Tag Archives: New Orleans Saints

Quick Draft Thoughts: Part 1

April 29, 2011


No fancy intro here.  Four observations from your humble and unreliable correspondent.

Lets get to it…

1.  Finally something to watch on Thanksgiving

Best pick of the night belonged to the Detroit Lions.  Hands down.   My favorite pick.  The most entertaining thing to watch in all of football is a dominating defensive tackle (see Suh’s performance against Texas in the 2010 Big XII title game and Fairley in this year’s National Title).  The goat of previous drafts, the Lions have hit 3 home runs in recent years with Calvin Johnson, Ndamukong Suh and now Nick Fairley….with a foruth pick that could make it a grand slam should Ciaran man-crush and ceiling poster boy Matty Stafford ever prove not to be made out of beautiful fine crystal.  That aside…


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Premature Joculation Awareness: The Silver Lining to Hartley’s Miss Against the Falcons

September 27, 2010


Naturally, there’s been a lot of talk about Saints kicker Garrett Hartley missing what would have been a game winning, dome-assisted, 29 yard chip shot against the Falcons yesterday in New Orleans. Just a week after being named NFC Special Teams Player of the Week, it might cost Hartley his job.

There still might be some good that comes out of this, though. Thanks to a lovely gif of Saints owner Tom Benson, some site called Deadspin has tried to raise awareness about a growing problem: Premature Joculation. Now, if the condition were isolated to elderly men, there might not be as much cause for concern. Unfortunately, as you’ll see below, even strapping young men under the age of 40 are not immune (19 second mark).

It’s all in your head, Saints Assistant Defensive Line coach Travis Jones. Next time, just relax, and let things take their course. Oh, and many thanks to Garrett Hartley…

Travis Jones played his college ball (and pretty well) and the University of Georgia back in the early 90’s (tough times for the Dawgs, eh?). After a very brief stint in the pros as a player, he eventually left his coaching mark as a DL coach and recruiting coordinator for some very good LSU Tigers teams. He’s been an NFL coach since 2004.

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It’s official: Matthew Stafford has the strongest arm in the NFL

May 3, 2010


Matthew Stafford has the strongest arm in the NFL Now if he could just stay off his backside long enough to put it to good use, who knows; maybe the Lions could get above .500 for the first time in a decade.

Seriously, though. Go ahead. Tell your friends. Given the immeasurable appeal and influence the Madden franchise has on the masses, Sundays at the bar shall no longer be graced by the classic “biggest arm” debate. No more inebriated oral dissertations on the physics of velocity versus distance. No more girlfriends wondering just who the hell Jay Cutler is — The one with the weak chin? Yeah, that’s him — it’s all over, and the folks at EA Sports are the ones to blame.

Indeed, the evil empire of sports video gaming recently released a sneak peek of some of its Madden 2011 Quarterbacks, and, with a “Throwing Power” rating of 97, Stafford shall now and forever be known as having the biggest and baddest of all the “laser, rocket arms” launching pigskins during the 2010 season.

In other news, Peyton Manning and Drew Brees are really, really good NFL QB’s — almost perfect, in fact, with 99 overall ratings — and the league’s suspected bias against the non-traditional, “athletic” QB is further confirmed by Vince Young’s 79.

Expect numerous “who’s better, who’s best?” arguments to come to screeching halts this Fall when these figures start getting thrown around; rosy cheeks will be abound. Get more ammunition here

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Kim Kardashian and Cristiano Ronaldo are a couple…

April 16, 2010


And it’s a official, according to Perez Hilton. While it’s certainly disheartening that my chances with Kim have now apparently been shot down, at least, as Perez says, this is still quite an upgrade from Reggie. Why? Money, obviously.

Absent endorsements, Real Madrid’s, Madeira born Winger rakes in close to $18 million annually. The sum of Bush’s salary in three of his four years with the Saints doesn’t eclipse that amount, so I’m confident Kim should feel well taken care of.  Good timing, too, given that Ronaldo is about to star on the sports world’s biggest stage: This summer’s 2010 World Cup.

Let’s just hope Ronaldo’s newly acquired assets aren’t such a distraction that they contribute to a paltry pitch performance…

Kim Kardashian and Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo are a couple Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo is dating Kim Kardashian

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Who the hell cheats on Kim Kardashian? Reggie Bush. That’s who.

March 25, 2010


Kim Kardashian corset

Thanks to some sites called Perez Hilton and Radar (that’s right, I’m not above them), I just learned Reggie Bush may or may not have been running around on my beloved Kim Kardashian with some chick named “January.”

Believe it or not,  and all apologies in advance to anyone associated with the name “January,” she apparently is not a stripper.  She is, however, a waitress.  So…

Anyways, this is all quite disheartening considering the time and effort we put into our Kim and Reggie heavy Super Bowl prop betting piece awhile back.  That and, of course, how sad it is to see a woman like Kim be mistreated so.  Shame on you, Reggie.

Taking a step back, though, I have no desire to serve as judge, jury and executioner.  With that in mind, I figured I’d let you decide:  Everything else held equal (huge assumption, I know), who do you go with here?

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Just another lazy Sunday afternoon for the LSU Philosophy Department…

December 10, 2009

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It’s just the way of the universe, “destiny”; assuming one aligns his or herself with a compatibilist approach to the universe, of course.  Humans may, indeed, have “free will,” but, in the end, aren’t our “free” actions just contributors to a predetermined, inevitable end? 

Don’t bother worrying about such things. This system, this plan, was set in motion a long, long time ago.  Evidenced by the Saints’ miraculous escape from the jowls of defeat against the Redskins last Sunday, it’s simply fate, but at least the universe maintains balance.  As one NFL franchise is cosmically steered towards its destined glory, one man (Shaun Suisham) must necessarily lose his job and struggle to put food in the jowls of his family.  Again, though, don’t let such things trouble you.  It’s just the way it has to be.  Besides, aren’t there more important things to be troubled about?  Of course there are…  

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