Ahda Roomsman Wants to Help You Throw Down Some of the Nastiest Dunks You, Your Best Friends, and the Courts Have Ever Seen

Wed, Sep 8, 2010 at 5:08 pm ET

College Basketball, Kissed With Apocalypse

Frumped by

Ahda Roomsman's ShoesThe Gingerhead Man linked me to a nice little video of The 50 Best Dunks in College Basketball History today. Pretty dang good, I must say, and we thank Jeff Eisenberg (via Slam Online) for that.

Naturally, this led to a discussion about who the greatest dunker we’d ever seen play in person was. It was quickly decided that, without question, the answer was former Georgia Tech star — and possible current “Will Dunk for Food” sign holder — Ismail Muhammad. That man could flat out yam, and we thank him for that.

Now, having a tendency to dwell on the past, when I saw the little ad in Muhammad’s YouTube highlights telling me to “Throw down SICK DUNKS Easily — Get a MASSIVE vertical now!”, well, I couldn’t help but smile. I mean, there was a time in my life where the prospect of increasing my vertical leap by up to 50% could be likened to how I feel about doing the same for my annual income today. Seriously, let’s talk more about this after the jump…

Remember those “Strength” shoes (pictured above) that you used to see in the back of the Eastbay catalog? I probably asked for those things over the course of four straight annual birthday and Christmas cycles. Did I ever get them? No.

Incidentally, I’ve yet to ever throw down any sick dunks either. Did the fact that I never got those magic shoes possibly have anything to do with me clicking on the aforementioned “SICK DUNKS” ad today? Probably, but then I’m no shrink.

Nevertheless, while I can’t be sure if it was simply an innocent penchant for nostalgia — or an unhealthy need to finally validate some unfulfilled, adolescent desire — I can unequivocally say that clicking on that “SICK DUNKS” link brought about a positive change in my life. Why, you ask? Because it acquainted me with Ahda Roomsman: The Greatest Increase Your Vertical Leap Pitchman on the Face of the Earth.Ahda Roomsman. I assume that’s his name, because — despite watching the following video at least 20 times — I can’t for the life of me decipher what Ahda Roomsman introduces himself as.

Disregard that ribbed cotton, mock v-neck t-shirt, and the face even a mother could punch. Don’t be concerned that Ahda Roomsman couldn’t be bothered to purchase a camera stand, or even rest the camera on some stable, inanimate object. Try to even forget about the fact that Ahda Roomsman — based on his speech patterns — has obviously never played a competitive game of pick-up basketball in his life.

Just accept that — if you learn his ways — whether you’re tall, short — “even a frickin’ midget” — you’ll be throwin’ down some nasty dunks in no time. And we thank him for that…

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