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CNN/AP Insert Subtle Pun About Beheaded Man

July 31, 2008

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In the following article about a 19 year old riding a Greyhound who gets his head cut off by a maniac, CNN demonstrates an utter lack of restraint, or perhaps carelessness, in choosing such poor words as those shown below in the 9th full paragraph:
BUS PASSENGER BEHEADED SEATMATE, WITNESS SAYS

(CNN) — As horrified travelers watched, a Greyhound Canada bus passenger repeatedly stabbed and then decapitated a young man who was sitting and sleeping beside him, a witness said Thursday.

Police investigate the scene near Portage la Prairie, Canada, on Thursday.

Police investigate the scene near Portage la Prairie, Canada, on Thursday.

“There was a bloodcurdling scream. I was just reading my book, and all of a sudden, I heard it,” Garnet Caton, who was sitting in front of the two men, said of the Wednesday night incident west of Portage la Prairie in Manitoba.

“It was like something between a dog howling and a baby crying, I guess you could say,” Caton said. “I don’t think it will leave me for a while.”

Passengers exited the bus, and a trucker who stopped provided wrenches and crowbars to several of them so they could keep the suspect on the bus until police came, witnesses told Canadian TV.

The suspect was seized with the help of negotiators, Royal Canadian Mounted Police Sgt. Steve Colwell said.

He said no formal charges had been filed, and he declined to identify either the man in custody or the victim, who were among 34 passengers.

The was no immediate indication of what prompted the attack, Colwell said. He said he didn’t know how many times the victim was stabbed. Witnesses described the weapon as a large butcher-type knife.

Caton told The Associated Press that the victim appeared to be about 19 years old and had gotten on the bus in Edmonton.

Colwell praised the “extraordinary” level-headedness and bravery of the bus driver and passengers[…].

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Patti Boyd: Once Beautiful, Now Looks Like She Ran the 100 Yard Dash in a 90 Yard Gym.

July 5, 2008

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Disregard George's unibrow.Attracting Englishmen like no other lover.

She had two rock legends under her thumb for twenty odd years. And her time has come. The subject of such classic rock staples as “Something” and “Layla” is now a hideous wench…

 

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Lakers Set to Win 4th NBA Title Under Leadership of Phil Jackson; Boston is a Stupid Town

June 8, 2008

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Death of a Cereal Box

June 5, 2008

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 Death of a Cereal Box: James Shields isn't a Coco Crisp kinda guy

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Kris Kristoferson and Barbara Streisand Passionately Hate the Cobra Post Immediately Below This Post

May 29, 2008

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Frueters- Krist Kristoferson and Barbara Streisand are disgusted by the lack of artistic creativity and the pompous display of carlessness seemingly aimed at sabotaging Frumpzilla, Inc. says a spokesman for Ms. Streisand’s pre-show vomit bucket and Mr. Kristoferson’s beard, shaved chest, and man-hands. Indeed, Ms. Streisand’s violent perm speaks loudly and is evidently riddled with metaphors of a safe post-Iraq world amidst a jump shot by Kobe Bryant’s rapist wit.

4 Million Dollar Rock

Yes, that’s a 4 million dollar rock on that little wedding finger, folks. But what about Robert Redford or Nick Nolte, who is the penultimate co-star/love interest to a Barbara Streisand character? To unravel that riddle is to live an enduring life of enchanted endocrinology.

Dukakis ’08!!!

What if?

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The Purity of Showtime: A.C. Green Revisited.

May 27, 2008

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With the Lakers destined to win yet another title, we revisit the glory days of the Showtime team with a look back at none other than the seminal team virgin, A.C. Green.

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Teens Accused of Using Corpse Head to Smoke Pot

May 9, 2008

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Man, I feel light headed..
         [Courtesy of KTLA] Houston — Three Texas teens have been arrested after police say one told them that they had dug up a skull and fashioned it into a bong to smoke pot.

Authorities say the teens dug up Willie Simms’ grave in what is most likely a 19th century veterans grave yard, broke off the skull and smoked marijuana from it.

Police were led to the grave site where they found a knocked over headstone and a water-filled hole more than four-feet deep. Two of the teens, who are each 17, are charged with misdemeanor abuse of a corpse. A third, who is 16, is in the juvenile justice system.

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Obama Wins Guam by 7 Votes, Guamanian Superdelegate Remains Undecided

May 3, 2008

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Guam- The Other U.S. Territory

Super Barack

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Herschel Walker On His Identity Disorder: “I was convinced I was either Bo Jackson or Walter Payton”

April 15, 2008

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WRIGHTSVILLE, Georgia— Many people think they know the legendary Herschel Walker, and that’s because they’ve probably met him in person and hung out with him. He’s a famous running back who won the 1982 Heisman Trophy.

Skip to my Lou

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REUTERS- Jessica Alba Yells at Parking Attendant, Accusing Him of Setting “Unfair Parking Rates”

April 2, 2008

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$1.50 an hour?!?!?!?!?!?

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Local Man Apologizes to Male Friends For Once Being a Staunch Tori Amos Fan

March 24, 2008

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Tori sucking ass

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Sentient Socialist Stoner Watches Obama Pastor’s Speech, Agrees Hillary Wasn’t a “Black Boy”

March 14, 2008

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Jeffrey McIntosh, a local Asheville stoner and hippy, viewed repeated footage of Barack Obama’s Pastor making various speeches about American culture and Hilary Clinton. McIntosh, a founding member of Granola’s for More S’mores, dissected Reverend Wright’s speech as follows:

Rev. Obama

 

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Scorsese Breaks Silence About Next Four Film Projects

March 13, 2008

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Marty

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