John Travolta Heals Haiti With Only His Touch

Wed, Jan 27, 2010 at 12:39 am ET

Kissed With Apocalypse, The Rest

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People of Haiti need not be concerned anymore.  It’s true that their airport can only handle 130 landings each day and many planes circle the airfield hoping to land and offer their food, water, and other support.  However, 1 of those planes that was able to land was piloted by John Travolta and contained some food and a whole lot of crazy.  Great news.

Travolta dropped off a whole crop of Scientologists who, dressed in yellow shirts, have been using a process called “assist” in which the power of touch is said to reconnect nervous systems damaged by trauma.  You read that correct.  Scientologists are touching people and claiming it is healing them.

One U.S. doctor, expressed his doubt of the procedure saying, “I didn’t know touching could heal gangrene”.  The reason he didn’t know that is because it’s just ridiculously untrue.  You would have to be bat-shit crazy to think any of that would have an affect on people that have been severely injured during an earthquake.

Look at that dude.  What is your index finger going to heal?!?!  His other broken leg?  One of these geniuses, who is known only as ‘Silvie'(go figure) said “All the patients are happy with the technique, but some doctors don’t like the yellow T-shirts.  It’s a colour thing.”  Yeah, it’s the color of your shirts that have people questioning you.  By the way, none of these patients were available for comment, so we’ll just have to take “Silvie” at his/her word.

Scientology is just one of those things that gets me extremely pissed off.  How someone can believe the word of a former science fiction writer, is beyond me.  Below, you’ll find an awesome video of the South Park fellas telling the story Scientologists believe.  It may seem ridiculous, but that’s only because it is.

Southpark Vs ScientologyThe top video clips of the week are here

credit for the original story to DailyMail.

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3 Responses to “John Travolta Heals Haiti With Only His Touch”

  1. Bronce McClain Says:

    RT @YieldToFrump: Breaking News: John Travolta can heal Haiti using only his touch: #scientology

  2. SickFakemrejr8234 Says:

    RT @YieldToFrump: Breaking News: John Travolta can heal Haiti using only his touch: #scientology

  3. Sarah Says:

    Thanks so much for all of your fun posts! I have really enjoyed reading your blog. I can not wait to share this with my friend who thinks Travolta can do not wrong… clearly she is the wrong one! :)

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