Tag Archives: I see what you did there

James Brown’s body may have harbored even more soul than previously thought

March 12, 2010

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James Brown's newest single: I feel dead?LaRhonda Pettit, the Godfather of Soul’s illegitimate daughter, presumably broke out in a cold sweat over the news that her father’s body has apparently gotten up off that crypt that was housing his body in South Carolina and is now, thusly, out of sight.

It’s true, James Brown’s body is missing, and, given the controversy regarding the circumstances surrounding his death, I’ve got the feeling  that this could turn out to be a super bad situation.

Upon Brown’s passing back in 2006, initial reports suggested it was the drugs, alcohol and painkillers the hardest working man in show business was doing to death that brought about his demise at the tender age of 73.

Ms. Pettit, however, believed there was foul play, but her requests for an autopsy have been repeatedly denied.  In light of this, LaRhonda now thinks her father’s body is being hidden to ensure a full post-mortem examination is never performed, sparing any alleged perpetrators the big payback that would surely await them once discovered.

Of course, strange things happen, and there’s certainly a chance, however slim, that Brown may be back up on the good foot, living in America, and making it funky in ways never thought possible.

In that case, who knows? Perhaps Brown will be delivering the payback himself.  Either way, this bizarre story is sure to leave many feeling bewildered.

Source: The Daily Mail (The Admiral with the link and shoop)

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Man survives three-week erection, may regret living to tell about it…

March 4, 2010

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Just one of the many practical inconveniences posed by PriapismIt’s true. A 55 year-old man saved himself, and his penis (to a degree), finally seeking emergency medical treatment after managing to go three straight weeks on the up and up.   In light of the many practical inconveniences posed by Priapism, how he was able to pull off this stiff task remains unclear.

Adding insult to injury, this was an unavoidable, all-natural arousal, too. Our hapless victim hadn’t even taken any “enhancement” drugs. Rather, his condition was triggered by some rare “nervous disorder.” Seriously.

To make matters worse, and in a stroke of truly bitter sweet irony, despite emergency surgery saving him and his member, this little episode has rendered the poor bastard impotent. So now, though apparently having the mojo to keep it up for a fortnight or more, he’ll have to pop a little blue pill or two if he wants some action. What a world, what a world…

Source: Metro.  Dbj with the link

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Len Elmore: “What Jon Henson lacks in girth, he makes up for in length”

February 14, 2010

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It was a UNC love fest all afternoon during Saturday’s N.C. State-North Carolina match-up, and Elmore made sure nobody questioned the slight appearance of the next honored jersey at UNC…

Elmore made the observation, verbatim, “what John Henson lacks in girth, he makes up for in length.”

Insecure Elmore?

I should hope so Len.

Lengthy John Henson

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Sausage stuffed with Taco Bell’s Cheesy Double Beef Burrito ensures Valentine’s Day romance

February 12, 2010

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The ingredients necessary to make sure your sausage is in her mouth before your head hits the pillow.Well, Frumpsters, it’s that time again. Valentine’s Day is less than 48 hours away, and, as always, we’re here to provide a few pointers in hopes of ensuring your night is nothing short of an unequivocal romantic success.

A year ago we offered the lonely hearts out there some advice aimed at landing them an eleventh hour date for the big day (we’re confident we helped some people get lucky that night, and don’t you dare try to take that away from us). This year, however, we’re going in a slightly different direction, but only in form.

Just as one should never underestimate the power of subtle innuendo, one should also never underestimate the raw, unbridled aphrodisiacal prowess of food. Especially even remotely Freudian food.  Like sausage.  Or nuts.  Or bananas. Or even, dare I say, Taco Bell’s Cheesy Double Beef Burrito (yeah, the one with that catchy jingle).

All uniquely suggestive in their own capacity, yes, but just what the frump would happen if one were to combine them?

Well, that’s for you to find out…by serving up one or more of the following culinary masterpieces (after the jump) as your Valentine’s Day circumstances may dictate.

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Hardees gets a bit cheeky with new ad campagin…

July 2, 2009

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Hardees (don’t ever call it Carl’s Jr. around us) has come a long way since its humble beginnings in the scenic, cultural mecca that is Rocky Mount, North Carolina.  Apparently, however, solid, yet simple, hamburgers and all beef hot dogs, classic “Big” roast beef sandwiches, and tater tots don’t really cut the mustard anymore.  Well, they haven’t for awhile, I guess.

Remember Hardees’ relatively brief stint with fried chicken?  Some said it was better than KFC.  How about the Frisco Burger?  Still, quite possibly, the reigning champion in the “Most Likely to Trigger Spontaneous Cardiac Arrest” category at the Fast Food awards.

More recently, though, Hardees has gone in a slightly different direction: Bigger, thicker, juicier meat (or cheese paper) that beautiful, scantily clad, women (or blue collar manual labor) are more than eager to wrap their hands around, get a little messy, and gobble down.  Hey, it works, right?  Pushing the envelope a bit, maybe, but who couldn’t get behind that?  Well, someone in the marketing department, while certainly behind it, apparently felt they hadn’t pushed quite hard enough; decided it was time to come out with a full on thrust…

Apparently there’s an entire lineup of these spots.  Make the Jump for some more…

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It’s Secretary’s Day! (again)

April 22, 2009

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Naughty Secretary

As most of our hundreds of thousands of readers have probably noticed, Frumpzilla has been on the mend for awhile now.  Still is, really, but, despite our current state of flux, we just couldn’t resist paying homage to one of our favorite secular holidays.  We could, however, fail to come up with anything original, and instead recycle our incredibly popular Secretaries’ Day article from last year.  Don’t worry, though, the advice is still good…REALLY good, so enjoy celebrating Secretaries’ Day 2009 with these helpful tips and suggestions…

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It’s Secretary’s Day

April 23, 2008

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Have you made your little pencil pusher’s day special?

My 'administrative professional' refuses to deliver my mail in this manner.  I've asked.

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Tar Heels Hold Off Duke, 76-68

March 10, 2008

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Win 2nd round of battle to determine which team, fan base has bigger pole stuck up its ass.

Tyler Hansbrough get his revenge...on the rimGreg Paulus, Being an Ass

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