This guy is third in the line of Presidential succession…

Wed, May 28, 2008 at 12:10 pm ET

Kissed With Apocalypse, The Rest

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And if that doesn’t scare the bejesus out of you — well, you’ve got balls the size of melons.  Or you just don’t give a shit, which is effectively the same thing.

Senator Robert Byrd has accomplished a great many things in his 90 years on this Earth — the last 56 of which he’s spent as a United States Congressman and Senator, setting the Senate record for longest term of service in the process.  Prior to that he held such illustrious titles as “Exalted Cyclops” and “Grand Kleagle” in some organization called the Ku Klux Klan, but that’s a story for another day.

Right now Byrd is President pro tempore of the United States Senate, a position which, as noted above, puts him third in line to become President should the proverbial cocky-dooky ever hit the fan.

So here’s how that could pan out:

  1. W (The President) resigns upon seeing his approval ratings somehow dip into negative integers
  2. Cheney’s heart finally declares it’s had enough of this world
  3. And Nancy Pelosi decides to forgo the opportunity to be President, retiring from politics all together, citing the “F” rating she received from the NRA as “posing too great a risk.”
  4. Meet President Robert C. Byrd.

Yeah, so hopefully the above clip just captures Senator Byrd on a bad day.  I mean, I hate it when people refer to themselves in the 3rd person as much as the next guy, but is that something we really want our President to be crusading about?  And as for the Senator from Timbuktu, well, I’ll just leave it at that…

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4 Responses to “This guy is third in the line of Presidential succession…”

  1. drivebyjustin Says:

    wait…you’re more worried about the fact that he wants to refer to himself in the third person than the constant ‘i’m about to fuckin’ sneeze’ face??  you can’t go have talks with the terrists when they think you’re about to expel snot rockets in their direction.  it’ll be a disaster.

  2. Ariel Gilcoine Says:

    Spot on with this write-up, I actually think this website needs much more consideration. I’ll most likely be again to learn way more, thanks for that info.

  3. dennnis finton Says:

    if this guy is third in line to be president we are all in trouble he looks like he is about to kill over

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