Frumpzilla

The Heels left Durham with a W, which begs the question, does a win in the team’s only rivalry game make the season a success?  Short answer – no.  Longer answer after the jump.

Tar Heel nation can breathe a sigh of relief, as UNC beat hated rival Duke 28-20 in a nail biter on Saturday.  The more delusional segment of the Tar Heel fan base believes this lone victory makes the season a success, despite the 8-4 record they posted on the season.

Look, we know Duke sucks.  They have for a long, long time.  There’s nothing we can do about it – they are our lone and most bitter rival, and the hatred runs both ways.  Hopefully the signs of improvement Duke has shown this year will help football make it back near the top of this heated rivalry.  We know they have no chance in basketball, so this is as good as it gets.

T.J. Yates bounced back from the most atrocious game of his career, going 15-of-19 for 190 yards and 3 touchdowns.  “Nothing feels better than beating our rivals.  I’m glad we were able to rise to the occasion and show up for the most important game of the season.”  When asked why the team couldn’t display the same effort in its 4 prior losses this season, Yates attributed it to the “overall lack of a rivalry” with the other schools.  “Nothing raises your level of play like a true rivalry.  Those losses all sting, but none would have been worse than if we had lost to Duke.  It’s good to have a rival, because some of these other schools don’t even have one.”

Having choked away the season and a chance to play for an ACC championship, the Heels bounced back and were able to claim the Victory Bell for the fifth straight season. 

Shortly after the game, however, some were showing signs of concern.  Nicks was overheard saying “this is only one game… Since when is a season’s success measured by one single game?  That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

Coach Butch Davis wasn’t all smiles, either.  “We lost 4 games this season.  I know the fans may be happy we won 8 games, but we really let ourselves and the alumni down by not winning them all.  I do not want this program to be of the mindset that beating our rival makes the season a success.”

With this epic battle behind them, the Heels will prepare for a meaningless bowl game which signifies the overall bitchassness of NCAA football.  I hope the football team can tap into the intense emotion from Saturday’s game and channel it to the equally crappy opponent who looms in the bowl game.  The nation’s most popular university expects nothing less, although we’ll probably have forgotten about the football team in a few days time.

Now that college football is leaving everything to the computers, the civilized world can finally move on to manlier sports like the NFL and NCAA basketball, where the score is settled on gameday.