, forbidden love for Cam Newton
  7. How Cam Newton was recruited for less than two weeks
  8. How bad Auburn running back Michael Dyer sucks
  9. Potential recruiting violations
  10.  More potential recruiting violations
  11.  The level of intelligence of Auburn’s football team, and the populace of the State of Alabama in general
  12. The intensity of the Alabama-Auburn rivalry, and how much it sucks
  13. Even more potential recruiting violations committed by Auburn’s football program
  14.  How awesome LSU is
  15.  How awful we all should feel for Gus Malzahn
Share
Continue reading...

Your (Last Minute) 2011 NFL Draft Prop Bet Guide

April 28, 2011

0 Comments

2011 NFL Draft Prop BetsAssuming you can do it legally, what better way to spice up the 1st Round of the 2011 NFL Draft tonight than with some prop bets, right? I mean, if it works for Super Bowl parties, why not the NFL Draft?

Best of all, unlike your average prop, most of these have been analyzed and discussed (albeit indirectly) by countless “Draft Experts” for months now — so you’ve actually got a wealth of supposedly reliable, predictive information to work with.

Let’s take a look at what’s arguably tonight’s marquee prop, for instance:

Cam Newton’s Draft Position: Over/Under 1.5 (+250/-400)

Carolina Panthers will likely select Cam NewtonOr, in other words: Will Cam Newton go #1 Overall, or not?

Now, if you’re at all interested in this year’s NFL Draft, you’ve probably read no less than 10 articles in the past 72 hours on what the Carolina Panthers are gonna do with the #1 pick.  The overwhelming consensus: They’re going to draft Cam Newton (but aren’t necessarily over the moon about it).

Carolina is certainly in an unenviable position. Newton, despite how high his ceiling may be, is still almost certainly somewhat of  a project, at best.  Gus Malzahn’s “One Read and Go” offense  at Auburn — however misconstrued it may be — probably didn’t prepare Cam for the complexities of an NFL passing attack as much as it could, amongst other red flags .

It also appears the Panthers, in desperate need of QB help regardless, may not be able to find a viable trading partner for the #1 pick, and Newton — at -400 — is the clear favorite to be selected first overall (Marcell Dareus is the next favorite at a distant +300).

All that said, roll the dice on Newton Under 1.5, and — particularly if you’re a Panthers fan — make sure your fingers are firmly crossed….

[…]

Share
Continue reading...

Frump Day Links – 1/26/2011 – Or: Surely the Panthers can find a spot for Jaime Edmondson Edition

January 26, 2011

1 Comment

Jaime Edmondson showing a bit of bottom boob Seriously, give the girl a chance. Notwithstanding Edmondson’s tangible assets, the perseverance displayed via her remaining a loyal Panther fan after the 2010 season could very well provide the type of intangibles the Panthers are so sorely missing at the moment.

Don’t take my word for it, though. Our first Frump Day link should hammer the point home…

  • Jaime Edmondson: Loves modeling, the NFL, and shopping in the Children’s Clothing section at various fine athletic apparel retailers [Last Angry Fan]
  • This Valentine’s Day, give the gift of Hand Job. [Sportress of Blogitude]
  • Super Bowl tickets are hard to come by, but at least there’s ample parking – for $990 [Sharapova’s Thigh]
  • Herschel Walker – he’s so hot right now. But is it all just a publicity stunt? [The Victory Formation]
  • N.C. State coach Sidney Lowe – not so hot right now. Probably not a publicity stunt [Statefans Nation]
  • Ronaldinho has always had great technical skills, I don’t think we’ve ever seen him score from behind the goal, though [FootballXs]
  • The UConn women’s basketball team isn’t shy about showing off some ball skills of their own [The Score]
  • Good luck at ESPN, Greg McElroy [No Guts, No Glory]
  • The average Steelers fan is groomed from a very young age to become the average Steelers fan [Busted Coverage]
  • Coming full circle, it appears the Jimmy Clausen era may already be over in Carolina [Draft Ace]
Share
Continue reading...

Frump Day Links: 1-5-2011 — Or: “Just how much more can UNC get away with?” Edition

January 5, 2011

0 Comments

Duck getting humped by a dog

  • Frump’s questioned some suspicious practices over in Chapel Hill in past, but it seems the hits just keep on coming. Perhaps taking a page out of Ohio State’s book here? [StateFans Nation]
  • Staying in the great State of North Carolina, it appears — surprise, surprise — that the Panthers are in need of a Quarterback, and that they think said need could be filled by that Andrew Luck guy [Panthers Report]
  • Ben Roethlisberger is apparently getting married to a lovely, formerly obscure and anonymous, physician’s assistant named Ashley Harlan. As long as they don’t honeymoon in Afghanistan, Bahamas, Brunei, Ethiopia, Honduras, Kenya, Mongolia, Nigeria, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Yemen, or Zambia, I think things should work out just fine. [Last Angry Fan]
  • Sticking with the theme of QB scandals, Kurt Warner weighs in on Brett Favre’s legacy in the wake of epic ambivalence, not to mention dong pictures [With Leather]
  • Yes, you too could have won $50,000 for winning a beer pong tournament [Busted Coverage]
  • Running a successful professional hockey franchise out of Atlanta, Georgia requires a bit of creativity, however gratuitous, from time to time [The Score]
  • Frump’s done about all it could to inform its readers about the hidden dangers of turkeys, pandas, and even otters .  If you refuse to pay heed to our warnings, perhaps you’ll at least listen to this one. About bloodthirsty, “unkillable” cows. [Sportress of Blogitude]
  • If you haven’t caught the video of “Homeless Guy With Golden Radio Voice” yet, do yourself a favor and check out the new Voice of America [Awful Announcing]
  • Venus Williams’ house is fairly nice. Well, by this economy’s standards, I mean [Sharapova’s Thigh]


Share
Continue reading...

Somewhat Serious Question: Is Peyton Hillis a Top 3 Running Back in the NFL right now?

November 29, 2010

8 Comments

Define “right now” however you like, but, if only during the very moment “The Other Peyton” was bulldozing Charles Godfrey for his 3rd rushing touchdown (of the half),  I think the answer might be a resounding “yes.”

If nothing else, as Torry Holt alluded to during his brilliant color work for Fox’s Panthers-Browns broadcast, Peyton’s certainly the best back in the league that grew up wrestling wild hogs.

That’s right, America. Wild hogs. Peyton Hillis wrestled them. I’m guessing Peyton Hillis won, too.

Merciless punishing of livestock and unassuming defensive backs aside, however, is this former Arkansas Razorback really amongst the NFL’s elite at his position?   Top 5? Top 3? Hell, maybe even Top 2?

It’s certainly reasonable to suggest as much, and Frump offers some interesting statistical tidbits to stoke up the debate…after the jump.

[…]

Share
Continue reading...

Ravens fans show off their best Ray Lewis-inspired dance moves at Charlotte bar following victory over Panthers

November 23, 2010

0 Comments

If you happened to be at Bank of America Stadium to catch the Ravens’ 37-13 drubbing of the Panthers on Sunday, well, you probably didn’t miss much in the way of remarkable pro football.

Sure, the W is certainly nice for Baltimore fans. And seeing Brian St. Pierre — the NFL’s first stay-at-home-dad to throw back-to-back pick 6’s in a game — launch that 88-yard bomb to Gettis must have given the Carolina faithful some brief semblance of hope. But, ultimately, this was just another run-of-the-mill win by a 7-3 playoff contender over a 1-9 cellar dweller.

All that said, however, if you happened to stumble into the Whiskey River bar after the game, your football Sunday would have been fortuitously redeemed by the remarkable scene that follows: Ravens fans doing their best Ray Lewis impressions on the dance floor.

Thanks to the Gingerhead Man for the tip: Found at The Big Lead, via Guyism

Share
Continue reading...
Page 1 of 11